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friendship boundries and crossing the line..
Firts things first, I would like to emphasize the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.. You can love your best friend, no matter the gender, but you can be in love with someone of the opposite gender.
In this case, for me it's the same person. I won't go as far as saying I am in love with him, but I do love him and I have non-platonic feelings for him aka I like him as more than a friend.
I am left with the ever so popular dilhema of deciding whether or not to act upon my feelings and impulses, and telling him or showing him that I like him more than he thinks. I currently have no idea how he feels towards me, we have only ben friends for little under a year now, yet a friendship that grew over time.
I am not expecting you to tell me what to do because you know neither of us, I just need advice on where to start, and perhaps how as well. Think of a hypothetical situation, and give it your best. Thanks in advance =]
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I can't lay it out any better than Laura did, so I'll just throw my support on the "give him hints" bandwagon.
Guys in general develop friendships with girls who have the same qualities we look for in dating. If we're close with a girl, theres a good chance that theres a latent interest there somewhere, even if its buried.
Flirt a little, smile at him, tease him and make physical contact with him. See where it leads you. If all else fails, ask him out yourself and see what response you get.
Just don't fall in love before you get to that point. Its easier to go back to just being friends if he's not interested and you aren't in love or anything.
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If I were you and I wasn't so self conscious and so pessimistic about my love life, I would act upon my feelings. You said think of a hypothetical situation? So here it goes:
Let's say I'm in love with my best friend (who is a guy, so this works well) and I'm confident enough to let him know. I would start by dropping little hints.
1. Giving him compliments. Telling him he looks nice today, or that I've never noticed before, but he has a gorgeous smile, etc. Just making him feel good about himself, because that's a sure way to win somebody's heart.
2. Then, I'd continue to show interest. Text him just to say "Good Morning!", ask him how his day went, find out how he's feeling, etc. Let him know that I'm interested in what he has to say, what's going on with him, and how he's feeling.
3. Next, (as pathetic as this sounds), I'd drop more hints. Something I've found most girls our age do ALL the time, is make it completely obvious by using Facebook/Twitter/etc. When you're filling out surveys, put semi obvious answers. When you update your Twitter, put love song lyrics. I'm the queen of this, so if you need help on it, let me know XD
4. Finally, I'd just go for it. I would tell him that I like him. Now, I'm not saying flat out say "I like you!" (but you could do that if that's what you're into!), but maybe say something like, "Listen, I don't want things to be weird between us, but I really like you. We get along to well and I think we should try taking our relationship to the next level. Would you be into that?"
I hope this helps? Haha! Good luck! :)
-Laura (17-f)
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Well if your certain of your feelings toward him, then why not express them to him. He may already sense it, idk, but if you don't say anything.. you might regret it. Although I understand trying to save a friendship in the end. Just see how he feels and how you feel about him and see what happens, why not? Hope it works out for you and if you have any other questions let me know :]
- Lacey
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