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How can I prevent my suicidal thoughts and depressed mood?
I am a 24 year Male from India. I am a Gay and I always wanted to live a bachelor life in peace. I graduated 1 year back and I had a problem with my family regarding my post graduation and future career. And I fractured my right elbow 6 months back in a motorbike accident because my brother forced me to learn to drive motorbike. I told him I was scared to drive. I had to undergo surgery to fix my elbow with pins and screws. It still hurts. Nobody else know that I am gay. I dont honestly want a gay marriage either.
Doctor told me I cannot lift heavy weights again. It feels terrible to think that I have to live alone with a compromised right arm all my life and I spent 3 hours finding out ways to commit suicide in google. The thought of the moment of accident is just painful. I need someone to encourage me and advice me. Please help!!!!!
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I understand what your going through. I have not been through it. But I can help. You could get phsyical Therapy for your elbow and have full use of that arm. Also being gay is not something to hide. You need to sit your family down and let them know. They will hate it at first. But as time goes on your family will come around. They will not like it at first and they may say some nasty things too you. They may also shun you. But other families open their arms to the son. It really depends on the family. But you can also just go out and meet other gay guys. If your not ready to come out to your family then they don't need to know. When your ready you will know. But in the mean time go out have fun. Who knows maybe you wil find a boyfriend. If you need anything let me know. E-mail me or anything! I am all ears anytime!
Good Luck!
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Well...
Being gay is alright. I found it diffcult at first when i found out i'm bisexual, but i don't care anymore as long as I'm happy and enjoying every minute of it.
You should enjoy being gay, i mean being unique is fun and different,but different in a good way and a chance to experience new stuff.
About your elbow, i totally understand what your going through, but we have different situations.
Well you see .... I love speeding, and I love cars. But i also love drinking.
One night, i made my sister's boyfriend to borrow my mother's new car and we were all drunk on a bridge. We had a horrible car accident, it was so bad the car flipped and no one had the seat belt on.
We crashed into a cab driver who past away, and we made him leave his wife and children. We crashed my mother's car. My friend is paralyzed, and I couldn't walk for 7 months. I had to quit soccer and until now i walk funny.
And also every time i ride a car, my heart speeds so fast, i would start to panic. The image would come back of the accident and i blame myself for everything, i know i shouldn't but it happens against my will. But you know what happens afterwards, i smile and move on, to new things. I'm happy i learned my lesson. And when they tell you, your life flashs in front of your eyes, it's true but only your sins you see.
So i will only advice you to smile, and move on. And please don't blame your brother for it, no one can make anyone do something.
And if it would make you feel better you can see a doctor.
Good Luck =]=]
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I cant honestly tell you I understand what you are going through, because I dont. But I can help you. Last wednesday my friend (male) went through open heart surgery for 8 hours. 4 of the 8 hours, his heart was stopped, it was a 50% chance of them getting his heart to start pumping again. Even though he survived the surgery, he cannot go on a rollercoaster, lift weights, run, or participate in any physical activities whatsoever for the rest of his life.
Im extremely sad for you that your elbow is hurt, its obviously not fun at all. But you can take on other things too, because at least you have other options. How about soccer? that focuses mostly on legwork, so you dont need uper body strength. You sound like a very smart person, and even if you dont know it, your family really cares about you.
Sometimes we dont realize what we have in front of us, until we loose it.
What I am trying to say is that Im sure your brother didnt intentionally make you go on a motor cycle to hurt you. And your family really does care about you, as well as your friends.
Suicide is simply not the answer. You are much better than that.
Sometimes we all just need to forgive and forget, and hey, maybe you can just lift smaller weights, for now.
As for being gay, I think thats great. Its who you are, and thats okay. You are no different than anyone else, just that you like the same sex as you. I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with that. If anyone doesnt accept it, than they will just have to live with it. Your never going to change, so they mine as well live with it, get over it, and still see you for who YOU truely are, not who you like.
If you need anymore help, you can always talk to me.
Never get down on yourself, and live life the way YOU want to live it. :-)
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Hi. Just another perspective. I am middle-aged and fell down stairs five years ago, breaking two bones in an ankle. Surgery, pins, screws, and a cast for two months, then using a walker for a month after the cast was removed. I was told it would never be quite normal again, and that it would develop into arthritis, etc. Well, after the initial few months of pain and learning to support my weight on that leg, it has been fine. Some swelling at night and minor problems, but day to day I don't even think about it having been broken so badly. The pins/screws are still in the bones and will stay, but they also are forgotten. Five years later, and much older than you, no arthritis or stiffness. I think if you stay active after you have fully healed, you will soon forget about your elbow troubles.
As to being gay, instead of looking on the internet for ways to end a promising, beautiful life, look for groups to join for support, either in person close to where you live, or on-line that you can write to whenever you feel depressed. Some degree of depression is natural when you are dealing with things that seem overwhelming, but you do need to reach out either to someone in person or a group on the internet if you feel close to wanting to kill yourself! There are sooo many other men and women in the world who are feeling or have felt depressed in your situation. But, think about how good it does feel to know that you live in a time in history when most people in the world either could care less if you are gay or support your right to choose to love and be attracted to your same sex. If you feel you are surrounded by people that are not supportive of your rights, find people that do! Find a group that is filled with love and laughter and you soon won't care what the negative people that were around you have to say!
About your brother: I'm certain he feels spiritually every bit as bad about the accident as you do physically. He probably had insisted upon you learning to drive the motorbike with some nice outcome in mind. Did he think you would have a greater sense of freedom? Did he want you to know the joy he felt when riding? There must have been some reason he was insistant. Do you think he wanted you to be hurt? No. But now you both are in different ways. The only way to get over this is to go through it. Tell him you realized that he never intended for you to get injured. Forgiving him will be more healing than holding on to resentment ever could be. It could also be the first step to opening up to him about the feelings of depression/suicide you've been having, and perhaps he can ultimately be a way to begin to feel more at peace with all of this that has been going on in your life.
Focus on the fact that you have a good education, are young, and have so much to look forward to!
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Being gay is not something to be ashamed of. I really think you should see a therapist to help sort your problems out, but remember you are you no matter if you like men/women or if your tall/small or fat/skinny. It does not matter people will love you for who you are no matter what and if they do not accept you for who you are then they are not worth your time. I am also sure that your brother was not trying to hurt you he just wanted you to try something new, i also can see that he is probably very upset about you getting hurt in the first place, don't worry everything gets worse before it gets better. So, just take everything day by day, it'll get better. Just really think about seeing a therapist it'll help.
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you should find a good therapist, and take the time now with your arm healing to figure out where you want your life to go. maybe you need to move to a different city/state, pursue the carer that you want, ect...dont kill yourself.
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