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i need help right away on how to get started
hello all! i am hoping that maybe you can help me out, here. i am going through a little bit of a rough time with nutrition and being healthy. let me further explain. as i was growing up (early teens), i weighed about 120 pounds. i am only 4"11 now, so back then i was a little shorter, about 4"9. I wasn't super fat, but i was definitely on the chubby side. that's not to say that everyone is 4"11 and 120 pounds is chubby, because every body type is different! Some people have more boobs, some have more butt, and some people just have a bigger bone structure. But, I am a tiny girl. I always had big boobs and a huge butt, but it was a little bit too big for my size and my structure, because I have a really small frame and bone structure. most people can wrap their thumb to their pinky around my wrist. i always struggled with losing weight. it was like every time i would try, i would just fail. it was a constant struggle. i wanted to lose weight so much, because i was just so uncomfortable in my own skin. finally, i did lose the weight. I'm not quite sure how I did it, but I did. I think it was just going to the gym and trying to be more healthy. Like, instead of doing crazy diets, I would just chose fruits instead of fries, swiss instead of cheddar, and switching my milk from 2 percent to skim. stuff like that. So i went down to about 110. I was really happy with myself, and I felt great. I felt so good about myself, and I suddenly started taking more of an interest in myself, because I was happy with the way I looked and the way I felt. But, it started getting out of control. Taking a interest took a wrong turn, and before i knew it, i was weighing myself every day and restricting myself to 600 calories a day. I was out of control! I became really obsessed and had to get therapy right away, because i took it to an extreme and ended up at 83 pounds. Even though I'm small, 83 pounds was just not a good weight for me, especially under the conditions I was in. There were bones popping out of everywhere, my hair started falling,and since I wasn't eating, I had no energy, and no drive to take care of myself. I became very isolated, and lost all my friends. I had bags under my eyes that were purple and gray. I looked like a zombie. Anorexia quickly turned in bulimia when I feared that I had exceeded my 600 calories. There was no stopping me. Everyone and around me, and me, myself, were suffering greatly. But, I didn't know what to do. I had hit rock bottom, and I was afraid to get out, because my biggest fear was being fat, and being the person I was before, the one who hated herself, and never took an interst in herself. But, at this point, I was there anyway, because I wasn't taking care of myself. I was harming myself greatly, I just didn't see it. I started to come out of it little by little, and reached 98 pounds eventually. At 98 pounds, I was a happy girl. I felt good about myself, and it was a weight that I felt really comfortable at. Even 100. 96-100 was a good weight for me. I looked good, I felt good, and I was eating reasonably. I wasn't eating a lot, but I wasn't eating too little. I was just watching out for myself. But, I still hadn't gotten my period back, which I had lost for about a year due to the eating disorder. But, during the recovery, I started binge eating a lot, because my body was so deprived of the nutrients. Today I am at 105, and i don't feel comfortable here at all. I mean, I'm not fat. I still look skinny. But, I'm just not comfortable. My clothes don't fit as nice, I feel swollen in different areas, and worst of all, I still binge every once in a while. But, not as bad as before. But, my question is... how can i lose these 5-7 pounds safely, without turning anorexic again, and still being able to eat foods i like? I am convinced that i can lose the weight as long as i stop bingeing. but, how can i? it's become more like a habit already, and i know that it's not a good habit, and it's one that i really don't like and really want to stop. but, when something is a habit, it's hard. i need something to get me started. i know that the answer is to try to eat healthy, be nutritional, so that it doesn't happen. i've even tried taking vitamins, but nothing works. it's like at this point, it's just become something that i do. it's not as bad as it was before, but i just know that if i control my mouth, i will be where i want to be again, and feel good and happy with myself. i want to grab this monster by the horns, before it grabs me again. i just need a good way of getting started... can someone offer me any help? Maybe if you have been in this situation before, you can help me out. Please and thank you!
xoxo
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Nutrition?
Before I start answering your question, I want to give you my email - megweb3@yahoo.com
I am in recovery for Anorexia as well. Even though I have never had Bulimia, I still feel that I can talk to you about many aspects of your question while being able to relate to them. I am not sure how my Anorexia started, but I lost weight in the same form you had. It began with exercising and making healthy substitutions. My family and friends didn't think anything was wrong with me. What's wrong with trying to be healthy? It became out of control. Eating disorders are based on control. Patients with eating disorders feel the need to restrict their food so that they can achieve the body image they want. Unfortunately, negative health affects come from this and it can become very dangerous and unhealthy. You have to see things from a medical aspect. Is the weight you want, even if it's 80 lbs, worth risking your health? If you aren't healthy, there is nothing to work for. Instead of going out with your friends, spending time with your family, going to school, or getting a job, you will have to be in a treatment center where they control what you eat and how much of it.
It's a lot easier said then done. Even though I feel like I came a long way, I still struggle with eating. For your height, you do not need to weigh 120 lbs to be healthy. For your height, you can weigh anywhere from 105-120 lbs. Even though you may feel that 105 is a lot for you, since you were 80 lbs before, it is not a lot in any way. Runway models can weigh 160 lbs and their job is to look good. You're definitely right about body types and you want what's best for you. Doctors will probably tell you the same. Anything under 105 lbs can become unhealthy, especially since you've suffered from eating disorders.
With binging and purging, if you are still doing it, you should seek treatment. It's a viscous cycle that is difficult to treat by yourself. A professional needs to discuss it with you so that you can become healthy. Anorexia can also be violent. Restricting calories is not good either.
For your height and weight, you should be eating around 2000 calories a day. That seems like a lot, but it isn't. You're a growing girl who is trying to stabilize and maintain your weight. If you feel that you are gaining weight fast and are going past a comfortable range, then you can decrease your calories, but only by a bit. You shouldn't go under 1800 calories anymore. It's not going to be easy but it will help you stay at a healthy weight.
You can still eat the foods you enjoy. If you don't like eating junk food, you don't have to. Keeping a well-balanced diet is important in maintaining weight. No one said you have to eat McDonalds to get better.
If you have any questions or just want to talk about it, you can send me an email.
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