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two blows in one day. (kind of long, sorry!)
f/16
So last night, this guy that I've liked for a few weeks rejected me. When we first started talking, it was great because the two of us would have actual conversations with detailed answers and questions. But overtime he begin to lose interest in talking and his answers got shorter to the point of one word messages.
Originally, we were going to make plans to hang out and go the movies. But last night I was trying to talk to him online, and I mentioned that I'd still like to make plans to hang out. He said that his mom wouldn't let him leave the house until his summer work was done (my mom made the same rule)so I said maybe once school started and said yeah maybe. Then, sensing some tension I said that he could just say no if he didn't want to. So he responded with...
"No, I dont not want to." Confused by this answer, I asked what did he mean. After a few minutes, he finally answered...
"I think you want to hang out with me more than I want to hang out with you." Shocked, I said...
"I don't get it. Don't you wanna be friends?" And he replied....
"No I do, but I think you wanna be more than friends." I was kind of upset, so I didnt say anything for a couple minutes until finally I replied...
"Well I don't really know what to say. I guess I'm sorry." And then he said...
"Its ok. I've just been thinking about it and I thought I should tell you sooner than later." Then I said...
"Thanks for that. I hope we can still be friends." And he said...
"Yeah." Out of curiosity I asked...
"Is there someone else you like? Is that why you're not interested?" And he said...
"Yeah there is this girl I've liked for a while."
Then I asked him about it and he went on to tell me that they had previously been together a few months before, but she ended it by telling him that she didn't think she liked him anymore. But he told me that he thinks they will eventually probably get back together and that now they are one of each others best friends.
So...I'm just confused. If the girl told him that she didn't think she liked him anymore, why does he think they will get back together? I just really wanna tell him that he shouldn't wait for something that might not happen, you know? Take advantage of the opportunities in front of you now (aka me). At least hang out with me and give me a chance. We met in a film acting class and only got to know each other a little bit through that. Whats your view on this situation?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, put it this way ...
You know how he basically said he doesn't like you in the way you like him ? but you're thinking there might still be a chance, it's the same way he's feeling about the girl he likes. Even though there might be a slim chance she might like him the way he likes her, there's still hope, and he wants to give it another shot.
Let's face it, when your heart is set on someone, even if their heart isnt set on you ... you're gong to try to change that. Because it's what you WANT. I know it sucks, but you can't force him to like you or give you a try. I think right now, he just needs you as a friend more than anything.
With my boyfriend, before we got together, we were friends and than we became best friends. I wanted him even though he had a girlfriend when we were friends/best friends. I was there for him and in the end, he broke up with her to be with me. Yeah, he had his heart set on her but that can always change. you can change it by just being his friend for now.
Sometimes just being his friend will help you out in the long run. Because love is friendship sent on fire :] haha at least that's how I look at it. and even he said it himself, that they will probably eventually get back together because they used to be friends but now they are BEST FRIENDS. get it ? he's more of the guy to fall for the girl who's his really good friend, rather than one who's not, yuh know ?
You could be that girl, you just have to be there for him and stick it out, even though it's hard knowing he likes someone else. I'm telling you, if you guys become close, as in best friends, he'll consider having a relationship with you at some point, I promise.
At least he had the decency to not lead you on.. but you should definetly hang out with him as friends still. just hang out with him and talk to him as much as possible, don't act like his affection for another girl is affecting you or that will just push him away and you need to get closer to him. these things take time, so give it some and i guarentee it'll work out great :] !
don't give up ! if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me, good luck ! hope i helped, xxo.
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He's just not that into you.
Not right now anyways, and he's been honest and respectful enough to let you know there isn't much hope that he'd become more into you in the future.
A bit of advice for the rest of your romantic life:
Just giving someone a chance is never a good idea.
It's never worked out well for me. I've never seen it work out well for anyone else either.
Rationally, there is no reason it would.
Giving someone a chance means going against your gut instinct and trying to force a spark where one doesn't exist. It raises the expectation of the other person and leads them to believe there might be actual potential, when there really isn't. It's basically hoping that you can 'fake it, till ya make it' and that's not a good approach to a love life. That’s asking for confusion, guilt and wounded hearts.
If you are ever disinclined to date someone, don’t give them a chance. Kindly and respectfully be honest about just not being into them like that.
If anyone every says they’d be willing to just ‘give you a chance’, screw up your courage and self-worth and say “Look, if you aren’t any more interested in me then just doing me the favour of giving me a chance, then let’s call the whole thing off. I need and deserve more than that from a romantic interest.”
Because you do. You need and deserve more than that. So does he.
Respect his choice, even if you think his reasons are faulty. Just because he and this other girl probably wont get another chance, doesn't mean it would be a good idea for him to give you one.
Take a deep breath. Deal with your disapointment, and try to develop a friendship with him (if you want one).
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