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Love triangle
This requires some background knowledge:
I live with a guy, Tim, who up until a little while ago believed he was gay. My other roommate, Susan, is best friends with me as well as Tim. This other guy, Jeremy, has liked me for 3 months now and it wasn't until about 3 weeks ago that I started returning the feelings. This guy is perfect on paper, but I wasn't attracted to him that way until I basically told myself to be and have come to actually like him.
Now for the actual dilhema that needs solving:
I was drinking socially with Tim and a friend, Nick, one night and he was joking around about the fact that Tim needed to test out his "am i gay" theory and I needed to get laid, so he suggested with get them both out of the way by having sex with eachother. Had we been completely sober I don't think I would have gone along with him, but in the past I had liked him before I found out he was gay, so I agreed to it. We are now in a very complicated situation; I am in a unofficial relationshipwith Jeremy and I had sex with Tim, who I found out the next day, that he's had feelings for me the whole time and that's why he was questioning his sexual preference. I am so lost as to what I should do! I know that I have to tell Jeremy no matter what, I'm just not sure what. Do I tell him, sorry it's not going to work, or do I just tell him I had sex with another guy and let him do what he wants about it? Do I tell him who, because he knows my roommate, or do I just say "some guy" which can sound that much worse. I know if I told him I had sex with Tim when I was drunk to test the theory, yeah it's still stupid but it's better, and he might forgive me. The thing is, I don't know if I want him to.. and that tells me that I'm not sure what I want and that I should end it now rather than later so I don't hurt him more than I already am going to. To make all this worse, my best friend Susan was dissapointed when we told her we had sex, but she was more pissed off about the prospect of us dating. She immediately said she would move out the moment we decided to date. Yet, she says she will be in an awkward position whether we date, or whether we want to but don't for her sake. I have so many important and vital decisions to make, that will change everything, I just don't know what to do.
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I'm sure it's really hard for you, I totally get it but all you can do is ask yourself. No one else can help you now and I'm sure you know that too. Just don't lie to your friends because it will hurt them even deeper than the truth when they find out. All I can say is good luck. Hope it goes fine.
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The first thing you should do is figure out who you want to be with more. Once you do that you need to tell Jeremy what happened. Either you tell him you made a big mistake or you tell him your into another guy. As for you Room Mate yea it would be awkward for her to live there but a lot of people do it. I would just keep the PDA down to a minimum around her so she doesn't feel that way. The only thing you have control over in this situation is which guy you want to be with the other decisions are up to everyone else. If you choose to be with Jeremy it is going to be his decision whether he stays with you. If you want to be with Tim than its up to Susan whether or not she is still going to be your room mate. So make the best choice for you and hope for the best.
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Wow young lass, you're in quite dilemma!
At least, what my advice is here is pretty straight forward- follow your heart,how do you feel right now? Think, do want to be with Tim? Do you think you'll really like Jeremy-or are you just forcing yourself to? Trust me, you won't be happy if you're doing that, if there's a spark its there, and if it isn't - it isn't. I don't think it'd be fair to Jeremy if you still go for him now anyways, seeing as you're hearts somewhere else. And that's all you really have to tell him, just say "I'm so sorry Jeremy.. but i really can only picture you as a friend, my hearts somewhere else right now =/" It'll be hard, but it'll work out in the long run for both you and him. If its unofficial, between you two, its better to break it off before things get too serious.If he asks who, well, he's going to find out eventually, might as well just tell him. But if he doesn't ask- what's the point of telling him,you know? This is just a random thought but if it's possible, maybe you could try getting Susan and Jeremy together? That way Susan might not be so mad about you and Tim,and Jeremy could start to move on from you. Only if its in the realm of possibility :P,worth a try..maybe? haha! Anywho, as for Susan, it really isn't her decision as to if you do date Tim or not-of course. I'd try talking to her about it-why is she mad ? Maybe you guys could come up with a compromise, in all honesty, i think if you do decide to date it's better to just date rather than be in that awkward situation. Let her know nothings going to change and whatever scenario she thinks might happen won't. She's your best friend, hopefully she'll understand and trust that you wouldn't do anything to make her feel uncomfortable in anyway when you two are dating and living under the same roof. Everything's really up in the air now, and it'll be hectic for a bit but you can get through it,things will be going smoothly soon,don't worry too much !
I hope I helped some :D!
xkisakissx
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