Okay well ive been dating this guy for about 2 months now and every thing is perfect but ther is one thing that is bugging me he is still really cool with his ex and she still likes him i mean he tells me everything like what she tries to do and stuff like that she knows he is with me and she does not like me at all (i really dont cre about all that) but she texts him all the time tries to come see him and asked him to come over her house im kinda stunned i really dont knw what i should do i mean ive been done so wrong in the past and i dnt wnna put all my troubles on him but i just need help
itdependsonyoux3 answered Sunday April 5 2009, 10:13 pm: It's good that he tells you everything, because then he is less likely to hide anything from you.
She is obviously really pissed that he is with you, and that must eat her up inside knowing she can't have him. Many people want what they can't have. It's like a natural instinct, some are just better at controlling it. But put your mind at ease. You have nothing to worry about until you suspect that there's something going on. always go with your gut instinct, if you think that he's bieng sketchy, go figure it out and ask him about it or her.
If something is bothering you, and obviously this is, talk to him. you are both in this relationship and if you want to be re-assured then put your troubles on him, if it affects your relationship, then you need to re-evaluate everything. I honestly think you have nothing to worry about unless they are constantly hanging out and he is also trying very hard to see her also. and if he starts hanging out with you less just to try to be with her, that is also a HUGE warning sign. But as the other advicenator said, you will know he cheated, unless he has done it before sneakily. like over text or something.
But communication is key. the only way you can solve everything, is to talk to him :] talk. talk. talk.
Hope I helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me [i've been a similar situation to this, so i can relate :)] good luck hunni! xxo [ itdependsonyoux3's advice column | Ask itdependsonyoux3 A Question ]
anonymousme answered Sunday April 5 2009, 9:08 pm: It's likely that if you tell him that it bothers you, he will list reasons why you have nothing to worry about.
If this is the case, it could mean that you really don't have anything to worry about, or that he's defending her & you do...it depends on what kind of a person he is & the way he reasons...but you might not know that side of him yet, after only 2 months.
One thing that is very reassuring is that he tells you things about her. It might aggrivate you, but this tells you that he isn't hiding anything.
I do think that him going to her house is a bit of a stretch, though. Although if they were friends before they dated, it would be less of a stretch. It sucks because it's not like you can/should go there with him because she doesn't like you for whatever reason & that's the kind of thing only married couples do...or couples of like years...or those of one or both clingy people.
Maybe if you told him that you're uncomfortable, you could ask what he was doing at her house (not in a maternal "Where were you?" kind of tone.) or if it was just him & her, or if other people were there, too.
Good luck.
It'll be obvious if he cheats [ anonymousme's advice column | Ask anonymousme A Question ]
Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content. Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.