|
How do I tell him no?
Okay so I'm a 16 year old girl, and my boyfriend (17) and I have been going out for like a year now. I'm crazy about him, but theres one problem. He really wants to have sex and I don't. He knows that I want to wait for marriage but he can't understand why... I've tried to explain that its what I believe, and that its what I want, and also that I think I'm too young and not ready, but he just doesn't get it. Its not like hes pressuring me or anything, but I really want to know how I can make him understand how I feel. Thanks!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Stop trying to explain.
If I think that chocolate chip mint is the best ice cream flavour, and you think it's strawberry, no amount of talking is going to make you prefectly understand my perference. You might awknowledge it. You might respect it. But you'll never totally understand why I don't see it your way.
The exact same thing is happening here.
Instead of trying to make him understand (and by understanding, we are always implying that we want the other person to feel the same as us too!) just say this:
"I've explained myself as best as I can. I think you are just going to have to respect that this is my choice, even if you don't quite understand it."
When someone makes a personal decision, for reasons that are purely thier own, it will never be possible to make someone else understand, or feel the same way they feel.
It's not important he 'understand' or 'feel the same'. It's important he respects it and realizes you've made a decision that will not be changing.
]
Honestly, you csnt make someone with no morals understand.
The easiest thing to do would be to sit him down nd say
"Look. It's my body. My belief. You don't need to understand it. You just need to obay it and respect it."
]
Put it this way if he doesn't understand your needs and wants and wants it his way,what's the point being with him? not trying to scare you or anything but make sure he doesn't cheat or anything i guess all you can do is honestly talk to him and just explain to him why and just say i believe in sex after marriage and i don't play on loosing it earlier i'm sorry,but i guess you's can do other things to pleasure eachother besides sex but that'll help there's dry sex so you can try that.
]
Tell him no. No means no. You've explained yourself, and honestly, I don't see that he deserves any further explanation.
He's trying to get you to doubt yourself so that you'll end up agreeing to sex.
Stand by your choice. Good for you.
--Jack
(17/m)
]
More Questions: |