Member Since: March 26, 2009
Answers: 7
Last Update: May 1, 2009
Visitors: 1480
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I'm making a slideshow for and about my friends. I want some songs that might go good with that. If you have any it would be great, thanks! (link)
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"Thank you for being a friend" by Andrew Gold.
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my first love just broke up with me because he needed to focus on school. it absolutely destroyed me..he says he still loves me..what are the chances of getting back together? and we're still going to prom together and he says he still wants me in his life...what should i do? i'm still so in love with him =/
17/f (link)
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Hi. It sounds like your boyfriend is being very practical and mature. The end of the school year is near, and he can see that this is the time to really get serious and get good grades. If he is graduating this year, this could affect his chances of getting into a good college, and essentially, affect the rest of his life. He is actually being a really great guy, trying to be sure that he has a way to support you in the future if you stay together as adults. There is one way you can prove just how much you love him: tell him you understand that he needs to do this and that you'll stay faithful. That you will look forward to summer plans together. Another thing: if you have any classes together, ask him to study (and REALLY DO study) those subjects, then leave him alone so he can concentrate on his other classes. This would show that you appreciate his hard work, and would give you some quality time together, show him that you also take school as seriously as he does, and that in the future if he needs to do something important that you are going to be someone who will be there for him. Look at this period in your lives as a growing, maturing time. Show him just how loyal and strong you can be for him. Good luck!
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Me & my fiance are planning on getting married in October. I really like his parents, but his family & my family are like complete opposites. His parents are super-strict Christians, while mine curse a lot.
We were planning on maybe doing a Halloween themed wedding, but as soon as we told his parents that they freaked out. So, I was trying to I guess bargain with them so I said the wedding will be more fall themed & the reception is going to be Halloween themed.
Like most girls, I've dreamed about my wedding since I was young, & I've never wanted a classic wedding. Me & my fiance are metal-heads, sort of. We love metal music, tattoos, & piercings, so everyone who knows me knows my wedding is not going to be the classic wedding. I was telling his mom about the dress I picked out which is white with red designs on it, & she started saying that wearing anything but white isn't scared or something.
Then we brought up the music, because we will be playing metal music & I won't be walking down the aisle to the classic "here comes the bride".
Again, she said that it's not sacred & we should want "God's blessings". I believe in God, sure, but I just think they take things a little too far. She didn't even like the idea of possibly using black & orange flowers (because black is the symbol of death).
I really like his parents & I've been breaking my neck trying to be respectful when I'm around them (they have a super strict dress code), but this is my wedding & I want it my way, but I just don't know what I can do to not upset them.
Any advice? (link)
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Hi. First off, this does NOT bode well for your future as a combined family. Your fiance should have made it clear to his parents long ago that he is interested in metal, goth, and other things that are much different from the way he was raised. If he can't discuss this with them and let them know that your wedding will reflect your mutual interests, not their strict ideals and beliefs. Not only is it YOUR wedding, but the years following are to be according to you and your future husband's wishes and interests. They need to understand that they will have to like it or lump it, so to speak. It is nice that your fiance wants to be respectful of his parents, but this should only go so far, or there will be misery and avoidance ahead. He will be constantly trying to please himself and you, and trying to balance the wishes of his parents. Have his explain to his parents that he doesn't want to let their relationship run into problems and avoidance, but that they need to respect the fact that you will all have to agree to disagree on the wedding plans. If they can't accept it, they will not accept a lot of things where you're concerned, unfortunately. A big part of being mature enough to go through a marriage together is facing these challenges. If you don't think he can stick up for you and what you both want, maybe a lot of things need to be reconsidered in this case. Good luck, stay firm, and be true to who you are and what you want. I don't think you need to be disrepectful to your future in-laws, but do assert yourself right from the start. If you stay strong and firm, they will be the ones to come around if they have a true desire to stay in their son's life.
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Well I've been married goin on about a year, I love my wife, we've been together since middle school, and we've been havin sex since middle school! Its always been, good you know the basic sex life! Well here's the problem, I've always told her to up her anty u know(get a lil crazy in bed) well since we've been married she has, well not quite what I expected, she likes me to slap her and choke her, I've never been that wild, so I act like I love it, but I really can't stand it! I jus don't know how to tell her? I don't wanna break her heart or be rough durin sex, wait it gets worse we have sex every night, and before it was 3 times a month, please I need some advice, what should I do? (link)
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Hi. Every couple's sex life is unique, and it's hard for an outsider to help with so little information, but this is my two cents' worth. Since she has only (probably) had sex with you because you've been together since you were so young, she probably has no idea what you were trying to ask for when you wanted to get wilder in bed. She may have heard about or seen this type of action in a movie, and thinks that is what you want. You should definately have described what you wanted instead of making her guess. Another thing: practically no woman on the planet sincerely wants sex daily. It hurts after the third or fourth day in a row, even with adequate lubrication. It seems as though she's afraid you are going to stray if she isn't fulfilling your needs at home. Because you've asked for more, she's going to make darn sure you have so much sex that you'll have no interest in getting it elsewhere. What you need to do is be very, very honest at this point. If not, you are doomed in this relationship. She is feeling insecure and you are just plain worn out and kind of scared of her. You have nothing to lose by opening up, and everything to gain. Don't hurt her feelings, though. Tell her that you realize she was trying to please you, but that you just can't keep up the pace! You've grown up together to this point. The next step is to learn to talk about what you truly want in the bedroom to stay compatible. Keep the conversation sweet and light, don't be negative, but do be honest. You may be surprised to hear that she'll be relieved to soften and slow things down, too. Good luck!
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Hi! I am looking for a job in the summer. ONLY the summer because I have to focus on school during the school year. I am 16 years old and a girl, and have no work experience. I want to make some money, but I also don't want to spend every single day working..so I was thinking about working only a few times a week (maybe 3-4?)
I was wondering where to start? And where would I go/talk to to get an application or inquire about jobs? (link)
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You should realize that there are so many adults right now desparate for work as well. You may do better by thinking of looking for work where you won't be competing with adults at all. Even though you don't have work experience, you do have skills, if you think about it. Are you responsible and trustworthy? Think about offering to babysit. This is something you could do only a few hours per week, or, if you want more money, work more if you like it and are comfortable. If you play an instrument, look in the newspaper to see if someone needs a part-time keyboardist, etc. If you like gardening, ask at the nearest greenhouse if they need someone to do manual labor with the plants. Just think about what you like or do well and also what you can offer to do that most adults wouldn't want to because it would not be enough money/hours/benefits to support a family. You're only a kid once and will have to work the rest of your adult life, so at this point I recommend doing something you really enjoy and don't worry tremendously about the money. You never know -- the experiences you could have could be worth a whole lot to you later in life.
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I am a 24 year Male from India. I am a Gay and I always wanted to live a bachelor life in peace. I graduated 1 year back and I had a problem with my family regarding my post graduation and future career. And I fractured my right elbow 6 months back in a motorbike accident because my brother forced me to learn to drive motorbike. I told him I was scared to drive. I had to undergo surgery to fix my elbow with pins and screws. It still hurts. Nobody else know that I am gay. I dont honestly want a gay marriage either.
Doctor told me I cannot lift heavy weights again. It feels terrible to think that I have to live alone with a compromised right arm all my life and I spent 3 hours finding out ways to commit suicide in google. The thought of the moment of accident is just painful. I need someone to encourage me and advice me. Please help!!!!!
(link)
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Hi. Just another perspective. I am middle-aged and fell down stairs five years ago, breaking two bones in an ankle. Surgery, pins, screws, and a cast for two months, then using a walker for a month after the cast was removed. I was told it would never be quite normal again, and that it would develop into arthritis, etc. Well, after the initial few months of pain and learning to support my weight on that leg, it has been fine. Some swelling at night and minor problems, but day to day I don't even think about it having been broken so badly. The pins/screws are still in the bones and will stay, but they also are forgotten. Five years later, and much older than you, no arthritis or stiffness. I think if you stay active after you have fully healed, you will soon forget about your elbow troubles.
As to being gay, instead of looking on the internet for ways to end a promising, beautiful life, look for groups to join for support, either in person close to where you live, or on-line that you can write to whenever you feel depressed. Some degree of depression is natural when you are dealing with things that seem overwhelming, but you do need to reach out either to someone in person or a group on the internet if you feel close to wanting to kill yourself! There are sooo many other men and women in the world who are feeling or have felt depressed in your situation. But, think about how good it does feel to know that you live in a time in history when most people in the world either could care less if you are gay or support your right to choose to love and be attracted to your same sex. If you feel you are surrounded by people that are not supportive of your rights, find people that do! Find a group that is filled with love and laughter and you soon won't care what the negative people that were around you have to say!
About your brother: I'm certain he feels spiritually every bit as bad about the accident as you do physically. He probably had insisted upon you learning to drive the motorbike with some nice outcome in mind. Did he think you would have a greater sense of freedom? Did he want you to know the joy he felt when riding? There must have been some reason he was insistant. Do you think he wanted you to be hurt? No. But now you both are in different ways. The only way to get over this is to go through it. Tell him you realized that he never intended for you to get injured. Forgiving him will be more healing than holding on to resentment ever could be. It could also be the first step to opening up to him about the feelings of depression/suicide you've been having, and perhaps he can ultimately be a way to begin to feel more at peace with all of this that has been going on in your life.
Focus on the fact that you have a good education, are young, and have so much to look forward to!
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I am female that just turned 18 the other day. There is this guy that I am interested in and I just started admiting my true feelings recently. We've only known each other for a few months but it feels like we've known each other a lot longer.
I've known for a while now that he likes me but I kept second guessing my feelings for him. At first I was overwhelmed by the attention that he was showing towards me. It was something I wasn't use to receiving very often (seeing as at the time I was 17 & never had a boyfriend). The more time we spent together the more affectionate and agressive he became.
Even though we aren't "officially" together he constantly tells me he loves me and calls me little pet names. Over time I have grown some strong feelings for him. In fact I think I'm falling in love with him. Still I hadn't mustered up the courage to let him know exactly how I felt. It was because of his bad boy mentality and the close relationship he has with my sister that I was being so hesitant.
Around the same time I decided to put everyhing on the table and possibly start a relationship with him things got complicated. Me and him had sex and it was the first time I had sex. I wasn't forced into it but I still wasn't anticipating it. It happened faster than my brain could grasp what was going on. Afterwards I didn't know how to act around him. We had sex before I could even let him know how I felt.
We didn't get an opportunity to really talk about what happened. I was really confused and disappointed in myself. I came to terms with it and we we finally became halfway normal again. Even though we still weren't a couple.
I recently moved in with my sister and he spent the night and we had sex again (a month after the first time we did it)... This time I was aware of what was going on and I wanted it. He spent the night again the next night and woke me up and told me to follow him and when I walked in the room he said,"Let's do it!" Some way or another he ended up covincing me to do it even though I didn't really want to. Then afterwards he just said goodnight and that was it... The next day was my birthday and instead of him getting me something (which I didn't mind because he's not entitled to get me anything and he doesn't have money like that right now) he asked me for money and I gave it to him. Is he using me?
He really confused me because one day he asked me why I act like I don't love him and I asked him to explain what he was talking about and he wouldn't. Then the later in the same day he asks me if I want to be his "sis" as in play sister! I told him no and he asked why not. I then asked him what would I get out of that, he replied that he wouldn't mess me like that any more! That completely threw me for a loop (mind you this is my birthday). Then he refers to me as his sis to someone else. Later in the same night he started flirting with me again and acting the way he always does!
What does he want from me?!?!? It feels like he's just using me sometimes but because I know him I don't think that's it. Also I wondered if he even wants a relationship. This is driving me crazy!!
Please help me!
oi (link)
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Hi. Sweetie, you are waaaay too good for this loser. He is a classic example of a guy using a girl. Oldest tricks in the book for using someone for sex! He is using you for sex, to stroke his ego, now for money, and it is only going to get worse. The more you allow, the more he is going to ask from you, or simply just take from you. The best thing for you to do, if you don't feel you can stay away from him if you are in the same area of town as he is, is to find a relative or friend in a different area to stay with until you can break your addiction to him, which is what it is becoming. This is a very, very important time in your life. How you feel about yourself and your sexuality now imprints on your soul for the rest of your life. You need to reset and break away from this guy. He may not let you go without a fight now that he has you where he wants you. Don't mistake his attention for real feelings. The attention you get from him feels good, especially since you haven't really gotten it from others in the past, but you need to look for someone that is an equal partner. You need to see yourself as better than this creep. Would you want a child with this guy? Would you want to be tied to him for the next eighteen years if you got pregnant? Would he ever really step up and take care of you the way you deserve? Please do know that if you see yourself as special and deserving of a great friend and eventually husband, he will come. It took me until I was 22 to find someone that I admired and that admired me in return. We've been married twenty years. Step away from this, even if you can't leave town. Turn yourself into someone you can always be proud of! Hang out in a library or coffee shop, someplace where a different sort of guy hangs out. Seem happy and confident and no matter what you look like (or think you look like) you will naturally be attractive to nice guys. Stay safe and please love yourself enough to be strong!
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