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Weed is ruining my best friend and our friendship! HELP!
My best friend started smoking weed about a year and a half ago. At first she just did it on the weekends every now and again. She invited me to join her at the parties but I didn't want to so I never did go and join in. All of this time has gone by and with everything going on it sounds like she is doing something else (drugs) but I KNOW she isn't. I KNOW she isn't doing any other drugs besides the pot.
Well, anyway, she now smokes pot a lot. She smokes probably every day, usually after school (when she actually goes to school). We still talk on the phone but it's becoming clear that the weed is doing something scary to her.
My best friend has become increasingly paranoid over the littlest things. Her behaviors have changed to where it's almost impossible to be around her and not go insane!
She will only eat something if it's cut into 3 pieces or if there is only 3 pieces of it. At first I thought she was kidding around but it's become obsessive and when you ask her about it she says it's "safer" to eat in 3s but can't explain why. She is sick a lot, A WHOLE LOT, and so I thought maybe the smaller portions helps her or something but when I asked her if that was it, she got really confused and I dropped it.
She won't go out of her house after 8:27 at night. I don't know why! Like, if I ask her to spend the night she always says no and says she HAS to be home before 8:27pm. She never has any plans or anything though. It's really weird and because of that, we don't hang out so much anymore. I mean, we can't go out to movies at night, can't double date, can't go to a football game, can't spend the night at my house--because she's weird! I thought maybe that's when she wants to be high at night but I don't know. It's confusing.
Then, when Twilight came out, we were going to miss school and see it together. We totally had plans to see Twilight in the theatre that day and so I went and waited for her. She never showed up! I felt so stupid because I was waiting for her at the theater and everybody that was going to see Twilight had people to watch it with but me so I just walked out. I went and called her and she was all, "Twilight? Oh. I forgot that was today." It was a big deal to us though! I'm still mad at her over that though, but it wasn't just one time...time and time again she has not showed up for things or not been ready when I came to pick her up. She always "forgets" about the plans even if we just talked about them the day before!!!
It's just gotten to the point that she's crazy, constantly sick with something, and, well, smells bad. She always smells like pot and has met up with me without washing for a few days. It's just...disgusting. I don't want to lose my best friend but it's like I already have. She can't even tell me secrets now without making me jump through hoops for the information because she's afraid I will tell somebody. We can't do anything together because of her time restriction and her forgetfulness.
Can I save my friend and our friendship or is it not worth it any more? I'm so confused at what is happening to her but she doesn't seem to notice anything has changed. We've been best friends for a lot of years now and she wasn't like this before. What do I do?
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As stated below, that is not just pot.
The most likely explanation involves a psychological disorder. Its the threes thing that gives it away, and the words "Safe in threes"
Thats a direct symptom of certain kinds of OCD. 8:27 at night? Again, a numbers fixation.
The pot isn't helping, but she needs some kind of therapy. This is alot bigger. I agree that you can't know all she's taking, it doesn't sound like you see her all that often. She could be up to her eyeballs in Acid for all you know, but I definitely think that regardless of the role of the drugs that theres something else going on.
Honestly, I'd talk to a councilor about it. Don't mention the drugs up front, but mention the numbers fixation and the changes in behavior. Ask the councilor if theres anything that can be done, that it almost sounds like your friends has OCD and that you don't know how to help her get help if she needs it. Talk to your parents about it as well, same rules apply, leave out the drugs for now.
People have a tendency to dismiss things more easily when drugs become involved. Often ignoring signs of other help needed because they have something they don't understand that they can point out as the "likely cause" of something else they don't understand.
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This is far more than pot. Pot can't be responsible for everything you are describing, it just doesn't have that kind of power.
One: You DON'T know she isn't doing anything besides pot. Looking at her behavoir, it wouldn't surpise many people reading this if she was.
Two: Regardless of any drugs she is or isn't putting in her system, she needs help, of the proffesional and medical kind.
Tell an adult you can trust. Speak to a parent, to a teacher or someone at your school who can give you pointers. Speak to her parents.
She SHOULD be afriad you will tell someone. That kind of fear in a person is a way a mental illness protects itself. You need to blow it's cover. Do some thinking and asking around to find the most effective way to get her help, and then do the best you can to moviate the adults around her to intervene. She may never forgive you for it, but it will still be the right thing.
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It sounds to me like she's just high all the time. Being high makes you paranoid. It also gives you the munchies, causing you to potentially overeat and make yourself sick. If she forgets everything, well that's another consequence of being high. In general, weed isn't dangerous or addictive, but she could be addicted if she just wants to smoke all day, every day. It's possible that she's using another drug, or it's possible that if she's getting her weed from an unreliable dealer that it could have something else in it.
If you think she's prioritizing smoking weed over having a social life, then confront her about it. Try to be nice, but be firm. Tell her that you don't want to hang out with her any more if she's just going to be high all the time.
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