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Should I stay or should I go?
Okay, right about now,my life isn't so great. I don't have any close friends, absolutly hate the close minded town i live in, and can't stand my family! I want to get away from it all,and the only way I can do this is by moving in with my dad who lives in another state. See,theres some problems with this though. My brother (who i hate, no,not the kind of hate thats like "he's still your brother"-he's deffinatly no brother to me.) moved with my dad about 3 years ago. He hated it there and fought with my dad all the time so he moved back here. Now,my brothers a very controlling person and always believes he's right(he also breaks everything.) But its so much more as well. Thats how my dad used to be,but he changed. I honestly believe my dad's a much better person now-he's just much more happier. We're also interesting in the same things;music,acting. Anyways, i told my mom i was depressed here and wanted to move away with my dad and she completely flipped out. My moms very mean,not caring.She doesn't care about my feelings what so ever. She thinks my dad's giving me ideas to live with him. I really want to move in with my dad,but she refuses. It's really bad though,because my dad made a credit card under my mom's name and she might have to pay 800 dollers. I'm mad at him for that, but i'd rather be with him than live with my brother and mom for another day.I just want to move so bad, but i feel like theres so many things on both sides telling me to go and not to go. I'm 16,so i have a choice,right? The only friend i told about this didn't understand, so this is really the only place i can go to. Should i stay,or should i go? sorry this is really choppy by the way, i'm just really sad. thanks for the advice though everyone
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Sometimes people will act a certain way when their living situation is not healthy. This could be the reason for your dads past actions. Just because your brother didn't like it with your dad dosen't mean you won't. I don't know how your mom took to your brother going to live with him but she did let him come back. So if you do decied to go try to explain to your mom that you feel like this is something you have to do. If she flips out try not to get into an argument with her because that will make it worse. If it would help try to get your dad involved. He could help in trying to sway your mom. Don't just leave without saying anthing you want to keep the camunication open incase you ever have to go back there. The better you handle this the better the return will be. Hopefully if you do leave then everything will go well for you.
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I'm going to warn you. You said that your dad acted like your brother before, but now he's changed?
People do not change.
I've tried so many times to convince myself otherwise. Life will mold you in little ways & change slight characteristics & slight tendencies, but you made it sound as though your brother is a threat...and I know many people like that. My father is just like that...and he's very threatening. He's bipolar & unmedicated/untreated. But they don't change. He hasn't changed one bit since I started to harbor visible hatred toward him.
I wouldn't tell you that it's dangerous to live with your dad because...I don't know your dad. But, then again, I don't know your mom. I don't know you.
I do know that the whole thing with him making a credit card under your mom's name...along with the uncontrollable behavior...does not make him sound like someone anyone should live with.
So, in answer to your question, I think you should stay.
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I almost fell out of my chair when I read how similair your situation is to mine haha :) guess we're in the same boat. My mom, as well, flipped when I mentioned moving in with my dad in Florida. I haven't done it yet, but I'm planning on writing a letter to my mom. I think it's easier because you get to think about what to say and there isn't any yelling or crying if you're not there when she reads it. Plus sometimes when she flips out, I accidently say stuff I probably shouldn't say, as it creates more screaming and crying and havoc. So, in writing the note, I think she'll listen better because I won't be around when she reads it for her to scream at me so she'll have time to let it soak in. As for if you should stay or go, I think you should do what will make YOU happy. I have a pretty good life here, but I know if I move I would have a fabulous life whether or not I make a lot of new friends because my life at home won't be crazy and emotional like it is now. I am fully for the idea of getting the heck out of here, and it sounds to me like you are too. If I were you, I would move, but that's just my opinion. I wish you luck :) hope you get through to your mom!
-Jessica 15/f
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