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My Story.
14/F
My boyfriend is 5 years older than me hes 19. Me and him have been dating for 8 months done things before that but officially been dating for 8 months. My family want me to have nothing too do with him because of his age and he doesnt have the best reputation. I live in a small town everyone knows everybody and everything. My boyfriend is one of the more well known people in this town. People were shocked when I first started dating him. Im a freshman in my HS and he dropped out 3 months before his graduation this year. He says hes going to the college to get his GED but hey he doesnt seem to be awake in time to go he maybe goes 2 times max a week and not to mention hes a pot head. He smokes all the time and jokingly I said you love your pot more than me and ofcourse he just laughed and said yeah but I love you too. I gave him an option about 2 months ago between me or the pot - he picked the pot we broke up maybe for 3 days and started dating again even though he cut down on it a little bit but of course continued on his normal schedule. If anyone has delt with loving a pot head you know that it is a very complicated thing too do(or maybe its just me). I mean I want to have a future with him but I cant if this is what kind of things I have to look forward too(watching him get high and sell drugggs) I love him to death and I KNOW he loves me too. Every couple cant agree on everything. But I mean I think it would make him appreciate me more if I told him I just need a break to think things out. Hes not a very understanding person I bring up that he needs to go to college and get his life on track he says whatever and hangs up the phone. But it would be practically impossible for me to tell him I want to take a break when Im with him I would think I was CRAZY for thinking about taking a break away from him. Also, people claim he cheated on me I mean my head is telling me he didnt [I (Cant) believe it] but my heart is telling me ; He did maybe not with this girl but I think he did. [that sounded cheesyy, but thats how i feel:)] When I say dont cheat on me he FREAKS out I mean yeelling saying you think I cheat on you I love you more than anything baby I would never do that. Things like that. The thing is I became VERY clingy towards him ; it might be because I lost my virginity to him in January. I dont know why this is the first person ever but I mean I think its obbsession or something. I get so mad when he doesnt call me and he says he will. I think this is because, about two weeks ago I cheated on him and had sex with my old good friend. We were drunk and just got caught up in the momment. I stopped as soon as it went in and said OMG I cant believe this ; and called my boyfriend right away just to tell him "I love you" and to hear his voice. I havent told my boyfriend about this and I really dont want to tell him I swore to him I would never cheat on him and I know it would KILL him if I told him. I do love him but I really feel like I need too take a break away from this relationship because I dont want to wait and things to turn out worst. I think Im just having mixed feelings, my parents hate him so when I need him with me most He cant be here . I have to keep our relationship a secret but all my friends know Im head over heels in love! (:
I dont know what the question is to this whole story, but just writing down what Im going thru made me feel 100 Times better(:
Thank you if you read this and im sorry it is so longg and their really is no point to this ; but if you guys have any advice on anything or if anyone is going thru or went thru a situation I wouldnt mind hearing some stories or advice(:
Thank-you !
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You are far too young to have to deal with adult issues like overcoming laziness and a pot habit.
By that, I mean you should not be worrying about shit like this at 14. He's too old for you in a number of aways.
Growing up is not a bad thing, but growing up too fast can be. You should not be dating guys who aren't within a year or two of your age right now.
I mean, how many other of your friends are worrying about their boyfriends being worthless, worrying about if the relationship can work because he smokes weed, has no motivation, and hasn't even finished high school?
How many of them would want to?
Its easy to fall in love when you're young. My girlfriend describes 14 year old love as a bucket. You can fill the bucket, and be in love, but it doesn't take a whole lot.
As you get older, its not a bucket anymore. Its a swimming pool, a lake, eventually (hopefully) an ocean. It takes alot more to fill it because there is so much more you're capable of understanding and loving about a person as you get older.
You like this guy, and its nice to be liked in return.
Cheating is bad, but staying with someone out of guilt is worse. If you don't break it off, you're going to fuck yourself up in the head. If you do, you can find someone who isn't a high school drop out.
I'm sorry, I don't give a shit who you are, if you drop out of or fail out of high school, there is something wrong with you. Retarded kids get high school diplomas for free. There is literally zero excuse you can make.
If you find yourself thinking up excuses, stop yourself.
Why are you excusing it? Because you love him?
That won't last. I promise. You can only excuse someone's behavior for so long before you realize that your excuses give them a reason to not change. You realize that your understanding is enabling them to be worthless, and the only way to remove that is to remove yourself from the relationship, because you've been letting things be OK long enough that you can't force a change.
You're already there. You yell at him, I'm sure he just does what he wants. He does this because he knows the break up isn't coming, and your displeasure doesn't really scare him.
You need to find a smart kid your own age or a year older. What you've got now isn't healthy and isn't working. If you have to date a guy his age, find one who actually finished high school without a problem. Even if he's retarded.
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I think your parents are probably right about this guy. He's already proved you are less important than a mere weed. Any guy can sweet talk you, hes not doing anything spectacular.
You are probably aware, but since you didn't mention it I will. He is considered an adult. You are considered a minor child. If he touches you in any kind of sexual way, you parents can have him arrested and jailed for statutory rape. Even if you are a willing participant.
People in small towns talk. Your parents are bound to find out. When they do it will not be funny at all. My advice has to be to find someone else to spend your time with. This guy has to much going against him.
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i'm sorry to say, but your boyfriend doesn't seem like he's going places. do you really want to spend your life with someone who chose weed (a drug) over you? and the age difference does make a huge problem, if your parents dont approve it is for YOUR best interest. in my opinion, you dont really need to think about it. he dropped out of high school as well? you deserve better, there me attraction but my advice would be to leave him and start fresh since you've just began your high school career. there will be plenty of guys and they will have more to offer you.
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