|
My exboyfriend and first love wants me back. I'm 19
I was in a very, very close relationship with a guy last summer. We were in a committed relationship for five months. I was 18, now I'm 19. He was 20, now he's 21. It was our both first real relationship. It seemed perfect.
Anyways, he broke up with me in August. It seemed out of the blue. I cried a lot and was very depressed. In September, we got together because I hoped that we could start a relationship again. He ended up using me for sex and then ignored me. This happened again in late October because I still missed him. So he used me twice, basically.
Then in late December, he contacted me again. This time, I told him that I wanted friendship or a relationship and nothing in between. Of course, he stopped talking to me. Then I moved on.
Last week (June 13), he texted me. He said he beats himself up every day for messing up our relationship. He said he misses me. I told him that I'm still not interested in hooking up. He said he doesn't want that: he wants another chance. So we met up in person. I told him that I don't trust him at all, and that if I do give him another chance, there won't be any sex for a looong time. He said that that is fine, because he just wants to be in a relationship with me again. He said he wants to take it slow and not jump into a relationship, but ease back into it. He said he wishes he could do anything to get my trust back.
What do I do? Please help me. I want to give him another chance because I really had feelings for him, but I can't get hurt by him again, and I'm not sure if I've moved on completely.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Okay, I can't really tell you what to do. But I had this experience with my boyfriend. I'd say give him a chance but don't go far at all! Like til he can show you that he wants you as a person and not just sex. I know if you have feelings for him it's going to be hard not to do anything, but sex isn't important in a relationship. You need to know he loves you for you. But if that's all he wants than you don't need to get hurt, you don't deserve that at all. There are many other good people out there who would like you. But keep your head high and good luck:]
I hoped I helped:]
]
If you keep going back to the same guy, you might never move on and find someone else.. you had your chance with this guy and if you really wanted to get back with him you would know that and wouldnt be questioning it.
But i dont know your full history so i cant be sure, but sometimes you have to do what is best for you.
]
I think that you need to move on. He obviously doesnt care about you as much as he saiys he does if he used you twice. He shouldnt expect that you can forgive him after all that he has done to you. You need to start fresh, get away from him and try not to be tempted to try to get things started again. You deserve better.
]
You're story is quite familiar and personal to me, as I am sure it is with so many other girls. First off, you can't help who you develop feelings for--so don't be mad at yourself for liking someone. First loves and serious relationships are extremely hard to get over..and even more difficult to let go of, even if it is for the best. But it can and WILL be done. Give it time.
It's okay to get hurt by someone--but not in the way this guy has hurt and USED you. His actions have demonstrated he doesn't respect you, himself, your relationship, or your feelings. Guys just tell you what you want to hear and I am sorry to say--this is what this guy is doing to you. You guys are going to be in a constant, on-going unhealthy relationship cycle if you even give him a chance. Because he knows you will take him back.
I KNOW it is difficult to say NO to him or to avoid him, but if you don't you are going to be so much worse off than if you stay away. He may being honest about feeling bad about what he has done and wanting you back. But if you take him back...sooner rather than later, he will go back to his old ways. Put your foot down.
Relationships (especially at this age) aren't meant to last forever. You need to experience different relationships to learn, grow, develop, etc. and take what you learned from the previous to build a better relationship with the NEXT person.
It's okay to give a second chance to the guy (like you have already done) but not again. He blew it, and now that's for him to deal with.
Be strong. Block his number if you need to. Pick up a new hobby. Meet new people. Go out on dates. Have fun. It's summer time so you are going to have a lot of free time. It's okay to cry and be sad over this guy for a little while, but then you are going to need to stop feeling down and get right back out there.
In time you are going to start to feel better and realize it was your first break up and it was a good learning experience. In the end, he is going to respect you SO much more and really being mad at himself for screwing up something good.
Never ever settle. You are so young! There are so many people out there. Tret yourself to a spa day so you feel good about yourself and then go out and have a good time.
In time, it will get better, just keep telling yourself that you deserve to be respected and treated well. You will find that guy. :)
]
More Questions: |