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Guys and respecttt
So here goes...
I asked a guy out and he said no because he had a girlfriend, and he said he would hit me up when he was single, so he did thatt and we hung outt....long story short...we hung outt for a lil bit and he suggested sex, and I said no for an hour and a half, and then we had sexx. now I don't know what to doo...should I leave it alone until he talkes to me...and do guys lose respect for a girl after he sleeps with him....or whatt? Whats your take on itttt!?!?
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Dear "Guys and respecttt"
Well, I honestly agree with Christina?. I mean I'm so sorry that happened but you have to look at it this way. If you weren't respecting yourself when you gave into him, how could you except him to? I mean you can't respect someone who doesn't respect themselves. It just doesn't work that way. That being said, I think you should just forget about him. He obviously doesn't bring out the best in you, and it kind of looks to me that he was using you just for sex, and also as a rebound. Soooo... He's not exactly what I would call a classy dude. Sorry babe.
Goodluck!
xoxo
LoLLiPoP
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I doubt he had respect for you in the first place, sweetheart.
You should have kicked him out when he tried asking for more than ten minutes straight, much less an hour and a half.
Guys work by logic, and logic creates efficiency. Logically, if you can get laid with little to no effort (and asking for an hour and a half definitely counts as little to no effort) then they will, and if getting laid requires that little effort they will not put in more than is required.
When guys are adult men, this can and does often change, some guys are capable of sleeping with a girl quickly and then turning it into a relationship. This usually happens when you go out on a date or two and sleep together quickly while still going through the dating process.
It does not happen, ever, when a guy has a girlfriend and asks you for sex.
It should be noted, teenaged boys very, very often do not have the maturity to see past possible sex to anything more, or don't have the maturity to give a shit if there is something more.
There will more than likely never, ever come a time where sleeping with someone generates a relationship. If it happens, you won't have been able to predict it, it will be a shot of pure coincidence and nothing more. You can't sleep with someone without having dated them and know for sure they'll want you for more than sex when you wake up in the morning.
Or, as the old cliche goes, the three biggest lies men tell are "No, you don't look fat", "The check is in the mail" and "Ill still love you in the morning"
I'm sorry you got quite literally fucked over. Learn from it. Guys, especially guys who want to sleep with a 14 year old, will not go any further for sex than they have to.
Requiring more means that alot of guys will lose interest. Be prepared for that, teenagers are the most stupid people on the face of the planet as a single social group. Thanks to the current generation of parents, kids are being exposed to sex younger and younger and not being taught how to deal with or understand what they're seeing. Teens think that by imitating adults and having sex and that because they have the physical ability to have sex that they're adults and they can handle it.
You just got your first lesson disproving that bullshit. Look at this guy. He's got a girlfriend, but he just asked for sex constantly and you gave it up.
Sex and relationships aren't supposed to work like that, but at 14 you don't know that. You hadn't been taught the question you're asking now. And honestly, you shouldn't have to be learning that guys who sleep with you when they aren't dating you and haven't even expressed a desire to do so don't actually give a shit about you at your age.
The world is fucked that you were put in that situation, but now that your parents have fallen down on the job and you've gotten screwed over, its time for some self learning and self education.
Do not have sex with a guy who you are not actively dating. Do not have sex with a guy before you've been dating him for a few months absolute bare minimum. You've already entered the world of sex, now its time to learn to control yourself.
You should need to see interest in you. How do you tell?
Does the guy pay attention to and remember what you say? Does the guy ask you questions about yourself or do nothing but talk about himself? Does the guy bring up sex every time you're around each other or will he respect when you tell him "now isn't the time" and drop the subject for a while?
Pay attention to what a guy does. This guy sent you an hour and a half of signals that he wanted nothing from you but sex. When a guy blatantly asks you to have sex or do anything sexual the way this guy did, thats all he wants and thats all he thinks of you as.
If a guy is that stupid and immature, he does not deserve your attentions much less actually getting laid. Guys will do what they have to to get laid. If you require that a guy be your boyfriend, require that he treat you well, you will eventually find a guy who is willing to step up to the challenge.
Do not let a guy get under your clothes unless you're in a relationship. Don't let yourself get drunk and use that as an excuse. Get used to masturbating so that you don't go insane with sexual desire.
Last warning.
You're 14. There is a strong possibility that a guy who is mature enough is going to be hard to find. You've just seen, guys will even get a girlfriend, and cheat if they get the slightest opportunity.
This isn't normal adult behavior. This is a stupid childish boy who has no self control who will jump on any opportunity he gets to get laid. But from everything I've read, this attitude isn't as uncommon as it should be.
All you can do is have your standards and refuse to compromise on them, but right now I'd focus on school and let a guy seek you out. If you go looking, the ones who are going to be waiting to jump on a girl who wants a boyfriend probably aren't going to be the ones you want to date.
The next time a guy "asks you for sex for an hour and a half", leave the room or make him leave. Period. Its incredibly disrespectful, he's treating you like a toy, like a piece of meat and nothing more.
You obviously don't like that, so don't ever settle for it again. If a guy does what this guy did he is proving his worthlessness. He deserves your contempt, you shouldn't be giving in you should be laughing at how pathetic he is that he sits there and asks and asks and asks.
If you find yourself wanting to say no because you think you like the guy, slap yourself. You should never, EVER, have sex with a guy because you like him and you want him to like you back. You should make him establish like, and even love, by virtue of being a good boyfriend and respecting you as a person.
If a guy doesn't measure up to that, kick him to the curb.
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With guys, they usually do lose respect for girls once they sleep with them, which doesnt make sense since they're the one's that ask..but they do. Honestly, that's probably all he wanted. And if he hasn't talked to you..he might have moved on because you gave him what he wanted. You can try and talk to him, but I don't think it will go anywhere with a guy like that.
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I really think that his respect for you is going to go out the window if it hasn't already.
It's really not a good look for a girl when she gives it up so easily - especially to someone she isn't dating. If you really want to refrain from sex, you should've put your foot down and kept on with the no's. If he couldn't understand your decision, then he isn't the one for you.
However, you didn't keep your dignity. You decided he was worth it and completely threw your self respect away for an hour or so of pleasure. I would say that most guys would definitely lose their respect for a girl if she gave it up to him easily & they're not even dating. It just shows them what kind of person you are.
And I'm going to have to say I'm the same way. I think it's trashy for a girl to give it up to someone she isn't dating. Don't get involved sexually if there's no commitment. It makes you look bad.
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I don't really think this guy has respect for women in the first place. You had to keep telling him no, thats a red flag right there. Just the fact that he suggested it bugs me but then he obviously pressured you into it..if you weren't pressured then you must have done it just to shut him up. Guys don't lose respect for girls because they had sex with them, this guy just didn't have respect for you or girls in general. Ditch him.
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Do guys have much respect for a girl who they tell her "Sorry, I have a girlfriend now, but I'll totally bone you when I'm single..." in the first place?
Your problem is not the sex. Many guys still have an abundance of respect and admiration for a woman they have slept with.
This guy doesn't appear to have respected you much in the first place, he also doesn't seem to have respected his girlfriend much line you up before he was even single... and then he didn't take no for an answer when it came to sex the very first time you hung out...
He doesn't respect you. Doesn't matter if you slept with him or not. He never respected you in the first place.
If I were you, and you never hear from him again, I'd call it a win.
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