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uncomfortable in math.
17/f.
In my math class their is this girl, who is a dyke, and I have nothing against gay people or anything. I actually have a friend that is gay, just to clear that up right now.
Anyway, she always does really weird things when she is sitting next to me, like she put her lighter on, or she'll stick her tongue out and be like oh this is what i do to my girlfriend! and she just says all these things about her sex life, or her parents sex life too.. its really disturbing and I don't want to hear it. She isn't usually talking directly to me, but she is talking to the girl who sits on the other side of me, who i am friends with and is really the only person i talk to in class. I personally don't like hearing about anyones sex life, no matter who they are. Its awkward and to me personal information between them and their boyfriend/girlfriend.
I feel like if I say something, I'll come across rude, because she is kind of depressed and I don't want to make it worse or anything, and she is nice besides that, I just don't know what to do. Any help?
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I personally would say something to her. Not in a mean way cuz there are ways to ask someone to stop without being rude, its just how you come off. But if you think you can't say anything to her, just ask the teacher if you could be moved, if you don't want to explain to the teacher that you want to move because of the conversations this girl likes to have, then just say you would like a better spot to see things on the board or be near someone who you know could help you better.
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If I were you, I would make things very simple. I would stay after class one day and ask your teacher if you could be moved to a different spot in the class. Just till him/her that you're not comfortable with where you're sitting. If you sit in the back, tell him/her that you can't see well because your contacts are messed up and you're awaiting an eye doctor appointment to get new ones. That way, if anyone asks, you can just say that you're having trouble seeing and there will be no problems surrounding that. It's what, May 9, you should only have a few more weeks in school, right?
It sounds like this girl is just trying to get attention. I hated that in school. People that talk about things publicly like that. It's a cry for help sort of thing.
Either way, I wouldn't get involved or say anything to her. You don't want to start drama or make things even more awkward.
I agree that she shouldn't be talking about things like that. But make it as easy as you can on yourself and just switch seats.
Darby(:
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Oh for goodness sake: This is NOT sexual harassment. This not gender-based discrimination OR sexualized behavoir directed at you or a praticular gender.
Nothing you've described here is a voilation of your human rights.
Some things are just rude and inappropraite.
Yes, it needs to stop and be addressed, but what this girl is doing is rude and inappropraite, not criminal.
The first and simpliest solution would be to switch seats with your friend who she is speaking to, so you don't get caught in the middle of these conversations.
You might also try talking to this other friend and letting her know these conversations make you uncomfortable. Maybe she doesn't mind them, or maybe she does, but she might also try to turn them off a bit for the sake of your comfort.
The second very simple and easy solution is to stop her when she begins to get too detailed and say "Look, I'm trying to work here. Please stop talking over me."
Don't worry so much about being rude. You can't walk on eggshells around unhappy people your whole life. Unhappy people who do rude things need to be told so in the same firm by friendly way any other person would be.
If none of these are things you can do simply, talk to your teacher about moving seats.
I have to add though, if you really have no problem with homosexuality, you shouldn't use the the word 'dyke'. Although I know some lesbians use it to define themselves (just like some gay guys call themselves or others fags) it's still a a word with negative and insulting conotations and should be avoided in polite conversation.
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What this girl is doing is sexual harassment. If she is making you uncomfortable in a school environment, it has to stop.
Whenever she brings up anything sexual, point-blank tell her to stop. Tell her it's way too much information, or that her sex life is her own business, and you don't particularly care to know what goes on behind closed doors.
Do not be afraid of being rude. This girl is behaving in this way to make you uncomfortable, which is rude in itself.
If she won't stop of her own accord, talk to the teacher. See if you can move seats. Even if it means sitting with people you don't talk to, it's better than sitting next to her.
If that doesn't stop her, go to the principal. Most schools have a zero-tolerance policy on sexual harassment.
Do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable at school. Nobody should have to feel awkward and intimidated like that.
Just a note: before certain other advicenators criticize other peoples' answers, maybe they should do their research... the following definition comes from the University of Ottawa website:
"Sexual harassment encompasses a wide assortment of behaviours ranging from sexist remarks to sexual assault. Harassing behaviour can be verbal (foul and vulgar language, inquiries or comments about an individual's sex life, teasing because of unattractiveness), physical (brushing up against the body, inappropriate touching, sexual assault), visual (display of pornographic pictures) or can consist of gestures (leering and ogling). "
This is most certainly a case of sexual harassment, regardless of the sexual orientation of both parties involved.
If you are being made uncomfortable through inappropriate sexual remarks, that is sexual harassment. Take action as such, and ignore those who will make light of the situation.
This is a serious matter, and needs to be dealt with.
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