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I cant make friends in college
I am a freshman a big state school, over 40,000 people.
But the problem is that i cant seem to find friends.
I read the book "the naked roommate" and i have read many tips and i have tried them.
During the first couple of days it was extremely easy to follow those tips, simply because everyone was in the same situation- no friends. I met a lot of new people, and i was very open minded, i would start a conversation with anyone in range, and would sit with random people to eat with.
But now it has been over a week and things seem to be changing.
Groups are being formed, close friendships are starting to develop, relationships and so on...
But yet i still feel like im on the same boat as i was the first day; no friends.
And its worse now, because everyone has friends, so its harder to strive new conversations, and to sit with random people.
At first, we would have a lot of activities where i would meet a lot of people, and now my floor/hall barely does anything, so the opportunities are narrowed down.
The first couple of days i would meet a lot of new people, and even got some of their numbers, but when i saw them later they wouldnt even say hello or acknowledge that i was there.
It seems like i get peoples numbers, and meet new people...but they already made friends, and a lot of people that i feel im starting a friendship with i later see walking by with other friends and groups.
I am always alone, walking to class alone, hanging out in my dorm alone, and even eating alone. It is now very hard to sit with random people because they are already with their groups and friends and when i try it, its like i barely get a conversation because the friends or group just talk.
I am getting tired of being alone...and i wasnt always like this.
In highschool i had many friends eventhough i was only at that high school for two years. People would invite me places, and here its like they dont even bother to send a text or invite me anywhere.
I have gone to a couple of frat parties and meet people and later text them/or see them and eat with them...but things just end there.
Its getting kind of depressing to always being alone and seeing so many people being happy with friends and enjoying college.
I have joined two clubs but it isnt helping very much.
What should i do?
thanks
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You've done the right thing by joining clubs. Its a great way to meet people with similar interests. Give it some time! You haven't been there very long. I promise, you will find some kindred spirits, you just have to be patient. Also, ask yourself if you're trying too hard. Sometimes people can be put off by someone who seems like they are desperate for friends or conversation. It sounds silly, I know, but just be yourself. You don't need to try too hard. Friendships will develop on their own. They'll come from just getting to know people through study group or in your dorm or in your clubs. It takes time to get to know people. It may seem like others have made friends easily, but its not like that for everyone. And those friendships you see right now are still just superficial, those people are just getting to really know each other. Don't be so hard on yourself. I promise, it will happen for you, but just be patient. Just keep doing your thing, stay friendly and keep getting involved in things you like to do. The friends will come to you. Good luck!
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alright, you should just know that theres nothing wrong with you. you not having friends has nothing to do with you or anything you say and do. you seem like a sweet girl its the rest of the world thats being stupid.
what id do is get to know one person who you really click with who you really bond with. its good to know people but its not enough to be moving from person to person.
it would help if you got to know one girl thats in all your classes and start off having lunch with her/him then ask her what shes doing in the weekend and if she wanted to hang out etc. become her friend and then soon friends will come rolling it starts with only one person to have friends.
just be yourself and dont feel shy to not stir up a converstation with her friends, be herlpful and considerate ask them questions because everyone likes to talk about themselves.
just dont loose hope that you wont find friends because you will!keep going
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