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shouldn't of forgiven her
16/f
My best friend lets call her jane and I are the type of bff's that where ever we went everyone noticed us. We use to do everything together and whenever one of us needed the other we always had each others back...that was until janes new boyfriend came into the picture. You see her boyfriend ruined our friendship. He envied the type of friendship me and jane had so he became controlling of her and started telling jane who to be friends with and who not to be. I became furious and ended the friendship between me and jane after she failed to stand up for me when he'd call me rude names or act up towards me. Jane and I ever since that day never spoke to each other and grew hate for one another..I am going to admit that I messed up big time..I was so upset with the whole situation that I started bad mouthing her and her boyfriend to all my friends..telling everyone what she did and the type of guy he was ..everyone grew hate towards her and him because of how they treated me...now jane a yr later found out her picture perfect boyfriend had cheated on her so she started to realize what she had done and who she lost ..me. She approached me and askd me for forgiveness..me being the nice person that I am forgave her and everyone as in my friends grew hate towards me for bad mouthing her and then later becoming friends with her ..I decided to ignore the people who were there for me when she wasn't and tried rebuilding what me and jane had missed for that half yr that we didn't talk..I just found out 2 days ago that jane went back to her cheating rude boyfriend and now I lost her again andd the people I went to for support..I'm left alone and I feel like I have no one in the word to talk to at school or at home jane was the person I went to with my problems but she backstabbed me again.. How do I gain the people I lost because of her..and how do I learn not to be so forgiving?? I don't want to go back to school in a month because I know I lost my friends and its no fun eating bymyself or not having anyone to talk to ='(
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I'm not going to be able to beat the previous answer, because in all honesty it's amazing. But I do have one thing to say, it's in reference to when you said "and how do I learn not to be so forgiving??".
You can never be to forgiving, forgivness is a virtue. If people don't like you for being able to forgive, who cares. You did the right thing in forgiving "Jane". Let no one tell you differently.
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People are jerks :[ im sorry, this really sucks. But I know how it feels to be the one lied to and excluded and basically shunned. The people who stood by you should understand that you forgave her because she WAS your best friend, and you didn't want one fight to ruin everything, even though you bad-mouthed her to them, you were upset and vulnerable, and hurt, they most likely would have done the same exact thing in your position. They aren't innocent either, I mean, they didn't stop you when you were talking about her, and I'm sure they chimed in also, so now that they called you out for going back to her, they did the same exact thing .. and are now friends with jane. So with that said, they are being the biggest hypocrites. But anyways, it's not your fault that this all happend, you seem like a really nice person, and you were taken advantage of by jane. she came crawling back to you, begging for forgiveness, because she KNEW you'd give it to her. Honestly, it sounds like she had this whole thing planned out, because if jane wanted your friendship back, she'd tell the people who stood by you, that are now standing by her, that none of this is your fault and that she understands. but she isn't sticking up for you. none of them are. If I were you, I'd get new friends, honestly. Why be surrounded by a bunch of people who love to hate one person. It's so elementary school and you're obviously better than that :] but if you really want to be their friends again, at least let jane go. she doesn't deserve your friendship. Try talking to one of the people who stood by you when things were bad with jane one on one, and have no one else around. tell her everything and ow you feel .. everything you told us advicenators, tell that one person. then start meeting up with each person one on one ... face to face, explaining EVERYTHING. even if they dont want to hanfg out with you, try your hardest to, or, call them. and then hang out with all of them somewhere you can all talk and just let it out. communication is the only way you'll get through to them at this point. I know revenge is sweet, but right now, this isn't the time for that. and when you go back to school, you won't be all alone, I promise that you'll have at least ONE person to talk to, no matter who he/she is.
When you lose something, it has the potential to be found. Maybe go on facebook [if you have one, or some kind of editing photos thing] like picnik and edit a photo of you and all your friends who had stood by you ... make it really nice and memorabe with a best friends saying, something about sticking together through the good times and the bad. and maybe give them all a copy or tag them in it or something. I know that'd really pull on their heart strings :]
you can do this, and don't worry about school just yet, you won't be the loner. good luck, hope i helped ! tell me how it goes, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me :] xxo.
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