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My boyfriend is 19, is our relationship illegal?
Hey, I'm Hayley, and my boyfriend is 19. I was just wondering if there was any laws against the age of dating? I know they're laws against sex, but we haven't had sex and he hasn't forced me to do anything sexual at all. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to have sex until I'm married and ready.
I'm actually 13, and I've been called a whore for dating him. The names won't change how I feel about him, but some people just don't know how to shut up. Is our relationship, illegal? Can he be charged? Should we break up so he doesn't get in trouble?
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Yes, your relationship is illegal, and I don't want to imagine what was going through his head when he decided to date a 13 year old.
If this relationship goes any further, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life. Imagine what your 30 year old self would say to you about your decision, and listen to it.
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Convictions depend alot on the area, the jury, and the evidence, but a DA could justify charging him for as little as a kiss on the mouth.
I'm not going to judge you. But I will warn you that this puts him in real danger. If you and he continue dating and it turns into a decent little relationship, the temptation is going to be overpowering. And it wouldn't take too much in the way of bad judgment to fuck his life up very, very badly.
It sounds like he cares about you, but that says alot about him. You seem mature for your age. The phrase "mature for your age" has been used by kids for generations to justify themselves when going out of their depth.
A normal 19 year old should not be able to date a 13 year old. The most mature 13 year old on the planet is not in any way capable of being enough for a normal, relatively mature 19 year old. The only way for you two to work is for him to be immature in order to make up the gap.
Thats not great. Hopefully, he grows up. But there are always chances that he won't. Things get ugly when a girl matures past her boyfriend. When you've been looking up to him for a couple of years, and then suddenly realize you've grown up and he hasn't, that loss in respect will be absolutely devastating to the relationship.
One last thing.
Six years isn't a huge gap later on in life. Not at all. My girlfriend's grandparents have a seven year gap between them. Just because a relationship is too dangerous to pursue now doesn't mean you can't later. In a few more years, you'll be better equipped to handle something like this, and if you still want to date him that option doesn't have to disappear.
I've known people who dated, broke up, and got back together a few years later. They weren't mature enough to handle something as serious as they had when they first met. Years later, they were, they'd both learned from failures and grown as people. They're married now.
Don't put him in danger. It would be selfish of you, and stupid of him. Ignore what people call you. Its not their business, and you aren't as far as I can tell doing this for the wrong reasons. You just can't take chances, this isn't detentions and grounding.
This is the sex offender registry. In florida there are sex offenders that have to live under a bridge, because everything else in the city is too close to somewhere kids congregate for them to legally reside in.
This kid doesn't deserve that, but the justice system doesn't work much on deserve. Don't chance it.
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ive been in a similar situation, where my boyfriend and i were illegal. we got caught drivin together at 2am and he got put in jail until someone bailed him out. but listen,
please be smart. if he hasnt pressured you to have sex, then hes probably been a good guy IF ITS BEEN OVER A MONTH. if he tries to get you to fxck him already than its a different story.
if anythin, fake a break up. to your parent (if they know) and to your friends and others. then keep it between him and you.
let it be simple. goin out on dates, kissin, huggin. just be loyal to him.
i lost my virginity when i was 14 and i regret it soooooooo much.
please just be a good girl for me, even though i dont know you. youre young, you have a lot of time and guys to do stuff. alright ?
good luck ! message me for anythin
x sweeethoney
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Yes, your relationship is considered illegal. If someone happens to disagree with your relationship and tells, he can be charged with statutory rape. Whether you guys are sexually involved or not, it still counts, and he can get in a lot of trouble for being with you.
6 years is a big difference for someone like you who's so young. I think you should just break up. If you really care about him, you won't want him to get into trouble so I'd end the relationship. You're a little too young for someone that age anyways.
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I agree with Razhie.
It may not be illegal to date in some states, but lawyers can twist even dating to mean you're having sex.
Your best bet is to just either wait to date him until you are older.. or just move on. In fairness, he IS kind of old for you.
I mean, it certainly isn't my right to date, but from a legal stand, you should probably stick to someone closer to your age.
--Jack
(17/m)
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It depends on your state.
You are right that the law is agianst sexual contact, but in different states, even kissing can qualify as 'sexual' contact. In some states, simply being in a relationship can be interpreted by the courts as implying sexual contact... It all depends on the state and the way the courts in your area lean.
Even without it being illegal, because of the age different your parents have offical measures by which to seperate you from him, and if I were your parents, I'd probably be using them.
Breaking up is up to you. No matter how much you like this guy I'm sure you realize this isn't the best idea.
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