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How can i stop being anorexic without telling my parents?
(sorry i'm not sure if this is in the right subject but it seems about right) hi, i am 13 years old, i weigh 108 pounds and i am 5'8. about 4 months ago i weighed 153 pounds. everyday i force myself not to eat to a point where the hunger hurts so bad that i end up cutting my wrist just so i forget about the hunger pain. and whenever i do eat, its hardly anything and if i eat over about 400 calories or if i feel like i've eaten way too much i force myself to throw up (and i know that only bulimic people do that, but i dont binge like they do, only when i feel like i have eaten alot, and alot for me is like a pb & j sandwich). I really want to stop for me, and my friends all think that i am going to kill myself, i am so pale and weak and i really want to stop, but just the thought of eating and food makes me want to throw up. someone please please help me, i want to stop but i dont know how!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Well I've never had anorexia myself, but I've studied it as part of my course at university and I know that first of all cures are rare and the techniques, to prevent the condtion becoming worse that are available, do require alot of effort, information and experience and thats too much for someone of your age to deal with on their own. I don't mean that to be patronising but you have enough to deal with in that you're so unwell with it and you're at an age where you're whole world is changing alot, so you'll never be able to devote your time completely to changing things as you're time will already be divided.
Also, it isn't only bulimic people that binge eat or throw up in anyway, its actually becoming an increasingly common part of anorexia in people so you're not alone in that sense.
One other thing that I have learned from studying it is that it is a condition which becomes more troublesome the longer you take to do something about it because in a sense it becomes an addiction, in that you behave more aggressively in trying to achieve your goal (i.e. reaching the weight you want) the longer you have that addiction or condition. So you need to do something about it as soon as possible.
I'm not saying you HAVE to tell you're parents, but you're going to have to tell someone perhaps someone at school could put you in contact with the right people to talk to you about this.
If you want to know any specific information about the topic you can email me and i'll try to reply as best as i can although remember I'm not going to be able to give you experience, just the research on the matter.
I hope you work something out anyway, goood luck
Mike
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Tell someone.
Tell SOMEONE.
TELL SOMEONE!
This is coming from a recovered anorexic.
I know you're scared. I know you're confused. I know you don't really know why you feel the way you do or how to stop.
Don't you think your parents have noticed your significant weight loss? Don't you think they know that you're frail and pale, and that they've noticed all of the physical and emotional changes?
It took my parents a little while to catch on when I first started, but once they did it was really helpful.
If you really think you're doing a good job hiding everything from your parents, think again.
If I really am wrong and they are completely oblivious, well.. fine, don't tell them. I don't care who you tell, but you really need to tell somebody.
Starving yourself and/or throwing up is VERY bad. Cutting yourself is awful. I've done that. I still have the scars on my arms and it's been years.. not many, but a few years have gone by and while not many people can see my scars, I know they're there and can see them.
Please tell a friend, a teacher, a guidance councilor, an aunt, uncle, sister, brother, cousin, etc. Tell someone. If you have to, write them a note. Sometimes it can be easier to get all of your thoughts and feelings out on paper because you can say what you need to say without being interrupted or without tears stopping your words from coming out.
Trust me, it's a very difficult process to go through. Knowing that you have a problem, understanding that you need to fix it, trying to find a way to fix it, and just going through that entire recovery process. I was diagnosed as anorexic in the 4th grade. That diagnosis didn't leave me until the 8th. I went 4 years being terrified of what would happen next. They said I was fully recovered when I was in 8th grade. What nobody knows is that I still have the thoughts I've always had. I still wonder how eating 2000 calories a day can be good for me. Sometimes I think I'm more self conscious now then I was back then,,, but who knows... I guess I'm better now because I don't act on it.
I'm in college now and I still talk to psychiatrists about what I went through - we have a free campus counseling center and I talk to them about how I feel and they try helping me. It's nice to have support - it lets you know that you have people backing you up and who want to see you get better and be successful.
The thoughts may not ever leave - I really don't know.
Recovery is very challenging. Or at least it was for me. I'm not going to lie to you. I am so scared to go back to where I was that I overcompensate.
But really, you can't recover on your own. Well... you could, but it's not a chance I recommend you taking.
Like I said before, I don't care if you tell your parents, but do you really think they don't notice?
And seriously, just tell somebody. It's the only way anything is going to happen. You need the support system to help you out and check on your progress, make sure you're doing okay emotionally as well as physically.
So I'm just going to leave you with this.
Tell someone.
Tell SOMEONE.
TELL SOMEONE!
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I know you dont want to tell your parents but i think you'll have to. It sounds like you're in a lot of trouble and that you really need help. Your parents have probably noticed that you've lost weight and look pale and dont eat so im guessing that they probably know something is up anyways. You should try to go see a psychiatrist. Maybe even talk to your school councilor before you talk to your parents if you're comfortable with telling him/her about that sort of stuff. But thats not a way to avoid telling your parents because im pretty sure that they're required by law to tell parents abou that sort of thing. He/she could help you find a way to tell your parents. Good luck!
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