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Stuck In This Relationship!
I've been dating my boyfriend for 7 months now.
I feel like I shouldn't be in this relationship at all anymore. He's always so clingy. Like I have to be at his house every night and if I'm not by a certain time he starts freaking out calling and texting like crazy..And if I tell him one night "hey I just want to sleep at home tonight" he freaks out like "why?? you act like it's so horrible coming over here".....well YEAH it is because all my stuff is at home and everything I have to do in my life and take care of is at MY HOUSE. Sometimes I just want my space and I don't want to sleep in your bed where you want to cuddle and cuddle until I can't breathe and I can't sleep with someone on top of me.
I can't hang out with my friends anymore and I hate it I feel like I have no life anymore. And I've tried telling him this and he freaked out he was like "Well wtf now I'm not a part of your life?? Fine well if you'd rather hang out with your friends then whatever" and he always talks about how he's not just a stepping stone and whatever and he talks like he thinks we're going to be together forever....when I don't want to be! Even if these problems didn't exist I'm 20 years old I'm not trying to get married I'm young I want to have fun and live my life not be tied down to some psycho!
Also he does this whiny high pitched voice all the time and I know it's just him trying to be cute but it bugs the hell out of me. I can't stand it. You're a man act like a man not like a little girl....it's not attractive....and on that note I'm not physically attracted to him at all...when we first started dating I was attracted to him because we had fun together...but now all he wants me to do is after work shower and come over just so we can sit around and watch tv until we go to bed....and then he has the nerve to ask me why I never dress up for him anymore....(DUHH BECAUSE WE NEVER GO ANYWHERE!! I'm not gonna dress up to sit on your couch!)
So that attraction I had for him is now gone and I'm left with somebody that I don't want to be with....
I made the mistake of telling him I loved him when I wasn't really in love. He kept saying it and saying it and I kind of felt obligated.....well now I don't mean it and every time he says it if I don't say it back he freaks out like "what you don't love me???" I just want to be done with it.
And on top of all this I'm going back to college in two weeks and I'm not going to have time for him....but he's still acting like he's gonna want me to come over every night and I don't even WANT to have time for him.
I just want to be done with this relationship but I don't know how. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't want to sugarcoat it so that it seems like we're gonna get back together, because I don't want to...and he has anxiety attacks and every time I get mad at him he has one and once I got so mad that I just left his house and he got REALLY angry started kicking his car and screaming and yelling then sent me like 100 text messages about it.
I just know he's going to freak out and get super pissed and I don't know what to do please help me.
I need advice on what to say and how to bring it up. Should I blame it on school? I'm still going to be working while going to school so I really wont have extra time to deal with his needs.
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i dont really see how your STUCK in the relationship. did he chain you to his ankle? no. sure hes really clingy. blame it on school, or tell him how you really feel. he sounds like a pansy so i think your gonna hurt his feelings either way, but telling him how you really feel would probably get him off your back for good. in fact, just show him this question you posted. i think that would get your message accross. but no matter what, ditch him. dude sounds like a physco.
kyle
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You have to tell him straight up (but nicely) that you're just not into the relationship anymore. There is no way to do it without hurting his feelings. But you need to be honest, and I wouldn't even give him the chance to respond.
Just tell him it's over and then leave.
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I had the EXACT SAME PROBLEM! Minus the anxiety attacks(he just had anger management problems LOL.)
So here is what I would say/said.
(Bob) We need to talk(or however you want to start it) I care about you a lot and I use to have a lot of fun with you. But lately I feel like we're on two very different paths. I feel as if all you want is someone beside you and to find the love of your life. Right now I'm not ready for that kind of a commitment. I'm not that mature yet.(This always makes them feel better even though it's way not true! haha) I want to go out and have fun and I think I need to get to know myself more before I can promise you anything. I'm still figuring out what I want to do and who I want to be. There's also the fact that we're going to different colleges. I also don't appreciate it when you constantly get angry at me for wanting to be with other people. I can't stay with you all the time. It's not because I don't want to be with you but it's just because I'm quite an independent person and sometimes I just need to be with other people to clear my head and get some space. I wish I was still attracted to you but I don't want to lie to you anymore. I feel stuck in this relationship and it's not your fault so I'm sorry it has to affect you. Please understand that this is just not going to work anymore and that it won't work anymore in the future. I'm just a different person than who I use to be and I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep changing. I'l always appreciate how much you cared for me and all you did but this is the end of our relationship. I hope you find someone who is willing to settle down and just be with you and love you all the time but I can't do that. I just want to go out and see what the world has to offer. And then end it however you want? I hope this is ok? This is pretty much what I said and although at first he was pissed he never did have a hissy fit like he use to.
Goodluck :/
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well wow thats the most clingy iv ever herd of..sounds like he reeeally reaaallly likes you like over the top. ok so you for sure want out of this relationship?then my advice to you is you dont go to his house when you want to break up with him..take him to a public place maybe like a cafe or a park. sit him down and make sure that your really calm about it, no matter how angry he gets stay calm and just be fully honest with him tell him that you dont feel the same anymore and you think its best to go seperate ways because theres nothing here for you.tell him your sorry for doing it but youd hurt him even more if you lead him on pretending to be happy.give him the ful explanation so that he doesnt keep asking questions then walk away dont give him a chance to tell you that hell make things better that hell change because hell trick you in staying with him just say look im sorry and walk away. itd probibly be best if you changed your number or if he txts you delete his txts without reading them itll make things easier that way...good luck break ups are never easy no matter how you go abouts doing it
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