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suicidal thoughts
I'm 19 and my older brother killed himself back a year ago and since then everything has been going down hill in my life. Ive lost my car, haven't been able to find any type of work and recently had to leave the college I was attending due to financial problems. Besides the fact that my mom has been a violent alcoholic my entire life and my father doesn't exist,Ive always managed to be a person who sees things from a positive point of view, but over the past few months I've been feeling alone and like my life isn't worth living anymore and like things will never get better I just don't see the point in living at all. Each day is more stressful and painful and im not sure if I can take another day. I don't want to kill myself because I know it isn't right but I'd rather not feel this pain any longer. What can I do?
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I know exactly how you feel. My life has been going up and down for years now and there is so many points that I feel like I just want to give up.
But the fact of the matter is that life is what you make it. You might feel like you dont have control of what is going on in your life but really, you do. Its your life and you will get thrown curveballs throughout your entire existence. But it is what you make of it.
I know what its like to feel alone. Most people probably do. Use that as comfort. If you feel alone because you dont have a support system in your family, try to see that you are not truly alone because there are millions of other people in the world that know exactly how you feel.
I know that when you feel like your at rock bottom, it seems like life will never get better. Like you'll always be stuck in the rut that you are in. But things will get better. IF YOU MAKE THEM. Things arent going to just magically get better. It would be a perfect world if it happened that way, but unfortunately, it doesnt. You have to make your life better. You have to find solutions to your problems. And trust me, if you do that, and you accomplish the task of improving your life, it will make you feel incredible because you know you got yourself through one of the hardest points of your life. And that alone will give you faith that nothing can ever bring you down.
Make it a goal. Set a goal that you will improve your life within the next 6 months. And make it happen. Sometimes setting a goal makes it easier because your working to make something happen within a timeline. It doesnt give you time to sit around and be depressed.
A strategy that I use to help myself when Im feeling alone and like Im at my breaking point is to think that everything happens for a reason. I dont know if you believe in God or not but I do it helps me to have faith that everything that is going on in my life is happening to make me stronger, to teach me a lesson. God would never dish you out something that you couldnt handle. It might seem at the time like you cant handle it, but He knows that you can and he is doing it for a reason.
Please Please Please dont kill yourself. It you do that, you will never be able to experience the good that life can bring. You will never be able to be given the gift of a child. You will never be able to commit your life to someone and walk down the aisle with them. You will never be able to own a house that you can call your own. There are sooo many things out there that are great and amazing and wonderful that you havent been able to experience yet. And if you take your life, you will never experience them.
I am here anytime you need someone to talk to. I would be more than happy to help in anyway I can. Please dont hesitate to contact me. I wish you the absolute best and I will keep you in my prayers.
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The answers the other advice givers gave were great. They gave good advice. I just want to add, that maybe you could find some volunteer work to do. Working with kids or with animals. That is about all there is out there now. I know there are not jobs. And a job would be a great help. But sometimes volunteer work can lead to a paying job.
Search on volunteer work in your area on google.
Check out the animal shelters. Sometimes the state governments hire kids to work at the national parks in the summers. Keep looking and hand in there. It does get better.
Good luck to you
- Michele
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when i was qrowinq up my mom was always drinkinq.
my dad was a real abusive man.
&& my biq brother was always in jail [*at fifteen)
thinq DO qet better. i know it seems horrible and impossible riqht now.
butt please dont take yourself down that road.
maybe you could just qo move in with a friend.
or another family member.
or just someone you know.
i know you feel stuck and lonely and i really wish you luck.
hope i helped.
;rachel.
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I completely understand. First off, I'm really sorry about your brother. Most people don't have good reasons, but you do. Just know that killing yourself won't be any better, and it won't help at all. Things will get better at some point, if you're strong enough to wait it out. Think back to the last time you were depressed, aren't you glad you didn't kill yourself then? I hate that I'm not experienced in this area, and that I can barely help you. If you'd like to just have someone to talk to though, I'm here.
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Ok, I understand.
First just try to relax.
Look at it this way, what your brother did must've been out of pain and regret. He never would've wanted you to go down the same road.
What he did was selfish, but he was only human.
You can't give up now, not after what you've been through. Everything in our lives happen for a reason. They teach us to respect and cherish what we have and what we love.
For the time being, you need to find someone to rely on. I know it feels like the end of the world, God, I know.
I know how it feels.
My friend went through the same thing. And it still circles in my head every so often.
But the problem here is, you're repressing some of your emotions and problems.
You need an actual person, someone you can trust, to confide in. A friend.
You need to find someone or something that can get you back on your feet.
I know you don't want to be like your brother or your father.
Don't let this consume you. Don't take the easy way out in life. It's not worth it in the end.
Another alternative is music. Try some good music that's upbeat.
Some rock, if you're into it.
In fact, if you are into Rock, try the bands Journey and Skillet.
-Separate Ways by Journey
-Rebirthing by Skillet
etc..
Once things are back together, slowly try to get back into shape.
It's not too late to resume college, you can always get a scholarship if you know how to ask and work for it.
Be a different person. Live life to its fullest. Because even in our darkest hour, there is a light that burns with hope.
That's all I can say for now, if you need some more words or advice, just contact me through here.
*By the way, go to this site, and sign up. You won't regret it. I promise. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
-XZ
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