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STI's
18/f: Hey. So my boyfriend and I had a lot of problems. He was overly insecure and jealous and yelled all the time. I really needed emotional support at the time and after a few months I ended up cheating on him. Me and this new guy had sex a few times and didn't use a condom. He was quite promiscuous and looking back it's probably the most stupid and dangerous thing I've ever done. My boyfriend and I broke up but after a while, we both had personal problems we had to deal with. But now I think we both know where we went wrong and we're trying to work on it. It's weird because in a way I think we're stonger than ever. We have a no secrets policy now lol. I told him everything about this guy I cheated on him with including that we didn't use a condom. He obviously wants me to get tested, and I said I would of course. But the clinic near me only tests for chlamydia. I'm meaning to get tested for that, but they were shut when I called up so I haven't quite got round to it yet. Then, the other day I was having sex with my boyfriend but it hurt and we stopped. This morning, I noticed a rash, down there. It's itchy and quite painful, raised and bumpy. I'm naturally worried. I looked around online and it sounds a bit like herpes, but the last time I had sex with the guy I cheated with was about 2 months ago and he didn't have any sores or a rash or anything like that at a time, doesn't the virus have to be active to be contagious? So maybe it's not that... It could possibly be a reaction to a new cream I've started using for shaving rash. I've been using it for just under a week. I'm really worried though.
The way I see it, if it is herpes there's nothing I can do about it but wait till it goes away anyway, and it'll come back at some point. If it's because of this cream, well i'm gonna stop using it anyway so that'll be fine. So there's no reason to get checked out either way. Unless it could be something else? I know it sounds stupid, but I really don't wanna have to go get checked out. I'll go for any test I can do myself, but to have someone look down there... I would die. I'm self conscious as it is. But, what if it is herpes? Shouldn't I tell my boyfriend? Because it will come up again won't it. And I'm trying to build trust, I dont want him to think i've cheated if it flares up in a few years time.
argh what do i do?
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Hi there! I'm pretty much the site expert on herpes, I believe. I've done some thorough research on it and have dealt with the problem myself.
I have many, many links about this disease on my column that I will link you to. If you are wise you will reach every ounce of information I give on the provided links because herpes is a very, very serious illness which can even result in your future children being born dead or blind:
"How do you know if you have herpes? What is herpes anyway?"
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
"Can you contract herpes on the outside of your genitals?"
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
"How did I get herpes? We used a condom and everything!"
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
"I have herpes. When am I considered "contagious"?"
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
"Can you get an STD from giving a hand job?"
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
"My boyfriend got sperm in my eyes. Are there risks? (Ocular herpes information)"
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Because you may not have the time at this very moment to thoroughly read through all of the material listed above I will point out some very important parts about the herpes virus.
For oral herpes:
Usually the outbreak begins with a very slight tingling. It may increase to itching before a painful bump appears. The sore usually lasts 5 - 7 days and is commonly located on one of the sides of the upper lip (though it can be anywhere really). Though those are the common side-effects, some people do not experience any tingling, itching, or pain.
For genital herpes (most likely what you are talking about):
SOME people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands. Many people experience much nerve pain throughout their bodies, specifically legs and back, before and during an outbreak. Urination can be uncomfortable to painful, especially for women. The first outbreak may not occur for years so it is vital that regular blood STD tests (specifically looking for the herpes strains) are taken every six months to ensure health.
The only way you can truly know if you have herpes is to visit a doctor while having a visible outbreak so they can test it. They may scrap the area and take your blood. The blood may show antibodies for the specific strain of herpes.
Genital herpes can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies so it's important to take care of your immune system to lessen outbreaks. Babies can contract it from their mothers and it can cause blindness and fatalities so it's important that, if you become pregnant at any point in your lifetime, you let your doctor know immediately that you have herpes. It is also said that HSV-2 helps to spread HIV/AIDs since there are open wounds on the genitals.
If you are sexually active please let your partner(s) know about your disease if it is confirmed you have contracted such illness. They may have already contracted it from you already but they deserve to know. It only takes a few seconds for the infection to actually attach to the cells of the next person. From now on you need to let your future sexual partners know ahead of time about the dangers of engaging in sexual relations with you. If you do not let them know and they contract the virus from you, they can actually TAKE YOU TO COURT AND SUE YOU for bodily damages.
You also need to make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching the area around the sore. You CAN spread it to other places on your body. It may spread on it's own, but it'd be a shame to see you back saying you touched your eye after you touched the sore and now have contracted ocular herpes. You should take every precaution you can to not spread it to other areas of your body or to other people.
You need to see a doctor for treatment of this. Becoming sexually active means that you feel you're mature enough for everything that may entail. In your case this entails a possible STD infection and the need for a physical check-up. If you do not go to the doctor for this the disease can spread worse and can alter your life forever. This is serious. A fifteen minute vaginal check-up is A LOT easier then having your female organs removed after you gave birth to three full-term dead babies and one very blind one. Understand what I'm trying to get through to you? This isn't a game.
Tell your partner.
Make a doctor's appointment for as SOON as you can get it!
Just be open with the doctor and say, "I had sex with two people and a little later I developed this strange rash that sounds like herpes to me. I am afraid of having my vagina checked out so I am nervous about this. I know this needs to be done though so please work with me and my nervousness today..."
THIS IS IMPORTANT! Do not just ignore the fact hat you may have a disease. The flare up may clear up, yes, and you might not have to deal with it for a few more weeks (because, to be honest, you are EXTREMELY LUCKY if you go months without an outbreak) and then it will become increasingly worse.
Not telling your partner is not building trust. If it takes him months before he has an outbreak he is going to know the disease was from you. He may began to hate you for destroying his body. He may end up taking you to court you later in life, like I said. You are putting your loved one in harm's way by ignoring this!
Please, see a doctor and put your stupidity behind you. This isn't just about you anymore!
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You'd better get checked out ASAP. Herpes isn't just a rash. The outward symptoms are signs of something more serious going on inside you. Left unchecked it can lead to some serious medical problems. Don't wait. I know its scary, but what's done is done. You can't change the past but you can take control of your future. I have a very close family member with herpes. She leads a very normal life with normal relationships, but she will always have to deal with this issue, and always have to inform her partners about it. You need do get educated by a doctor about it, as well, so you know when its safe for sex and other activities. You can still transmit herpes even when you're not having an outbreak. You can do this. The hardest part is taking that first step, but I think you'll find that once you're more informed its not as scary as you think. And, like you said, it might not even be that, but you won't know until you get tested.
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