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special person+sex=???
I know people are like supposed to wait until they personally think they are ready for sex and stuff... but here is my question.
So my boyfriend and i have been going out almost a year now. He is really special to me and feels like THE one for me... like he has helped me get through some hard times and I can't imagine my life without him. Personally, i know I am not ready for sex. Like, i know I could not live with any of the things that could happen (eg. pregnancy), and he is ok with that decision too. Of course, we would both LIKE to do all that kind of stuff... I mean it's not like we think it's that bad, we just worry alot about regretting making that decision due to things that could happen. It seems like, though, that sex at this age (17-18) is kind of expected, especially for the people that have the kind of really deep relationship that we have. I guess my question is, should we take the risk of the things we worry about and go to the next level to make our relationship even more special, or do you think that starting this kind of stuff so young will only pull us apart?
I know it is supposed to be a personal choice based on maturity, etc... but i just wanna know what you think.
thanks
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Believe it or not your relationship is already special! Having sex will not make it any more so.
I don't know that having sex would pull you apart. Nobody could answer that with any certainty. Everyone is different. It won't magically make you closer either.
Young people, and I speak from experience here, just do not usually think of the long term consequences of having sex. It is really nice to hear from someone who is in a relationship and who is actually thinking about the seriousness of it all before jumping right into having sex.
Sex is more than just something to make you feel good. It comes with big time responsibilities. Even using contraceptives is not a 100% guarentee
that you won't become pregnant.
If you have plans for education or careers beyond high school, having sex may be a risk you don't want to take. Its a good idea to know what your partner would do if a pregnancy should occur. What would you do? Would you marry? Could you afford to raise a child?
I know it may sound ridiculous, and of course most teens couldn't even begin to afford to take on that responsibility. Even those who are very mature about it. But, they take the risk anyway.
Some, if they use proper birth control, get by.
Others get caught despite good intentions.
If you decide to have sex, the most reliable form of birth control is you on the pill and him in a condom. That is as safe as you can be. I'm not telling you not to do it. Just do it in the safest way possible. Don't take big risks, and don't think you can get away with it just once.
I think you know that, but others reading may not. :)
Discuss with your partner, before you even start about how you will handle it if birth control should fail. Don't have sex with anyone you don't know and love enough to marry should the need arise. Might sound a little old fashioned but its a good way to decide.
Last, but not least, do not ever feel that not having sex somehow makes you the odd ones. You may be approaching it in a more mature way, but it doesn't make you strange. So many teens and even adults make sex into a casual thing they do with about anybody. Thats why there are so many one parent households and teen pregnancies, and STD problems in the world. It also makes having sex nothing special to most.
Be proud you aren't following the crowd! Best of luck to you whatever you decide is best. :)
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I may be wrong but I felt the same way about my boyfriend, and then things went a totally new direction and we're not together at the moment. I couldn't imagine myself without him either...and it's still hard to grasp. Don't let yourself depend on him to much is the advice I would give to you, because you may not realize it, but he could be gone just like that. Believe me, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself that.
But to answer your question, it depends on your belief and morals on opinion on sex. You're not SUPPOSED to wait until marriage, it's just how most people think. And it is smart. Because, again, you may THINK you will be with him forever, but you never know. Me and my boyfriend never had sex but now that we're not together, I regret the other sexual things we did. If you don't strongly believe in the "Christian" and "smart" ways by waiting until marriage, then go for it :). Only if yall are both okay with it and it would be very smart to talk about it and make sure it's something you really want to do. And be safe :D. Things like sex can pull people apart though, because they start thinking the only type of love is sex, if that makes sense. They think they're still in love BECAUSE of the sex and are addicted to it.
Hope my opinion helped! And good luck on your decision and best to you and your boyfriend :D.
-Jenna
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well if you ask me everyday we are taking risks whether we are walking on the street or driving its all a risk of something bad happening..you and your boyfriend seem very close to eachother and thats very cute but in my opinion having sex is a big thing for me and id wait untill im really really ready for it even though youv been with him for a year im going to assume ur both virgins wich will make it easier for you guys to wait. if you werent virgins or if he wasnt i think itd b hard for him to wait until ur ready(my opinion) but sex is a big deal mayb you can try oral stuff first like blow jobs fingering and all that stuff and then when your ready make your first time special like have it made out to b romantic that way it wont b so regret ful because the time place and person was all right..hope this helped
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