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Mixed Feelings
15/F
Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 months ago yesterday. And for those 9 months I feel like im the ONLY ONE trying to make any effort keeping us together. For example im usually the one to call him I call him when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I see him over the weekends and sometimes at my house during the week. I think the reason he doesnt call me so much is because my parents told me I cant see him so I have to keep our relationship a complete secret from my family for 9 months. He says he loves me but I mean I talk to him maybe 3 times a day MAX and maybe 5 mins each if even that. And he says stuuff like this when I call "Hey , yeah Im doing chores right now ill call you when im done." Thats his excuse right now he said that at 11 this morning and its now 5:30 and still no call from him. I highly doubt it takes him that long too do a couple chores. And then that makes me have mixed feelings, like I try to hard to keep us together. I told him yesterday about how it makes me mad that he doesnt call me after he says "ill call you in like 10 mins" and it takes him hours or I just end up calling him. He makes me feeel like im the only one trying to keep us together and he doesnt care about us. I do want to stay with him so dont say break up with him. Do you think just not calling him for a while and see if he makes the effort to call me would be the best thing to do? Thannnks(:
Sorry it was so longggg.
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Look this may sound a little harsh, but if he doesn't care about your relationship then you should break up with him. It's going to be hard to be with someone who doesn't care about the relationship. Honestly not calling him will prolly not change anything. You should just tell him to either start making an effort or it's over. Maybe then that will make him want to attempt to call you or something to that effect.
Good Luck`
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Well... I'll tell you something about guys your age.
They like it when girls play it hard, how?
When you call your boyfriend everyday 5 times and he doesn't call back. It's like your freaking him out, lay back, give him space. Even if it takes a week for him to call you, trust he will at the end if he does care about you.
But if he didn't well that tells you he is a lying son of bitch.
There is a saying at my town "When a girl runs after the guy, he backs away. When she backs away, the guy is gonna run after her"
Good Luck =]=]
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wow... this is pretty much EXACTLY what i'm going through right now. that's so crazy.
but yeah i think you shouldn't call him until he calls you. see if he's actually in this with you. maybe he's just lazy, does he act different when you guys are actually together? i think you said he's been doing this since you guys have been together? that's actually a good sign, its probably just his personality, it drives you crazzyy i so understand you but i'd definetly try not speaking to him for awhile and see what he does. thats what i'm doing at the moment. good luck :)
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Jealousy. With-out breaking up with him, make him feel that if he doesn't try hold up his part in the relation-ship he'll lose you. Don't call him/ talk to him inless he calls/talks to you first (“hey” or “hi” are acceptable). Do you know where I'm getting at? Give him a taste of his own medicine. That's what I think though, Good luck.
-lily
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i never call my boyfriend or text him first. only when i have something to tell him, or when its an emergency. and since i do this, he always feels he has to call me first. so he does.
try that. dont call him. AT ALL. try to occupy yourself so you wont think about calling him. with that, if he really cares about you, he'll call.
if he doesnt call for awhile, (awhile being about 2 days or so?) then call him. but if you really are the only one putting any effort in this relationship, thats just too much pressure on you.
try telling him how it makes you feel. again. i know you said you tried that, but you never said what he said back. so just try talking to him, or try making him call you. and if nothing works, and you're still the only one putting effort in...im sorry but thats just going nowhere. you cant live the rest of your life calling him and being the only one who cares about your relationship. this is a two-way deal, here.
also, you cant keep this a secret from your parents forever. 9 months is a long time. but how long are you willing to date him in secret before you let your parents know? when your about to leave and go eloping? on your wedding night? when you're about to move in? you and your parents need to get on a level of understanding. tell them why you want to be with him, and ask them why they wont let you see them. try to come up with a compromise.
take care!
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Dial it down a notch. Talking to him 3 times a day max? Try once a day, max.
He's probably finding you a little clingy and obsessive. Not saying that you are, just that guys tend to think that way when they are being pursued to such an extent.
Don't stop alltogether, but try calling him every other day. He will be willing to talk longer, and more likely to call you back if he's busy.
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