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Someone please explaine!!?
I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 weeks almost 5. And I want to makeout with him, I know he does too but he wont do anything that Im not comfortable doing. So, we haven't even kissed, I don't want to make out/kiss him because I dont know how? I know this sounds cheesy but I don't want to mess it up, or make it really akward.. Because this is my first kiss too and I really like him. So can anyone give me advice on how to kiss/make out? Thank-you soo much if you reply to this!
14/F.
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This answer is going to seem obnoxious and predictable, but seriously take it into consideration..
Don't worry at all! I'm not sure if he's experienced, but either way, I'm sure he won't make fun of you even if you do "mess up" your first kiss (there aren't many ways to do that, by the way. Just so long as you don't miss his mouth, or something). If he's been patient enough to wait for almost five weeks, I'm sure he'll be willing to accept any form of kissing, even if it's a bit bad, at first. (And I'm not saying that to make you nervous, just reassure yourself that he won't break up with you or something if your first kiss isn't perfect).
Usually, a couple's first kiss isn't that great, anyway. Most people have an embarassing first kiss, actually. Everyone survives though. :] It's no big deal if it's a little awkward or one of you messes up a little. I know you're really nervous, but just go for it! If something goes wrong, it's always a funny story to tell later and something to work on. ;]
What I'd do is flat out tell him that you're nervous, but you'd like to just try a kiss. You don't even have to be like "I WANT TO KISS YOU NOW." Just maybe act shy. Something like .. "I feel really bad that I haven't kissed you yet. I really want to, I'm just scared I'll mess up." Just empathize that you want to try :P.
It's like jumping in a pool. The more you draw it out, the worse it seems. Just go for it, and you'll surprise yourself!
For tips.. well, everyone's different, but some general ones, I guess..
-Have chapstick handy, especially if you're going to make out (that's for later down the road, though). Only put one or two coats on, though.
-Mints and gum are your friends. Share them with your boyfriend.
-Take it slow, both moving in as well as kissing.
-Don't worry about closing your eyes the first few times, because you usually forget or are too nervous. You get used to it as you get more comfortable with the person, there's nothing much else that you can do.
-If you say you're nervous, it usually makes it feel better. Guys usually find it cute, actually.
-Pucker a bit so you don't bite or have any teeth bumping going on. XD
I'd say ask later about making out, though. Don't overwhelm yourself too much right now. You're already nervous about the first kiss. I'm not doing this to be annoying, it's just that if you try to follow making out tips for just a plain first kiss, you'll be SUPER nervous and feel like you're under a ton more pressure.
Good luck, it'll be great! :]
XOXO
KAT.
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I know this sounds really lame, and I'm sure it is ;]
But just go with the flow. I don't really have experience in how to "properly" kiss, nor do I have experience with kissing at all! Can you say prude? ;]
Anyway- if it's your boyfriend/girlfriend- just be honest with him/her. Tell them you're nervous and you don't really know what you're doing. Apparently the people who are less-experienced is a big turn-on to some people.
Do what you feel comfortable with. If something feels awkward or uncomfortable, don't do it. If it feels right, ask the person if they are okay with that, and if they are- then you'll be fine.
There really isn't a CORRECT way to do it. Everyone does what they are comfortable with.
From my weak experience- this is what I can tell you:
1. Don't come on strong- it's really awkward for the other person.
2. Don't slobber all over the other person.
3. Don't stick your tongue all the way down their throat.
My friend on here, Laura, answered a question similar to this, and she gave a great answer. I will copy her answer, but know that credit goes to her.
www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=542699
Honestly, you could read a book about it, and you'd probably forget everything once you went in for the kiss.
Explore. Do what feels right. Make it fun, playful, romantic, whatever you want it to be. Don't make it all about jamming your tongue down his throat, and try not to drool all over him, because it's generally less than desireable to do so.
If you come off as confident it'll be a lot more fun. If all evening you're thinking "Oh my gosh, this is going to be bad" you won't enjoy yourself. Follow his lead at first, if you're truly that nervous.
And really, it's almost impossible to find a truly bad kisser. If anything, they might do something you're not used to; give it a chance before you hate it. Who knows, he might be thinking the same thing right now about you!
Over time, you'll develop your own personal style of kissing/making out, and that's not a bad thing. Do whatever feels good/right to you, and gets a positive reaction. For example, some people love a gentle, or less than gentle, bite of the lip, "necking", and other techniques. Like I already said, experiment & make it fun!
From personal experience I'd advise that you brush your teeth and floss, and have some mild mints with you, like TicTacs. Fruity is usually good, and less overpowering. If you're at a party, don't worry too much about what you're eating if you're both eating the same things, but a huge plate of hummus & extra garlic is a bad choice right before kissing =P. That's where mints come in handy for both of you. Casually offer him one if he's been gorging on something stinky.
--Jack
(17/m)
]
I really agree with momma. But also, just remember, although your nerbes may be up, chances are it won't make or break a relationship. I know it seems like it will because of what you may hear from friends, but usually (unless he is a complete Idiot), If this relationship does end without you kissing him and he pulls out the "you weren't fun enough." Or the "you never wanted to do things." trick then he's just covering up for something else that he probably did. And if he is a good boyfriend then he should respect your boundries untill your comfortable. I had my first kiss a not so long ago and it was my girlfriend kissing me, yes I am a boy so your getting your advice from the opposite spectrum, but sometimes they will be the one to make the move and you won't see it coming. And if so just let it happen (if your comfortable with it) and hope it goes well, if not, no biggie, he should understand.
Sincerely,
Andersen
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Well, I'll tell ya...
He is as inexperienced as you are.
Best bet? Learn from each other. It's just one of those things you have to learn on your own.
You can only gain experience from experience. :-)
ygs-31/f
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