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A first relationship and friendships being ruined.
I got into my first relationship, and it's over now, but my friends are all upset and everything because they felt that we were all into each other instead of being with our friends, is this normal? How do I fix the tension with my friends?
Thanks in advance!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
oh my god, i know how you feel. ive been with my boyfriend for over 3 months and my other friends are always like 'sellout' and shit when i go to hang out with him.
you have to tell them that they cant get mad when there is a new person in your life, and that if they are your true friends that theyll respect the time you wanna hang out with the significant other. make sure you hang out with your friends too though !
x sweeethoney
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This is perfectly normal for a first relationship. But just remember, a true friend is there forever, your first relationship isn't, If it starts to hurt your friendships too much, just tell the other person that you need to spend a little more time with your freinds and less with them. Or better yet, bring them to hang out with your friends. They might end up being friends themselves.
I had one friend who got into a relationship with the wrong person, they got into the wrong crowd. I had known them for almost my whole life. They started making terrible decisions, and we(me and my other 10-year friends) couldn't get him to stop. Before we could stop it, the friendship was ruined.
My best friend had always been there, and then suddenly was gone. It still hurts to see what they're doing to themselves.
My advice: If they're true friends, stick with them. Don't let one person change who you are or who you hang out with. Be yourself and be careful.
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I'd say that this is fairly normal for a first relationship. You haven't learned how to balance friendships with relationships because this was your first relationship. If your friends say you ditched them for your boyfriend while you were dating him, they've got a reason to say it.
In order to fix the tension with your friends, you need to own up to it. Even if you honestly feel that you didn't ditch them for your boyfriend, just apologise. Say, "I see now where I was spending too much time with him and not enough time with you. That wasn't right of me to do and I'm really sorry. I'll make sure that in future relationships, I spend equal time with you guys." Just own up to it, state your apologies, and state what you're going to do in the future to make sure they don't feel like that again.
It's important for you to remember that they're not saying and acting like this to gain up on you. They're just upset because it hurt their feelings that you spent more time with your boyfriend than you did with them. They probably felt abandoned and now that you've just broken up with your boyfriend and are trying to be all friendly with them again, they most likely feel like they're being used. Pretty much, they feel like they were put on the back burner while you went off with your boyfriend, and now that you guys have broken up, they feel like you're coming back to them expecting things to go right back to normal. Just own up and apologise. They'll most likely understand and accept.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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