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sex
hey okay im just wondering what peoples opinions on this are; im 14 and my mom tells me to tell her when i have sex but she says that i have to wait till im 17. what if i were to have sex at 15 of something like before 17, should i tell her and she would get mad or should i not tell her and keep it from her? and like if i didnt tell her how would i get birth control?
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This is one of the biggest issues everyone female has to deal with! Your mom may tell you to wait until youre 17 and she is just being cautious, but you have the will to have sex whenever you feel youre ready for that responsiblity and experience. Just make sure it's with someone you care about and just be sure it's something you won't regret because it'll stick with you FOREVER! Now when you decide it's the right time the best thing to do is tell your mom. Besides it's your mom you should be able to tell her and she is a more grown up version of you so she can give you advice! And that way, she can give you birth control. Just remind her that you have thought this through and this is what you want, and you want to be a more responsible adult by getting birth control. She cant disrespect that. I know it's really hard to tell your mom you lost your virginity and she may be angry at first, but I promise you, she will come around and realize it's part of growing up. Good luck!!
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I personally think you should tell her. Even if she did get mad, it would be beneficial in the long run. Not only can she help you get birth control, she can pass on years of experience! (Hopefully not by telling stories.)
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You have a responsibility to tell her.
The sex life, in general, is a private affair. Many general guidelines exist like this and almost all of them are suspended with regard to parents and minor children.
You are their responsibility. Like it or not, sex is an adult behavior and you are not an adult. You live under their roof and you are their kid. You have a responsibility to make sure they know enough to be able to protect you, and you have a responsibility to try to keep the peace in your house.
Keep the peace doesn't mean you hide things and hope nothing comes to light. It means you try to work things out so they aren't a problem anymore.
Plus, you're 14. Your mom isn't ready for you to be having sex, parents always see their kids as vulnerable children. Part of nature.
At some point in the future, whenever you're ready, sit her down. Tell her that you want to go on birth control. Tell her that the reason you want to get on birth control is that you want to have sex.
At this point, she'll probably switch into nuclear meltdown mode. Stop her, calm her down, and just keep repeating "Mom, calm down and let me explain myself fully"
Explain that you aren't telling her that you've decided to have sex, but you do recognize that even if you aren't ready to have sex, you want to. The desire is there, thus the responsible thing to do is get on birth control.
She can't really say no to this. Not without being irrational and unreasonable. It doesn't sound like she is, but then your question was short.
The point of this, is that your mother isn't ready to accept her daughter as a sexual person. Doing the above blatantly shoves it in her face without putting the threat of sex directly in front of her at the same time. Emphasize that you are NOT intending to have sex now, you just want to start getting used to being on birth control. Throw in the obligatory "I've heard alot of them have different side effects, it would probably be good to have the chance to try a few and see which side effects are most easily lived with at a time when I'm definitely not having sex, thus not risking anything by changing prescription"
That argument is pretty hard to knock down.
Once your mom gets used to scheduling gyno appointments for you, getting your birth control or taking you to get it, etc etc, sex is a much smaller leap.
You get her to the point where she's expecting it and just hoping your virginity lasts rather than trying to control it herself.
This would be the adult approach. You take the responsibility upon yourself and do what you need to do for perfectly valid reasons.
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Just have sex. You dont need a parent to get birth control. Just make sure to use a condom.
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Simple solution: Don't have sex that early.
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