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To tell the truth or not?
When I was 16 i began dating my first boyfriend that i later lost my virginity to. Just before my 19th birthday we called it quits and i became very sexually active with different guys outside of our small town. Last year i met an amazing guy that i fell head over heels for. Wanting to be the polar opposite from our friends i deliberately gave the impression that i was a sweet innocent young lady who was very reserved. It's been over a year of dating this guy and I am now 22 years of age. I've been checked for STDS and VD and came out clean. My boyfriend and I are living together and deeply in love, but he still thinks I've only been with 5 guys including himself!!! When in reality my 'number' is around double that closer to 10 or 12!!! Yuck!! I know he doesn't care about my 'number' but i know he would care about my lie and revamping. He would never meet or run into any of the men I've been with, but I cant keep my secret anymore. Should i tell him the truth and how????
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I'd disagree with the "its none of his business" idea. If you truly love someone, efforts should be made to trust each other. And seriously, if you can't trust your boyfriend to be OK with what you did before you were with him, how far can you really trust him.
I've been where you are. My numbers pretty high, my girlfriend (4 years now) has been with a fraction of the number I've been with. I've lied about my number to make myself seem less like a manwhore.
I've never cheated, I just...well things work more easily for me I guess. It took me a few years to tell her, thankfully she's understanding and didn't really care.
If he loves you, he won't either. Just go up to him and tell him that you lied, tell him what and why, tell him the truth. Just buck up to it, and have a conversation. If he gets angry, just be apologetic and let him vent.
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You don't honestly believe he gave you his real number, do you? It is nobody's business how many people you have been with, and this is not a lie, it's more an expected fib. I'm sure he's already added three to your claim of 5, so he thinks you've been with 8. Why quibble over the other 2?
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This is like how I'll never tell any of my girlfriends that I was a total whoremonger until the army banned prostitutes last year. whats to gain from telling him? nothing except honesty. now if you're one of those people who do that, well and good, whats his reaction going to be? the worst, judging by what you've said, is that he'll not trust you as much for a few days. me personally, it'd be an "oh, so thats how she learned to do that thing I like" moment. big deal, he'll get over it. about the only way you can piss a dude off in dealing with your other sex partners, is if he finds his chick in bed with another dude. then, is the moment when the girl wishes she hadn't gotten him that springfield XD 45 in the underwear drawer for his birthday.
enjoy the pancakes you won't be getting served in bed this sunday.
-gunner
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hey there,
okay firstly your defenitaly not the only girl to have done this nearly every girl does it,all girls half the number of guys theyve been with for fear of being made out to be a slut, where as guys double the number they have been with to be made out a legend.
In my mind 10 or 12 isnt the worst ive heard of girls being with alot more,the fact that you chose to settle down shows alot and you should be proud and not ashamed.
as far as im concerned its not that big of an issue if he doesnt care about the number why tell him? its irrelevant and its also something you might not want to share I know he is your boyfriend and you are supposed to share everything but there are some things like this a girl just feels the need to keep private.
but if its truely getting you down,tell him your sorry for lying but you felt ashamed and you were afraid of what he would think of you.
your deeply in love as you say so he honestly should not care he should respect you more for coming out and telling him.
this is entirely up to you but because its something as small and insignificant(in my mind) I wouldnt bring up anything because it wouldnt give me a big consience,because i would feel ive done nothing wrong its not like you cheated on him.
But if its something you feel like he needs to know and your feeling guilty about then tell him and he should nderstand =]
Hope I helped in any way and that it works out =]
good luck,
<3
Jess
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Don't we all go through this? Rather or not to tell the man in our lives "our number"?
Well, if you feel that you can't keep it a secret anymore then tell him, but my advice would be not to.
I hate lying and I hate being lied to, but I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for 8 years, and to this day he doesn't know how many men I slept with before he and I got together. You see that doesn't really matter, because it doesn't define who I am now. The same goes for you. You were and still are young and you did something that you feel is stupid, but that doesn't have anything to do with the person you are today.
Why do you want to tell him? Has he asked you how many men you slept with?
If the answer is no to that latter question then I would definitely keep it to myself, but if he flat out asks and you feel the need own up to your "number" then do so.
In the end it doesn't matter what anyone else says, only what your conscience can stand.
I hope I helped. Good luck:)
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