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Lose my virginity?
I am 18/f. I am so attracted to my boyfriend, and I trust him with all of my heart. When we hook up, things get really heated, and I always feel like I'm restraining myself by not having sex with him. My body feels so ready, but I don't know if I am. I'm a virgin and I feel like my virginity is part of my identity and something I am proud of. How could I give it away? I don't know when I'll ever feel ready. How does one know? Should I have sex with my boyfriend? He is sexually experienced, but I know he's not pressuring me into anything.
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I wondered.
I thought losing my virginity would change me. It didn't. I woke up the same person the next day, except now I was the same person who got laid.
It opens up alot of possibilities with interpersonal relationships. Some good, some bad. The biggest risk of sex is of complication. It can be alot to adjust to. Not the having sex, but the impacts it has on your relationships.
What exactly are you waiting for? Most people set some kind of goals or conditions whether they do so consciously or unconsciously.
You shouldn't ask people when you should have sex with your boyfriend. Thats the point of virginity. Its your choice. And you have to make it.
I'd say instead of focusing on the nebulous haze of "virginity" you should focus on your specific reasons for not having sex. Trust issues, is he going to be there tomorrow, physical issues, worries about STDs or pregnancy, these are all pretty common worries.
Figure out which of them or what else is your reason to say no, then you can figure out what you want to do about it a bit more easily.
My one bit of proactive advice is a few more conversations with the boy in question. Open, honest ones. You've described a guy who would probably give you some decent feedback or at least a good understanding ear, consider telling him whats on your mind.
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I am glad to hear he is not pressuring you. Its a big decision. Women use sex to gain and express love while men can use love to get sex. Your virginity is something you can never get back and you want to be sure if you do this its with the right person. A person you are ok with being emotionally and physically attached to. If you get pregnant will he stay and support your decisions? You have your whole life to experience those feelings. Just make sure he deserves that special part of you!
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I applaud you for valuing yourself enough to wait.
My advice is that if you've waited this long, and you're sure this guy is the one, your best bet is waiting to see if the two of you are compatible enough for marriage. From the sounds of it, you'd be happier if you maintain your virginity until he's committed himself to you.
Trust that instinct that brought the doubt to your mind: "I don't know if I am."
Never make a decision to do ANYTHING you aren't certain about.
If he's the one, he'll respect your decision.
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