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Poem
Ok so for english we had to write a poem on loves and losses and i wrote this one. Please give me your honest answer on everything and if you have any ideas on how to make it better thanks!
I love you now,
I lost you yet,
I will always be here.
Don’t you fret
I know it hurts
But life goes on
I will try not to listen
To those sappy love songs,
Cause when I do,
I think of you
And what we used to be,
I just wish you would see
I gave you everything,
Yet you pushed me away,
I promise I will miss you,
Every single day
Me and you,
We can find a way,
And maybe…just maybe
We can be together someday.
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I think it's lovley and very personal.
If you want to gain more persepective from other people, just like yourself , visit
www.allpoetry.com - I'm a member on their and it's a great place to write and see what other people's take on it are!
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I hope your teacher likes it
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this is sooooooo cute i love it i wish i could write this good. is this true? or did it just pop into your head. I think you will definatly get an A+ on this.
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Hello,
You have a few grammatical errors that need to be fix, but other than that, AWESOME poem! I like it very much. It must have took you a lot of time to write that.
And here are the corrections to make your poem even better:
--Change "Cause" (in "Cause when I do") to Because or 'Cause.
'Cause is one of the two popular shortened forms of "Because," while "Cause" is not.
Example: The cats cause an uproar 'cause of the mice.
--Put a PERIOD after "But life goes on" and "Every single day."
--Change the comma after "And what we used to be" to a PERIOD.
--Change "Me and you" to "You and I" (the comma stays there).
Also, I suggest you change "not to listen" to "listen not" =)
Hope this helped,
Ng2491
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I genuinely like that poem a lot. It was really nice to listen to, and you did a great job on creating a job that describes 'loves & losses'. Good job! :D
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