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Want to reconnect and get past the hate
Let's just say, girl I used to date hates me, I sometimes hate her, but I really want to bury the hatchet and at least be friends, despite the years of non-speaking and such.
How do I manage to explain my intent and actually make it heard without some kind of issue?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Make her a CD. Listen to the Eagles "Best of my Love," and "Wasted Time," Puddle of Mud, "She Fucking Hates me," (don't put that one on the CD, just listen for a laugh) No Doubt, "I know We're Cool." If you make her a CD full of songs that describe how you feel, how you have felt, and how you hope to feel about eachother, she will take a walk down memory lane, realize that yo do truly care (you took the time to make the CD). Don't put a song on there if it isn't perfect. It is better to have a CD with only three really appropriate songs than adding a bunch that don't really say exactly what you want just to fill up space.
Matchbox 20 "Back to Good"
Carol King "Jesse" (there's also another song called "Jesse" sung by a man that's good.
Don Henley "Forgiveness" (this is a good one)
Don't worry about the genre because she will be more impressed that you took the time to listen to music you wouldn't normally.
If you cheated, try "Careless Whisper," by Wham
You can even add a couple of "I Hope You Dance" songs, just to let her know you're rooting for her. The nice thing about the CD is that she won't be forced to give you an immediate reaction, and she won't be able to resist listening to it. She will go through a ton of emotions, laugh, cry. Give her some processing time (a couple of days) and call her and tell her you miss her in your life.
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Write a poem and put it in her mailbox. Put a friendship necklace in the envelope. Ask her to call you to disucss your feelings and her feelings. In the letter tell her how you are feeling, what you want from her, ask her to forgive you, and try not to play the blame game or discuss what happened to cause the actual funk- just apologize. UNLESS you have an order of no contact. "smile".. It's mature to prevent an arguement and it allows you to get out your feelings without being interrupted and it puts the ball back in her hand to contact you IF she wants to talk. If she doesn't cool, you told her how you are feeling.
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If she really hates you, she must believe that you're the one with the problem. You should simply apologize for being a jerk and ask her to forgive you. If she does then offer to shake her hand and say "friends?" If she shakes your hand, you're friends again. THIS TIME DON'T MESS UP!
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