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what did i do to deserve all of this..
(fifteen; female)
this is a really long story but please take the time to read it because i've never been more desperate for help in my entire life..
i had a boyfriend who i am totally and completely not only in love with, addicted to. let's call him A. i also had a really close friend who i've known since around fourth grade, let's call her B. a few months ago, i found out from a newly made friend (who i had known probably about a week) who was friends with my exboyfriend. one day, he told me that he couldn't lie to me, and he told me that A and B had been sleeping together. when i confronted them, they both denied it. A's only defence was "if i slept with B, don't you think i'd brag a little more, she's hot as shit. i wish i did, but i didn't. if i did, everyone would know about it."
a little about me and A: i've been in love with him for about a year. at one point last summer, things really heated up and we fell in love (or so he says he loves me.. but he probably really doesn't). he's put me through hell and back, but i've never loved anyone like i love him and i never will.if you were to ask him how many times he's cheated on me, he'd reply with "too many times to count," and yes that is the exact answer he gave me. i know i sound like such an idiot actually having feelings for someone that treats me like he does, but my love for him can't even be put into words.
when i found this out, i was a trainwreck. and i still to this day can't breathe. A and B are dating now. in fact, after all of this happened, he came to my house and appolagized to me (tears and everything), but he was dating her when he gave me the whole "still in love with you" act.
A and B's relationship consists of sex, with a few drunken breakups thrown in, but they of course throw it in my face whenever possible of how happy and in love they are.
i recently got in a fight with my best and closest friend, let's call her C. today, i was at a mall in my town where i saw a bunch of my friends.. and who do i see but C and A hanging out together. for C to even aknowledge A makes me want to throw up, especially since C knows what i've been through and she knows that i would NEVER do that to her.
not only did i lose the love of my life and a really good friend, but i lost my best friend too.
the A and B thing happened months ago, and i'm still hanging by a thread. what the hell can i do to make this hurt less bad? i want to breathe again..
and how do i just get over all the shit these people are putting me through? i really don't see how i could deserve this. how am i going to get over it all? PLEASE HELP ME. i'm honestly dying inside because i have literally nothing to live for. i need help i don't know what to do, i don't want to be miserable anymore
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hi 15, dont let this little bump in lifes road drag you down. there is going to be a lot more some bumps are good like on a roller coaster. anin the long run the good will out number the bad. write them all off in your lifes book as here is always something better around the corner.better now than years later an married an have him do it! it will happen if you let it. luv brokenwing
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you're in the stage, where you are just completly down about the everything -
Get a backbone, because they all became unloyal to YOU, badly treated YOU, and don't care they upset YOU.
Dont you realise they are all bastards and you are wasting your time and your thoughts on them?
They hurt you, and you need to have a smile on your face when you seem them, dont let them see your weakness - thats what they live off.
You shouldnt be feeling sad, you should be feeling glad that you've got a rid of a pair of bastards that deserve eachother because they are as bad as eachother.
You never did anything wrong, but they are treating you, like how you should be treating them!
HELL..they hurt you, so dont sit there and take it.
And as for you friend C, I can understand how angry you are with her, however what goes on between you and B, has nothing to do with a C - and it isnt fair for you to put this amount of pressure on her to choose out of the two of you to hang out with, HOWEVER, if I was her - I would not be hanging out with B, because your the one who needs a friend right now.
Now, to get over this situation.
1) Stick to the people are truly you friends, like the one who told you about A AND B..that is a loyal person right there
2) Ignore A & B..dont give them attention but keep your head high, dont turn the other way
3)dont talk about them either, it will get you worked up and annoy your friends.
4) Cut off any communication with A,B, and cut it back with C. That way you wont be reminded of them
5) Throw anything away A ever gave you. Save B's stuff - you guys were friends, after she has had a bad patch with A, she may realise how bad she treated you
6) Situate yoursef around friends
7) Start writing, poetry and storys, thoughts, a journal. Get your feelings out - I do it online so noone can read it a book, or anything - www.allpoetry.com, it will help you get persepective.
8) Keep yourself busy - like I said write, or cook , bake etc
9) Get a new look, revamp yourself or your bedroom etc, it will be a fresh start for the summer
10) Music. Listen to it.
They hurt you and you dont deserve it. You are worth so much more. SO MUCH, so show them that. They are pathetic really, and your ex is an asshole about saying how hot your friend was, very unconsiderate.
He doesnt deserve you. Go out, be an independant woman.
And listen to some good tunes that are going to reflect your mood
here are a few that helped me, or I think will
1- Breakdown - Mariah Carey
2- Heat - Mariah Carey
3- Independant Woman - Destiny's Child
4- Single Ladies -- Beyonce
5- Midnight Bottle - Colbie Caillat
6- Forever and Always - Taylor Swift
7 - Fix You - Cold Play
8 - Yellow - Cold Play
9 - Teasing to Please (Left Side, Strong Side) - Cute Is What We Aim For
10 - If I was a boy - Beyonce
11- Love Is Pain - Girls Aloud
12 - So Yesterday - Hilary Duff
13 - Somewhere only we know - Keane
14 - You don't love me - the kooks
15 - Naive - the kooks
I could go on forever, sorry haah
Good Luck
Sage :)
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I honestly know exactly what your going through. I know this is easier said than done but you have to stop thinking about it. Think about what you deserve not what you feel. Your obviously a better person than he is, especially if you care about him still after everything he has put you through. Look back at all the bad times and forget the good.You need better friends and a new boyfriend. Stop stressin over whats in the past its in the past for a reason. Just start over. Dont talk or think about any of them, and get new friends. Another guy will come a long and so will other best friends. I promise. I know that this will be hard but once this is over and you have new friends you will look back and see that he wasnt worth it and neither was you friends. It puts you through too much heartache and stress and its not worth it. Your young you still have a lot of time.
Hope i helped =]
If you need anything else feel free to go to my column and ask me personally.
Good luck! and Cheer up! =]
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Wow Hun I'm sorry to hear all this.
First of all, You did NOTHING wrong. The truth...When people cheat on someone they don't like to admit it because it makes them feel guilty and they want it kept a secret. If your boyfriend cheated on you with your friend then he is not worth it and never was. I know you fell hard for him but you need to realize that you deserve better. You can breathe again and believe it or not you will overcome this it might not be right away but it will happen. If your best friend went behind your back like that to date your exboyfriend then she wasn't a friend all along because what makes a friend a friend is the fact that you can trust each other. I wouldn't be mad at "C" because frankly although you knew her for about a week she was the friend to come out and tell you the truth instead of you finding out the hard way. Although, It was tough to hear...Sometimes it helps to focus on the pain and turn it into anger and move on. What I mean by this is sometimes instead of thinking of all the good times think of all the things that hurt you, bothered you, angered you and use that focus to move on. Do what you need to do focus on friends, family, summer sports, next school year etc. make sure you get out and you are around loved ones because the comfort helps a lot. If you really want to move on maybe you should cut all contact and focus on yourself. You are worthwhile.
-BahaiMa22
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