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Advice for a doormat who got bullied by the help
I have a "weak personality" as my parents have asked me to change. I get bullied and manipulated easily. In a group of friends, I easily turn into a butt of all jokes. I'm easy. I'm too nice, laid-back, and not very confrontational unless pushed too far.
I'm so weak that I even let a bitchy illegal female servant (under the employment of my aunt and the subject of my anger towards myself) boss me around and got me into trouble for 2 years. Until she got what she deserved when she got caught by immigration.
After her arrest last week, I figured it was the last straw for me. During those 2 years I couldn't fight her. She was illegal and under the employ of a relative. If I reported her, she would've backfired and told the police about my aunt on hiring her. My loving aunt could be jailed for that. Oftentimes I've thought of exacting revenge on that bitchy servant. However, I never had the balls to go to the immigration police because the bitchy servant has a deaf-mute son to feed back in her country. I didn't want her son to suffer from my petty anger. But why is it that it's still gnawing at me; I should've known how to stand up for myself.
I always use karma as an excuse to not be confrontational. But why does it feel like I'm wronging myself.
I want to be a bitch, someone who's tough and knows when to be mean. I don't want to be easy.
Whenever I tried being mean and confrontational, I feel guilty and I can't sleep at night knowing I hurt someone's feelings, even if they wronged me first.
How does one become a calloused, mean, bloodsucking bitch?
Does it mean that just because someone is nice and non-confrontational, then that person is a doormat?
*I apologize for the adjectives I used. I'm just angry today. :(
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first off, you do NOT need to be a bitch in order to stand up for yourself. if someone is bullying you, or threatening you in any way, shape, or form. you have a right to defend yourself in the way you think is best, considering all circumstances, mind you. being nice is always such a pleasing thing to do, but you shouldn't let yourself always be walked on. i'm sorry to hear that your friends often use you as the butt of their jokes. if it bothers you, you really should speak up about it otherwise they're never going to know it bothers you. nice people do finish last because they don't let themselves be heard. by no means whatsoever do you need to be a total 'blood sucking bitch' to get people to respect you and to fend for yourself. and you shouldn't always be a total bitch, because then you're just stooping to the levels of the people that always wronged you before hand. if you've seen or felt what it's like, why would you do it onto others, right?
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Standing up for yourself does not make you a "bitch". Having to say no to people and take action is all a part of growing up. It's not like you do so-called "mean things" purpose just to spite her. You are worried for your aunt. There is no malicious intent behind your actions. It's not doing anyone any favors to just sit on the sidelines of your own life, watching it pass by if you don't speak up. If you think about it, every situation is basically a compromise anyway. Someone is bound to reap more of the benefits than the other. It's a good thing for you to realize now. You need to "man up", so to speak, to get the most out of your life.
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i know how you feel, i was very like you in highschool
instead of being a "bitch" think of it as being tough
next time someone says something rude to you, dont cringe and shy away like a dog with its tail between its legs, say,
i dont give a shit what you think. who are you?
and walk away. just stand up for yourself and people will stop picking on you.
as far as your friends go, i would say to get some new friends. if you have told them how you feel and they still dont change, they arent good friends anyways.
the only person who should control your feelings is YOU.
=] keep ur chin up. if you need to talk, inbox me anytime!
steph 21
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