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Leaving boyfriend alone with roommate
My boyfriend of 3 years, "Dave" and I have recently moved into an apartment with his friend, "Bob" and Bob's girlfriend, "April".
Bob has to go to basic training for 4 months so it is only Dave and I plus April.
I have to house sit for my grandparents for a week while they are on vacation and am over an hour away from the apartment so I'm nervous leaving Dave and April alone.
I trust him, but I came over to visit yesterday and walked in the room and he was on the computer in our room (he had no shirt on and pj bottoms) while she was on the bed watching him.
I don't know her that well and it freaked me out that a stranger is in our room with my personal stuff and on my bed with my boyfriend, alone.
What I want to know is am I over reacting and should I ask him not to have her in there alone or is that too controlling?
What would you think about this?
Thanks.
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I think that if you've been with your boyfriend for three years and have moved in together, that leaving him alone for a week should be no problem. I understand that the girl being on your bed is kinda weird... but nothing was happening, correct?
Also, he's most likely not going to be dressed in out-wear whenever he's at home.
I think that you should tell him that you're a little sketched out about it, but don't make a big deal about it.
I think everything will be just fine. :P
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you should trust your boyfriend but if the chick was on "your" bed and he had no shirt on then we might have a problem talk to the skank
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first of all i agree with everyone who's posted on here, i just wanted to add a little thing ,
If your intuition is telling out somethings not right, then listen to it, because you're probably right. And if she was on his bed already, it probably means they have been talking,because i doubt a guy would very much feel comfortable with a girl on his bed while he's half naked unless they've already been doing some kind of talking. i don't know,just seems really fishy. or maybe they're just close friends, but it's just- you can never trust girls your not fimiliar with! so what i would do, and this isn't just for the week you'll be away,but for the remainding four months and so on- is to become her really good friend. most friends know their limits with each others men, and if you get on her good side she'll actually care about your feelings and probably open up to you. it could work to your advantage, just make sure she's not being sneaky by playing the fake friend card to try to trick you into thinking she wouldn't do anything with your boy.ugh, that's always just dandy right?
anyways,
why can't your boyfriend house sit with you ?
i agree, you could go there at night- maybe the second night you house sit. if it were me i'd show up unexpectedly. i know you trust your boyfriend, but its mainly this girl.
you have every right to be suspicious! i think your boyfriend should know his boundries enough to not even allow another girl on his bed aside from you (unless you were in the room with them before).
all in all if you're suspicious i wouldn't take any chances, make sure they stay away from eachother but not in a controlling way. good luck and i hope things work out for you
xkisakissx
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i think you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him where you stand. tell him that that made you uncomfertable and ask him if he could just respect your feelings by not being alone with her in your room or to keep a distance. also maybe you should talk to her too and tell her you werent comfertable with that. hope it works out for you.
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Honestly, I do not think you are over-reacting. I could never leave my boyfriend (now... Husband) alone with a girl for a week, especially if she is without her significant other for 4 weeks and especially if you have already been made uncomfortable by walking into a room with him having his pants off and her on the bed. Thats just... NOT acceptable, in my opinion.
What I think you should do is talk to your boyfriend and come to a compromise. Let him know that you want your relationship to work and that you don't want anything to come between the two of you and most of all... ALWAYS BE CLEAR About your EXPECTATIONS. If he doesn't know that you think it is wrong for him to be in his undies in front of her, then he can't do anything to HELP that. Make it clear to him.
The only solution to this problem, I think, if communication and for you to talk to your boyfriend. Best of luck! And, remember.... be CLEAR about your expectations and stand your ground, sweetie. Haha. Thanks again!
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I agree with the previous posters. But then, unless you are handcuffed together, April and your boyfriend are going to spend time alone, so if they want to have sex they are going to do it. The benifit to your going away is that you'll get one clear shock of it (if it happens) and not the gradual mind f*#k. I would mention (more than once) your desire to have him go with you, just to keep things on the up and up. Or, why not just go home every night? I know it's an hour ride, but why do you have to spend the night at your grandparent's house?
Most of us are pretty perceptive, and we know other members of the same sex in a minute. If you saw something in the way this chick was checking out your man, I would trust it. If he's a good man, he'll just take her attention as a nice compliment, but if they are left alone together, she could lead him into making a mistake.
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I'm glad that you trust your boyfriend but honestly, 4 months is a long time to go without your partner and like Gunner said below me she will more than likely get lonely. The truth is in a week people can get to know each other and become close. Your boyfriend could be faithful, but you need to think of all the possibilities. I understand that you would be uncomfortable with him not having his shirt on while "April" is there also. Personally, I wouldn't be either if that was my boyfriend. I think you should talk to him about it see if you two can possibly work out a deal maybe he could stay with you? I'll give you my honest opinion I wouldn't leave him alone with another girl exspecially seeing her boyfriend is going to be gone for awhile.
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I'm going to give you a straight answer.
but first, it depends on the reaction to your arrival, if he was just like "oh hey whats up" and didn't give a damn and her reaction was the same, no worries.
I saw dozens of dear john letters come in when I was in basic. this is a setup for failure. she's gonna get lonely for those four months. its the first of many endurance trials for the army spouse. and trust me, the failures are amazing. If he deploys, do not live with her. thats a 12 month no sex trial by fire.
-gunner
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