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am i being pushy, or is it his fault?
Okay well I have been dating this guy for about a year and six months. He used to pay attention to me but now it's basically all going to his friends. For examples, he went to the beach with this guy for a week, and I told him I didn't want him to go and he said (word for word) I don't care, I am going anyway. So then he goes to his friends house and when we talk it's like for two seconds. Even when he is not with his friends he will be like I have to go eat, and I will say will you call me after you eat, and he said I don't know, maybe. So then when we argue, he is always like WHATEVER I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, YOU PICK AN ARGUMENT OUT OF NOTHING. And then he always says I keep him on lockdown and I said I do not, I let you go anywhere you want to go. And he said, if I got to go anywhere I wanted to go, I would be gone everyday. And I told him we would never get to talk if he did that. He just acts like he never cares about me anymore. And also, whenever we argue he never says sorry unless I say something like, wow thanks for your apology, or stuff like that. It seems like his friends are way more important to him than I will ever be, and its making me lose my feelings for him. What do I do? Is it my fault?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think it's about equal on both sides here.
What YOU need to know, is that guys don't require nearly as much attention as girls. And as the relationship goes on longer, the need to talk to you every minute of every day disappears, but that's NOT a bad thing. But girls, we DO require a lot of attention and guys don't get that.
That being said, I think you should stop bothering him about spending time with his friends. You need to let him have his time and you can have yours. Sure, you should (obviously) also be spending time together, but don't freak out just because he goes out.
But it's also his fault because he SHOULD be giving you time and he SHOULD be sorry when he upsets you. This is something you need to talk to him about and that HE needs to change.
Long story short: Relationships are give and take. Talk to him, apologize for all the fighting, and just tell him how you're feeling. Just don't make it into some huge argument like it sounds like you two normally do.
-Laura (17-f)
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its not necessarily your fault, in this case, the two of you are just really not right for eachother. I know tha may be hard to hear, but he seems to be in his, "party boy, batchelor" modes, and you seem to be much more mature and ready for a real steady and commited relationship.
honestly, when you find the right guy, he will be on your level, and will respect you and will want to be around you, and not put his friends before you...
Just be honest with yourself and come to terms with the fact that he is immature and will not change any time soon. Once you realize this things will become easier and you can start the necessary steps to move on.
by all means DONT STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP that makes you miserable. you deserve better than that!!!!
hope this helps! email me if you want to talk about it more. =]
stephanie.ellick@gmail.com
steph 21
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Well, yes. It is partly your fault really: You keep trying to make him change, when it's obvious he isn't going too.
You aren't a bad person or anything, but clearly you aren't going to get what you want from this guy, so why keep on badgering him?
By now you know absolutely that you two have a different idea of what a 'relationship' entails. Either you can change what you think you need and deserve from him or you can dump him (or, you could keep complaining and agruing with one another, if you really wanted to do that). No amount of nagging and pushing will make him change his mind or change his idea of what you need from him, so you can really only control if you stay or go.
If you two can't give one another what you each need, break up.
If you have lost your affection for him, break up.
Things don't have to be completely horrible for you to decide to end it. Sometimes, two people just don't work out. That's okay. The best thing to do is to part ways respectfully, before you get too angry and resentful to be civil about it.
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