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long distance relationship.
17 / F [Sorry if this is lengthy]
Okay, well I met this guy back in 2007. And we became really close friends. He asked me out three months after we met. And we really liked each other. We were together for 3 months and then he had to move to another state. I manage to cope with it. We didn't stay together because we were both young (I was 14) and we didn't believe in long distance relationships. Well, he eventually moved back and we became close again. Well, we've been together for 7 months now. And we really care about each other. (I'm not going to say I love him, because I don't know that yet. And I'm not like those stupid little teens who say they love someone because they're with them. But I really, really care about him.) But we still don't believe in long distance relationship. But I don't know, there's something there that we want to start believing because we care so much. I'm 17 and he's turning 19 in a couple of months. So, it's not much of an age difference. But I'm scared that he'll move on when he moves. I really do care about him and I don't want him to leave, but I know that he has to.
So my questions are...
- Have any of you been in a situation like this? If so, how did you deal it?
- Should we continue what we have even though he's far away?
- If we talk more about a long distance relationship, do you think we'll be in one?
I want to make him some CDs so he can remember him. And I already have CDs of our songs. But I want to make more.
- What are some songs about having someone you care about moving / leaving and you're just not the same without them there?
Thanks in Advance!
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Want to answer more questions in the Hobbies category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Music?
Situations like this are always tough. But life is tough, and nothing comes easy. Being able to overcome obstacles I believe creates stronger relationships. You should never let something you really want slip away or get by you... It will only make you regret doing so in the long run.
And I agree with you guys actually about the whole long distance relationship thing. It's obvious that you cannot have the same kind of relationship long distance as you would have when you live in the same place and can actually physically be with each other. All that you can do is keep in touch with one another via the phone the internet and pictures. I have tried it before and what usually happens is you end up getting too frustrated with the whole situation and have periods that you don't even know about it anymore. It might bring you farther apart just trying to make it work long distance.
A long distance relationship isn't much of a relationship if you ask me. The real thing you need to know is if he's coming back or not or if you're planning on getting back together physically when you are able to be together for real. If he is and you are planning on doing that, maybe the best thing to do for now is to accept that he's moving, and make sure you stay in touch with each other. But don't make any promises you can't keep. After he moves make sure you both don't forget how you feel about each other. But don't keep yourselves tied down to each other when you live so far apart. If I were you I wouldn't try to maintain a formal girlfriend/boyfriend relationship because like I said it will probably just create problems and frustration between you both missing each other and not knowing how to have a real relationship with eachother when you can't be with eachother in person. You don't know what each other is doing and with whom they are doing it with. And you will wonder this and get angry, and probably with yourself for having to wonder about it so much. Hense-frustration.
Just talk about having a relaxed relationship and staying in touch so when the time comes you will still have each other if you still want to be together.
And two songs that come to mind would be:
Far Away- Nickelback
Here Without You Baby- 3 Doors Down
I hope at least some of that made sense and helped
Let me know!
If you need any more advice on anything just inbox me! :)
Thanks
Victoriadvice
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Hey there!
Well just so you know long distance relationships are possible if you make them work. I know that you say you both don't "believe" in them, but have you tried? I understand completely if you don't want to but you should atleast try especially if you care so deeply about him.
I was in a similar type of situation like this when I was younger. When I was 15 I was dating a guy and moved to a different state - while we still talked we weren't "together" I would come back occasionally once every year or twice and we'd see each other, and we'd act like we were dating but we actually weren't. Now that I'm 19 it's been a while and when I see him I can say that I genuinely cannot stand him. I think he's the most irritating person and I think it's because I just got bored of him after a while and we grew up differently I just felt like he was so immature. So, now we don't talk - but I'm sure if we would've been around each other more or if we would've talked more then it might've been easier to cope with.
Anyways - to answer your questions. It's really up to the both of you if you want to continue what you have. It's definitely going to be a difficult thing to get through, but like I said earlier if you both care then you should atleast try it and see how it happens. A lot of people say that the only way you can tell if you love someone is if they're not around and you miss them like crazy and just want them. Obviously if you're open to date other people when he moves that's OK too, but if your both on the same mindset that you care about each other more then anything then yeah. You just both need to be on the same page about your relationship and you have to have great trust in one another.
The only way that you both will be in a long distance relationship is if you both agree that you think it's a good idea and you're willing. You can't just assume that if you discuss being in a long distance relationship with your bf that it will just "happen" you both have to promise that you think it's a good idea.
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