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I want to move but my mom won't let me...
15/f
My parents got divorced last summer after my dad found out my mom was cheating on him. So they've been divorced for about a year now and my mom got married to the guy she cheated on my dad with about a month after the divorce was final. My dad was heartbroken for a while but eventually found someone he's totally in love with and they're engaged. Basically, when they were getting a divorce, my dad wanted to make it quick and clean so as not to cause any emotional stress to any of us kids [My older brother (16), and my two little sisters (8 and 9)]. So he offered to be the one to move out and allowed my mom to have custody of us kids because transportation to and from school would be easier if we lived with her. So he moved into a small house close to our house so us kids could walk to his house anytime we wanted. Well, for a while after he met this women, my dad and his current fiance tried having her move down to where we live so he could stay here. However, her entire family lives in florida and her 20 something son has some sort of brain and spinal cord disease so she felt better moving back. Of course, my dad loves her very much so he wanted to go with her. Well, my mom had a MAJOR problem with this. She threatened to go to the law and everything all because she didn't want my older brother (he just came back from running away with his preggo girlfriend and was put under house arrest. He basically hates my mom with a passion because she told him he was going to hell because he told her he was bi -_-) to come live with us (he was living with my dad). So my dad asked a judge about it and fixed it so my brother was able to go to florida with him. Now, I don't exactly HATE my mom. I do, however, think she's stupid and lives in her own perfect fantasy world in which she pushes all things in her life that are bad away. So no, I don't hate her, but I do have major problems with her that she doesn't currently know about. My dad and my brother are basically my lifeline. They keep me living and sane and I'm very close to both. The mean the absolute world to me, especially my dad. So, I guess you can say I'm the "good teenager". I haven't done anything really bad because I went through my "rebelious phase" when I was like 13 and now I'm over that crap. I've never done anything wrong, so my mom keeps me around to stay in her "perfect" litte family, unlike my brother who she made move in with my dad. Also, because I'm the oldest girl, I think she thinks we have some sort of special mother-daughter relationship. After my dad moved, I thought I'd be able to handle not being able to see him and hang out with him, but I'm losing it. I guess I'm not literally going crazy, but everytime my mom says something I want to scream at her and run to my room and pack my bags. It's just that everthing she says is so...stupid. For example, We went to see "The life of Benjamin Button". We were sitting there, halfway through the movie and she leans over and whispers "Now, is this based on a true story?" -_-. And she says things that equal that level of stupidity everyday. So yeah, losing it here. I REALLY want to move to Florida. I can make new friends I don't care. All I care about anymore is living with my dad and being happy. I've told my mom I've wanted to move before. Everytime I bring it up with her she breaks down crying and says "If you leave now, I'll never get you back". I've pointed out that the guy she married knows NOTHING about kids and taking care of them and being a father, whereas my dad's fiance at least has experience so I wouldn't be without some type of female guardianship. I told her I'd keep in touch with her if I moved. I've told her about the educational benefits of me going to this really cool art school down there. I've told her all this stuff and told her I'd be happier if I lived with my dad but she just WON'T listen. She cares more about her own happiness then mine. So I'm held captive here. My dad knows I want to live with him. My dad is trying to help me move down there. However, he said it wouldn't be a good idea to cause a big uproar and upset her. Apparently everytime I say something about moving to my mom, she calls my dad and freaks out on him saying he's telling me to say things and trying to steal me away. I've even told her that he's not telling me to say anything and that I can think and speak for myself. So, my dad doesn't want me to get mad at her and I'm basically "playing along" until he comes here and we "talk it out" with my mom. And I have no idea when that will be. I feel like my dad is trying, but he doesn't want to 'scar me emotionally'. Which, it's pretty much too late for that. So he's telling me to keep the status quo, she thinks I'm just fine and peachy because I haven't brought up anything about moving, and I'm incredibally unhappy with my current living situations. I just want to move. I just want to be happy. Please, please help. I'll take any advice I can get. Also, thanks for taking the time to read all of this. Thank you SO much.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I'm actually gonig through the same thing and my mother just yelled at me with her boyfriend... It just made me so angry. I've been going through the same thing for about a year now and I've tried just about everything. It takes time no matter what you do. I've yelled back,refused to do something, tried to be nice but none of it works. There is one thing you can do though. Go to you school counselor and talk to her. This will work, I promise you. Your not alone, stay strong.
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Perhaps, out of fairness, you could tell mom you want to live with your father over summer vacation. Tell her you want to spend some consistent time with him. You could raise the point that it's not fair that she require you to give up your relationship with your father, whom you also love, just so she can have you all to herself. Tell her, "I love you mom, but I also love dad and want to spend this summer with him.
See how it goes from there. Maybe you'll want to come back after the summer. If not, then you can make arrangements to vacation with him over the winter, too, if all goes smoothly.
Sometimes, it's best to take things incrementally and not all at once.
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Why don't you tell your dad you want to try and talk to your mother one more time. Sit down with her and look her in the eyes. Ask her to hear you out and to listen to when you have to say. Tell her you love her but you are not happy with the living situition. Let her know your not happy and what you aren't happy with. Tell her how much you miss your father and your brother and you are torn between your mother and father. Let her know when you get the oppurtunties to come back and see her you will take them. Ask her think about me this time mom not you self. I really need this I have been very upset lately and I just want to be with my dad ** this worked for my little brother**
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