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Love Again?
I know people always say you can love one person, then move on and love another person. I'm not sure how to do that though. What was it like for you (whoever decides to answer this question) when you moved on to another person, and fell in love with them? Did you learn anything new? Do you regret leaving the person you loved before that person? Any advantages, disadvantages? ..Any pointers to help me? .. Any advice at all would be appreciated. Thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I believe that yes, you can move from one love to another. But I believe that no matter how many people come and go in your life that you will fall in love with, there will be that one that is your true love. Some people are able to spend the rest of their lives with that person and other dont and then that person is considered the "lost love".
When I was 14 I started dating a guy who was my best friend. We stayed together for 3+ yrs and had an awesome relationship. But around the 3 yr mark of being with him I started developing feelings for a coworker of mine and left my boyfriend for this new guy. I went back and forth between the 2 of them for about 6 months because my exboyfriend was faithfully fighting to get me back. But I resisted and stayed with the new guy. I did love the new guy and I thought I did alot more at the moment then I realize now. I stayed with that guy for about 10 months before we split. Now that its years after the fact, I realized I never loved that guy the way I loved my ex. My ex (the one I was w/ for 3 yrs) is like my lost love. I cant help but compare everyone to him. I will never be with him again and I accepted that a long time ago but I will always wonder "what if" and I will care for him and have love for him till the day I die. I still to this day do not know why I left him for the other guy, or even what I saw in the other guy. Not that there was anything wrong with him, we had a fine relationship and it ended on decent terms but looking back I just dont get it.
Its not necessarily that I regret anything because if all wouldnt have happened I wouldnt have the life I have today. I jsut wonder what life I would have had because Im curious.
It definately is tough going from one love right to another because its hard not to compare and when your used to a certain person and their personality and how they react and do things, its weird switching to a totally different person with a totally different personality. It takes some getting used to. And sometimes you will regret. Its just somehting that you learn with time. Its definately not something you can prepare yourself for because you never know what will happen and you cant control your feelings. My best advice for you is dont just act on the moment. Think everything thru and be fair. Try your best not to compare and be open minded.
Good luck.
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My first love was when I was 14, our relationship got dull quickly and I fell out of love and we broke up. When I had just turned 17 I began another relationship with my best guy friend who I loved already from a friendship point but then it started moving on to more than that but I had fallen in love, he didn't. Again it ended quickly and I was crushed. The most depressed I think I've ever been in my life. I cried everyday until I literally don't think I had any tears left to cry. In an attempt to get my mind off him one of my best friends and her boyfriend introduced me to a friend of his. We're going on 6 months together. I've been through the first love, I've been through falling in love with your best friend but the relationship I'm in now is deep, true love and I'm not going to lie, I had doubts in the begining because I still had some feelings for the best friend at the time but that passed.
To answer your questions:
You learn from every relationship. It might not be something you realize at first. In my first relationship I learned not to go out with someone just because they like you, the best friend relationship I learned that even the people closest to you can be unpredictable and in my current relationship I learned that this is everything I want.
I have no regrets. I don't regret dating a 17 year old when I was 14 despite the shit and judgement I got from family and friends. I don't regret being with my best friend even though we fought afterwards and didn't talk for a month because being with him had some good memories.
I'm not the type of girl to go from guy to guy. I've been single more years than not. There were 3 years between the first two relationships and 4 months between the 2nd and the one I'm in now. I'm not the type of girl who falls in love easily, I don't settle for anyone and I'll be the girl to sit there and wait and reject hundreds until I find the perfect guy so I'm not like the people who date for 2 weeks and suddenly they're in love. And even if I feel love I won't tell them until I'm 100% sure.
As for the advantages/disadvantages:
Love is the strongest drug out there. I've never been so carefree as I am now. I've smoked things and drank stuff that was supposed to make your worries go away but nothing works as well as having someone who loves you more than the air they breathe look you in the eyes and tell you everythings going to be alright.
The only disadvantage is if the love ended because it'll be the worst pain you'll ever feel, yet somehow its still worth it.
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I like your question. I believe I like it mostly because I like love. And I most definitely believe you can love another person after you have loved someone else. BUT you can't do it unless you have reached total and complete closure with the other person. You can not and will not EVER love someone else if you are constantly obsessing over lost or unrequited love. So how do you move on to another person? Time is definitely a factor. You need to give yourself time to grow, to learn by yourself why maybe the relationship didn't work out, and to accept it. Time to change as a person if you feel you need to, or to realize you don't... If you are heartbroken, time to heal. When you are truly happy as a singe person, and decide that you don't want back the love you once had...only then are you ready to love someone else. Because then you are your own person and are ready to share your heart with someone new. I have never truly been in love. Yes, I've had insane infatuations but true love hasn't found me yet. But what I can tell you I learned from moving on in each and every relationship is that after every one, I knew a little bit more about myself, and what I like, and what I expect. I do not regret anything. We don't get any do overs in life so regret is really a wasted emotion. Doesn't help you at all. The best advice I can give you is look ahead because while you may have lost the person you loved, you still haven't lost the most important thing you have - yourself. I really do sympathize with you because losing love is one of the hardest things we sometimes have to face. But trust me, you will love again...
just be happy and I really hope everything works out! good luck =)
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