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Why is my girlfriend so shy around me?

Question Posted Sunday September 13 2009, 3:17 am

Before you go reading all the stuff I wrote here's a quick summary. My girlfriend who I've been dating for a long time is still really shy around me and my friends and everyone else. She's kind of an airhead and I'm really smart, she thinks shes ugly but she isnt in the least.

As the title kinda says my girlfriend who I've

been dating since october 08 is still really shy

around me, ontop of every other person I know.

We're both 14 and really into eachother, we spend

like all of every day together and I love her so

much, the only problem is she's so shy around my

friends and I.

I don't want to ask her to stop being so shy (I

tried, it really upsets her), her dad bugs her

alot and she really doesnt like the fact she's so

shy but she just can't seem to get over it.

I'm not a shy person in the least, I'd go up to

someone I've never met and just spark a random

conversation and everything always ends up fine

but I dont think she seems to understand that.

She doesn't talk to ANYONE other than the few

friends she has of whom I can count on one hand.

I have more friends than I can count and we're

total opposites in that sense. I'm really smart,

and she always calls herself an airhead (which is

actually kinda true), but I try to make her feel

better about it. She also thinks for some odd

reason that she's really ugly when she isnt at

all and shes totally uncomfortable in her own

body and I dont get that because she's so pretty

I always try to be a nice guy and comfort her

when she's feeling sad and stuff and I just try

to be the best boyfriend I can be.

So can someone help me out with this?

[ Answer this question ]
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itdependsonyoux3 answered Sunday September 13 2009, 9:44 am:
Being in a relationship myself, I can understand why she would be so insecure around you. It's like this ...
She tells you all of her "flaws" or whatever before you can just realize them on your own and not like her anymore. Girls are complicated and we tend to compare ourselves to other girls and like, even though you think she is unbelieavbly pretty and all of that, she doesn't beieve it herself. Even when you re-assure her that she is, she's not going to believe you if she thinks you could have any other girl you want.
For example: me and my boyfriend. He tells me I'm beautiful and all of this stuff, but I just don't see it. Like, I'm not throwing myself a pitty party, but I don't think I'm pretty. and it's like, I always think that he's going to meet another girl someday who is prettier, smarter, and all of that and then he's gonna just fall out of love with me.
I think that's sort of what you're girlfriend is feeling. It's part of why she feels insecure. She doesn't want to mess up infront you or your friends to make you not like her anymore. Which is why she is shy. I think this situation calls for a bit more than you telling her shes pretty. You need to tell her that no matter what, you'll always love her and that you chose HER because [well, you can finish that sentence haha :)] You just have to let her know that even if you could have your pick of any girl in the world, you'd still choose her.
That will make her feel better, she needs to know that you won't leave her if she makes a fool of herself. Talk to her. communication is key.
good luck ! have fun. hope i helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to ibox me, xxo. :]

[ itdependsonyoux3's advice column | Ask itdependsonyoux3 A Question

christina answered Sunday September 13 2009, 6:39 am:
Your girlfriend is insecure, and nothing you say or do will change that. You could give her all the compliments in the world & try your hardest to make her feel good, but the joy of a compliment only lasts so long.

Since your girlfriend is insecure, it's affecting her social life. She doesn't trust people, or she's just scared of what they'll think of her. It could be a lot of different things that would be held accountable for why she is the way she is.

I think you really need to sit her down and talk with her. Ask her any questions you need to and try your best to be understanding and comforting. Reassure her as best you can. Just don't be upset with her if she remains the same.

[ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question

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