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Unrequited love with a gay guy?
I'm 17/female and it may seem mildly out of the ordinary for a site like this, anyway, I have been struggling with falling in love with this guy who is probably gay that I see maybe two or three times a year. I think about him on a daily basis and creep on his facebook and twitter. He's 25.
I know it's probably my naivety shining through, but it has been two years since I first met him and I have had feelings for him every single day.
I haven't had a real relationship - ever, not counting the stupid things I did back in junior high. Guys don't particularly like me, I never make moves at all, and I always end up being friends.
Help!! :\
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He's gay. And 25.
If at all possible, block his pages and ignore his posts. You are feeding into an unhealthy substitute crush.
You know it's impossible, so it's safe.
It can never happen, so you can never be rejected.
You hardly even know him, so you'll never need to take any of the real risks involved in actual relationships.
The first step to stopping the obsession is to stop the online stalking.
The second step is to take a deep breath, and start working on any problems you think you've got.
He is nothing but a convenient distraction that keeps you occupied and away from dealing with your own shit. So long as you are clinging to an impossibility, there is no reason at all for you to change and grow and take a few romantic risks with other people.
And you are seventeen, if you aren't changing, growing and taking some risks now, you might never get around too it.
At seventeen, you've had maybethree years of your life so far where you were even sort of capable of being in a 'real relationship'. (That's a big part of what everyone does stupid things in junior high. Those relationships are just elaborate dress rehearsals.) So this is far from a drought or a serious personal problem: Maybe you aren't quite ready. Maybe you just haven't met anyone who really appeals to you yet.
Whatever the reason, if you need a 'distraction' from the fact you don't currently have a love-life, learn to bake, or knit. Take a class after school or join a club. It's a much healthier way to deal then swooning over someone you barely know (especially when you don't even have the equipment they are interested in), and things like that turn you into a more interesting and confident person when you do met someone who is actually available.
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Eight Years is a big differense on alot of levels when dating, or even friendship! He has experienced things you havn't and your not on the same thinking, or maturity level. You hardly ever see him.
It sounds like your just in love with being in love, or the idea of it anyways. So keep this guy on your friends list and drop him from love intrest! As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea! And it just so happens you havn't been caught yet.
Keep searching and you'll find mr. right or whatever. This just doesn't seam like the guy to be it.
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hey there,
I agree with cux,the unforunate thing is and you have to face the fact that he is gay,you cant change someones sexuality.
there are millions of other guys out there you have to be brave and put yourself out there dont wait for them to come to you,alot of them are worried about making the first move too.
be fun outgoing and flirty =)
go places with your friends where you can potentialy meet guys,im sure youve got great qualities and guys will like you!
you just have to show them how amazing you are :)
dont stress too much over this gay guy,theres not much you can do only move on youl find a guy right for you concentrate on going out and having fun and thats when youl least expect it one will come along
hope I helped
Much <3
Jess
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If he's gay, it's probably not worth the effort; you'll just end up hurt.
There's a guy out there who will like you for everything you are. Go out to public places and try to meet people.
--Jack
(17/m)
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