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Getting Hard


Question Posted Sunday July 26 2009, 9:34 pm

Every time my boyfriend and i want to have sex he seems to not be able to get hard. I think it's because he masturbates earlier during the day and then when we try it doesn't work. It gets hard when i give him a blow job but as soon as I stop sucking he gets soft again. We have even tried different positions and everything , and then goes on to blame it on me accidentally biting it once earlier . I don't know what I'm doing wrong if i am. And it isn't as though our sex life is old because we have never had sex. He seems to be addicted to masturbating and doesn't seem to go long before doing it again.
What could be the problem? Any tips would be appreciated.

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sammerlysate answered Sunday August 23 2009, 3:22 am:
There are many psychological reasons why this could happen:
He may not be ready to have sex with you (too soon), he may not feel safe emotionally, anxiety about pregnancy or other issues, trust issues, nervousness, he may not be sexually attracted to you (men are visual; try leaving the lights on). There may not enough body contact during sex (some positions maximize skin on skin contact, like side by side sex vs. doggy style).
My last girlfriend wanted to have sex before I was ready, so I had a similar experience. Once I felt ready (a few weeks after she wanted to), though, we had ALOT of sex. I hope this helped.

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solidadvice4teens answered Monday July 27 2009, 5:12 pm:
Perhaps it is a mental block or nerves that cause him to lose an erection making sex impossible. He could be concerned about getting you pregnant, hurt or anything irrational.

It could also be medical with medication causing him to lose it. I think that one can be ruled out if he has no trouble with it alone. You can ask him to refrain from masturbation and see what happens when you initiate intercourse.

The other thing you can do if 18+ is visit an adult's only novelty shop and pick up small plastic rings that tighten around the penis to trap blood in for those who can't maintain an erection. It might be a cheap way to nip this problem in the bud. The staff will know exactly what product it is. It's got a vulgar name unfortunately that can be repeated here.

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ohitscassidy answered Monday July 27 2009, 10:55 am:
when your giving him a blow job, just try not to bite. And if he is addicted to masturbating then your not doing anything wrong and there really isn't anything you can do, i know that if you were having sex with him then im sure it wont go soft, it's sex. But blow jobs and hand jobs only last so long unless you give him a full one, ask him not to masturbate that day and then when you see him and your giving him a hand job or blow job try to do it until he comes.

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