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so my mom does pretty much everything in my house.. between taking care of me & my brother, laundry, dishes, errands, taking us places, working.. you name it. my dads always working so hes never home so pretty much she does everything on her own. and a lot of times she just breaks down crying because shes so stressed out. i really try helping by doing the dishes and trying to make her feel better .. and (attempting) to clean my room..put away my laundry.. and try to make it easier on her. but she still feels like i dont do enough and says i dont appreciate her. i really do appreciate everything she does, i love her, shes my mom. i dont know what else to do. i feel like i help out but i guess i dont do it enough.. i dont know whether its that im lazy or i do something that makes me seem like a mediocre daughter.. i know i should really help more and i try but i never have the drive to do it. and i dont know what to do. its actually really hard to explain and even when she yells i dont feel that bad. i do feel bad for it..but i just feel..like i have no feelings. and i dont know how to change it. i feel like i should be in tears every night trying to change myself and at least act more appreciative because i obviously dont show it. i dont know. the things i feel inside are sincere feelings and feelings of love and wanting to help my mom but i cant get myself to do it. its like i live on another planet and i cant control myself. i just end up thinking way too much and i waste my time and my moms..i know i should be helping my mom more . but whatever i do never seems like its enough. can someone advise me what to do?
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give her a free week/or day, buy her something she would like or wake up really early or sleep really late and prepare everything and clean everything before she wakes up. have breakfast for her and tell her how much you appreciate her. she really will get the message, let ur brother and father in on it. she will be very happy and you'll feel like the perfect child. it will be the best surprise and it will give her a chance to relax. if you really want to do this, think about all you have written and how your MOTHER will feel
best of luck, (awesome daughter if u do)
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Every time she does something for you, say thank you. Anything. Show her appreciation on a daily basis, she's probably starved for it.
Encourage her to talk. Don't try to advise her, just let her get it out. Give her someone to talk to and confide in.
Try to do more. Try to do all your own laundry, and help her with hers. Cook with her so that you can cook a meal once a week to give her a night off (if you can't cook a meal yet yourself).
As far as emotion, you're a normal teenager. Teens have a natural streak of independence thats designed to make them find reasons to leave home. If not, we'd all live with parents until we got married. Its understandable that you don't really feel like dealing with it yourself.
Your mother doesn't have that option. Every time you want to bitch out, remember that your mother can't, or everything comes crashing down. Thats adult responsibility, and you're old enough to recognize it and take a bit of it on yourself.
Every time you want to not do something you think you should, or that you know you easily could, think about the fact that your refusal and lack of motivation adds to the weights cracking your mother's tenuous sanity. That you not getting off your ass might well mean one more crying breakdown on her part.
If people break enough, they can't be fully put back together. You can break enough to be shattered and unrecoverable. Some people break because of one massive shattering event enters their life and completely fucks it up. Others break because their endurance is slowly drained over months or years, and eventually theres nothing left to try to put together the pieces back together, they get so used to being broken that they might not even realize it, and just live that way.
If your mother breaks too much, you will hate yourself for it when you're older. You're a good kid, and a relatively smart one. You also sound like you genuinely love the woman. Use that as your motivation. Imagine your mother crying when you feel lazy. You'll thank yourself for it later, and so will she.
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i think you should do more.. your mom is only one person she cant be doing all the work at home by herself ..you guys should do it together.. you should help your mom out and get it done faster and spend time together at the same time.. you should talk to her about what you feel and not keep it in..you shouldnt be lazy because your mom probably doesnt even noe wat lazy is cuz she works so hard... you should show her that you really do apreciate her for all the hard work she does..i think you should help her out more in the house if she says you dont appreciate her its because u really arent showin her.. show her you care and maybe she wont get soo stressed out doin it alone...glad i could help..
~>*melly*<~
female
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Maybe helping out even just a little isn't enough. Have you actually told you're mom you appreciate the hard work and effort she does everyday to support and keep the family tied together? I know my own mother, when she's stressed out because she's a homemaker as well, seems the least bit stressed when I give her a hug, tell her I love her, and express my appreciation. She doesn't like it when I feel as if I have to help out because she's stressed. Sometimes, a simple, "thanks mom, you really do mean so much to me. You do an enormous amount of work and it really makes a difference" is all she might need. Continue to help out here and there. But remember, you're a student, you're job is to get an education. Help out as best you can when you can. And just tell her you love her.
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