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crisis
im 15/m
my parents divorced about 3 years ago.
ever since then, me and my older brother had been living with my mom. my dad moved into a condo 5 minutes away.
but not i just started living with my dad while my brother is still living with my mom. but my dad has a new gf that my mom doesnt know about. me and my brother know, but my mom never knew. its almost been a year already.
then yesterday, my bro and my dad had an argument and my bro told my mom everything about my dads gf and how shes been living with us.
she was crushed. everybodys crying especially my mom and i dont know what to do. my dad and bro hate each other and now my mom hates me because she feels like i betrayed her by not telling her all this time. my dad is quiet right now. also me and my bro arent speaking either. everythings going to shit and i dont know what to do.
Please help me.
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Hey-
I'm sorry to hear about that.
About your brother:
Siblings fight all the time. (Trust me I'm one of five.) I'm sure you and your brother will make up in time.
About your mother:
She is just very angry and upset. She doesn't mean what she says, and she will always love you.
About your dad & brother:
They don't hate each other either. Everyone in your family is just upset. You're family, and you will get through this.
Right now, all I think youc an do is wait for the flames to die down. Then, talk to your mom and brother about how you feel, and what you think you can do about it. You, your brother and your dad can all discuss this too.
Good Luck :)
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Okay all you can do right now is pray about it. What goes on between your dad and mom is their deal, not yours. I understand that you care and worry about them but, but all you can do right now is keep your distance and try not to be in the middle of it. My parents are divorced to and they both have new loved ones. it's hard, and your mom will understand one of these days. If your brother isn't taalking to you, you should right him a letter about how you feel. I hope i helped. I'm always here for you.
Your friend, lulabell aka lulu
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what your dad and mum having going on has nothing to do with you. you should be having fun with your friends not dealing with this.
your mum doesnt mean the things she says to you. she speaks out of anger. she was married to the love of her life and now shes crushed because that man she loved so much is loving someone else so please please understand where shes coming from.
id start with an apology. right now your all shes has. your brother must of blew the situation waaay out of proportion and made it sound worse than it already is. your father didnt want to hurt your mother so please dont blame him either.
again begin with an apology, buy her some flowers because mothers love that sort of stuff even take her out to breakfast ask her to hang out with you, go watch a movie. she reaaallly needs you right now more than you think. even if shes mad at you its only because your weaker and its easy to be angry at you.
bond with her shes lonely and just found out the man she once wanted to spend the rest of her life with has devorced her and is living with someone else. he moved on a long time ago while she was still holding back...dont blame her for her anger instead join her and try helping her overcome it
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Apologize, sincerely and deeply for keeping this from your mother.
Forgive your brother for acting impulsively in anger.
Realize that your father had no right to put you and your brother in this position in the first place, and the current misery is of his making.
Then back out of it.
It was wrong of your father to keep this from your mother, she has a right to know who is living in a household with her minor children, and it was disgustingly and totally wrong for him to have put you and your brother in the position of having to lie for him. There is just no excuse for that. He’s the adult here, and he screwed up royally.
So apologize to your mom, try to find some peace between you and your brother and without hating him, acknowledge that the blame in this situation falls to your Dad. He screwed up. Next time you speak to him feel free to tell him the cost his selfishness has had for you.
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