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Parents acting weird
Sorry for the extreme length, haha :(
I have these really cool parents...they don't really yell a lot and I can joke around with them all the time and they give me lots of space
But lately a lot of bad things have been happening. The dryer doesn't work, our dog got hit for the second time and is now paralyzed from the hips down, our shower is not draining properly, and we don't have any money to top it all off. And also, on my part, over the weekend I had a 103 fever and I'm still sick, a lot of my friends have been mad at me for no reason, and the guy I've liked for a really long time just got a girlfriend.
I know all of this is really stressful, and especially to my parents. But lately they've been taking all they're frustration out on me and it's really beginning to get to me. I've just been acting like my normal self around them, but they take every little mistake I make as a HUGE problem, and they scream at me for it. Like if I tell my little sister to please clean something up while I'm out somewhere, and she says she'll do it, but when I get back she's sitting there watching TV and she never did anything, and I yell at her (but I don't scream or anything, nothing like that). So my mom will FLIP OUT at me and start saying the way I treat her is disgusting and threatens to call off all the plans I have and everything. And that's only one example. Like if I don't put my dish in the dishwasher, screaming. If I don't do my homework, screaming. If I'm on the computer too long, screaming. Etc etc etc.
And the other night was my very first homecoming dance (I'm a freshman) and I had my two best friends over getting ready with me. My mom asked what time the dance was, and I said "It's at 7" and my mom gives me this glare and says "You SAID it was at 8" and I said "Well I made a mistake...it's really at 7" and she said "so I assume it ends at 9:30?" and I said "No, 10:30". And then she just went off at me about how was I supposed to know that? and all that. And as she walked off she was just like "You're welcome" to me.
And if that wasn't bad enough, awhile later my little sister came upstairs and said it was dinner time, and I said I wasn't hungry. So she left, and then ten minutes later she came back upstairs in tears and said "Mom is really upset! She made everything look all nice for you and now she's disappointed" and I said "Why should I make her feel better? She's been screaming at me all week!"
So THEN, my dad screamed from downstairs for me to come down, so I came down (My poor friends were sitting in my room just staring at me) and he brought me into the dining room and just SCREAMED at me. He was like "You had BETTER knock off your FUCKING attitude (my parents never swear at me) or there's going to be a lot of trouble! Mom prepared a whole dinner and made it all nice because she wanted it to be a SPECIAL NIGHT for YOU! She was going to go pick you up at 10:30 and everything and she just wants to make you happy but you're a little brat and you just need things your way!" And I ran back upstairs in tears and locked myself in the bathroom. My parents made me CRY homecoming night in front of my best friends. I was so devastated. And the worst part, my friends got really mad at me that night and they didn't want me to help them get ready. I still feel guilty about that whole stupid dinner thing, too.
I'm just so upset and almost depressed about everything because this is basically one of the worst weeks of my life, everything is going wrong. I just don't want to be around anyone, ESPECIALLY my family (but if I try to get away from them for too long, I get yelled at). I just go in my room and lock my door because I don't want to be talked to or yelled at. It's the worst thing ever.
So I don't know what to do about my parents. Making peace with them would lift a huge weight off my shoulders. But I'm afraid to talk things out with them because I know I'll be yelled at and I'll end up crying. I'm pretty sensitive and I cry easily. I really miss my old parents. I feel like I don't even know them. And I'm really the only one being yelled at. My two little sisters aren't being yelled at at all.
So any advice? Should I just sit it out or talk to them about it? I really don't know
Any help will be appreciated, especially because of the length. Sorry again, and thanks
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
After reading this, I feel stressed out, too! It sucks that your relationship with your parents took such a bad turn, but I'm pretty sure that you can get it back on track, especially since they weren't always that way.
What I really think would be the best way for you to handle this is to go in your room, get out a notebook and a pencil and write everything that you feel in a letter. Tell them about how you know that things are really stressful and that it's hard on them, but that you really miss the way that your relationship used to be and you want it back. Explain that you don't mean to "give them attitude." You should realize that you probably did hurt your mom's feelings when you wouldn't come down after she worked to make a nice dinner for you... just acknowledge that in the letter. And last but not least, tell them that when things get stressful for all of you, you want to stay patient with one another and help each other out if you can, and if you can't do that, work something out where you can give each other some space when you need it. Just be sincere with whatever you're saying, make sure that you effectively express your feelings, and take into consideration what they might be feeling. You seem like a really smart chick, and I have no doubt that you'll be able to work this out. :) Good luck!
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Aren't parents just tons of fun sometimes? Just kidding. I'm sorry you're having it so rough. So you described your parents's problems with the plumbing and the dryer and the dog (sorry to hear about that. Hope he gets to feeling better soon.) It sounds like they may be taking some things out on you. It's not at all fair, but sometimes that is the only way they know how to cope. Here are a few things you can try, and see if it helps bring some peace to the house again.
1. Do a couple of chores for your mom to help her out. Sounds like her stress is going through the roof.
2. Show up for dinner, and try to smile, even if you don't feel like it. It may not work the first few times, but eventually they'll look forward to it.
3. Get off the computer a half hour before you normally would. Should cut down on the screaming.
4. Homework is a necessary evil. Not doing it causes bad grades, extra homework, frustrated teachers and PO'd parents. Just do your homework.
If you can do these things it will show your parents that you are willing to meet them halfway. If it doesn't work, you can always count the days to graduation....
All my love,
Aunt Kerry
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Sorry about whats happening for you.
I think you need to calmly sit down and ask them what is going on. They might have their reasons for acting the way they do/did.
Maybe even talking with your sisters might help.
But the main thing is not to feel guilty. if haven't done anything wrong you shouldn't beat yourself down about it.
Tell your friends what is going on and if the're real frineds they'll understand.
If you still feel upset check this out im from australia so it might not work but im sure it wil :[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
-They are open at certain times so yeah.
-another idea is to talk to a family counseller. they are really nice and i've been to oine and they really clear so many things up.
hope i helped! lots of hugs, abbie xx
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