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I'm so done being a push-over.
18/F I had a friend agree to come to my house and give me a voice lesson. I offered to pay her and she said she'd be over. She didn't show up on time nor did she call me back after I left her a message. I'll admit, she's not a very reliable person, but how do I let her know I'm not okay with this. Usually when a friend backs out of plans with me, I'll say : "it's okay, no worries..." because it truthfully doesn't bother me that much, but it doesn't mean I want people to treat me like this. So basically, how should I respond when someone doesn't make me a priority?
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First of all, I personally believe it does not really matter how someone else treats you as long as you are a nice person and behave in an appropriate manner with others. Please do not bother what others think about you as long as you stand firmly on the truth. Often it happens people will not like you or ignore you just because you tell the plain truth. If she did not keep her promise for teaching you the lesson, I guess that is her problem that she cannot act as she promises. Her ignorance towards you does not take anything away from you as a person. You are as good as you were before she ignored you. I guess you should have called her when she did not show up in time. When you meet her the next time simply let her know you did not like her absence. If she continues to behave the same way, no need to have a friend like that who can not keep her promise for no good reason. Just imagine, someone who cannot keep a simple promise, where she will be in your bad times. The old proverb holds true here: " A friend in NEED, is a friend INDEED!" Hope I have been able to answer you.
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I have the same problem all the time. I think the phrase "no worries" comes out of my mouth more than anything else. Confrontation is always wicked awkward for me so I tend to phrase it in a way that doesn't sound like I'm blaming the other person. You could say something like "I noticed you were late and didn't return my phone call, so if you're too busy to give me lessons don't worry about it. I completely understand." On the other hand, if you don't feel awkward letting her know that you're not happy with her(which is probably best)then I guess my answer won't really be much help.
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without yelling or acting angry, say it hurt your feelings that they did that, and tell them you wouldn't do that to them. maybe they didnt know how you felt. they probably did, but you telling them your upset will make them see what they did wrong and they will treat you better next time hopefully. if they continue to treat you like a last priority, then move on. who needs a friend like that?
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When I read this, my first thought was that you should do the same thing to her next time she asks you to do something, but then I thought it over.
Because I myself have issues with acting like a pushover, then getting annoyed afterward, but, strangely, I'm never passive-aggressive...?
Maybe, if this happens again, you should call her and ask where she is and about how long it will be until she arrives at your house. But, of course, she might not answer the phone like you said she didn't above.
When you see her in person, you should ask her what happened & why she didn't show up.
This advice probably isn't very good. Seeing as I'm the type of person who has problems with confronting people, yeah.
She really won't have any other option but to answer your question, though, if you're standing face-to-face when you confront her.
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