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Lack of Hygeine
I am a 52-year-old woman married to a 54-year-old man. Last year we "semi-retired" from well-paying corporate jobs to become long-haul truck drivers. The intent was to see the country, spend time together, and sock a lot of $$ into our retirement fund. Over the course of the past year my husband has stopped bathing, dental care, etc. He is attractive, witty and the love of my life, however, I am finding it revolting to be near him and he thinks it's my problem. Am I missing something here???
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Hmm. Maybe he let himself go without realizing it.
Talk to him- he IS your husband, after all, so you two should be able to have good communication.
Ask him to at least be courteous and to put on deodorant and to brush his teeth- it's common courtesy.
--Jack
(17/m)
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He's your husband, you should be able to tell him these things. He probably thinks you don't care, since you haven't said anything to him about it. Either that, or it's the complete opposite - maybe he's so comfortable around you that he doesn't think you'll mind. Whatever the case is, tell him if it bothers you. Or maybe you should stop bathing for awhile and put him to the test, haha.
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Positive reinforcement. The more you complain, the more he is likely to rebel and think you're a nag, although I must tell you, you are completely right. Sometimes, when our partner doesn't take the time to take care of themself, we can take it personally. Kind of like, "he doesn't care about me because if he did he would bother to make himself look nice." Part of it is probably just good old rebellion against the rat race. He had to keep up appearences in the corporate world, so now he's on strike. Whatever the reason, it isn't fair to you and you have every right to be upset. I know you're not his mother, but what would you say to a two year old to get him to do what you want. Spice it up a little and try it with your husband. Compliment him when he cleans up, and ignore him when he doesn't. Another idea is to purchase products that make cleaning on the road as easy as possible.
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god damn, I've had to go a month without showering and that made my skin crawl with a vengeance. thats not right, we had crazies in my unit a while ago that did the grunge. one reason may be he thinks its inconvenient to waste time hunting down a shower, or even finding some baby wipes to take a "whore-bath". some dudes get loopy like that when they get older in the right conditions. how about you guys take a week off of trucking and stop in a nice hotel somewhere and see what he does. it'll get that time allotment stress off of his mind if its there, and it'll get you out of confined spaces with him. unless y'all are already home from the road now(stupid me), in which case, by all means bring it to the attention of a doctor. the only way to live with the stinky kid is to be just as stinky as him, and I don't think that rates high on your option chart.
-gunner
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It could be mental health related. Not taking care of one's appearance, teeth and bathing and giving up those things are signs he's not well. Insist he see a doctor even if you have to take him yourself as this isn't normal behavior.
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