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abortion decision
(21/F) A few years ago, I had an abortion. It was during a serious relationship and I was going into college and I felt it was right due to all the circumstances. I had support from my family, but my boyfriend never knew because we split before I went through with it. Sometimes I really regret my decision, and wonder if it would have been a boy or a girl. I wonder what he/she would look like. It just hits me hard, still to this day. Deep down, I know it was the right decision but I cry alot and think about the "what ifs". Has anyone gone through this? What am I supposed to do? I don't need any lectures or personal opinions, I just need some honest help.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I don't have any experience with this, but if it were me I would try some professional counseling-- not because there is anything wrong with you, but just as something to help you sort through your feelings.
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ok my mom went through this before she met my dad and she told me that she never got over it and she still thinks about it and the "what-ifs" truly she never got over it. but just try to forget about it. i know this is hard to do but just try. you will always think about it even when you are old. i hope i helped=)
-Sam
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I myself have had an abortion, for the same reasons. I didnt tell asole, even my husband.
My days, months, years following were filled with regret and sadness. I became prg. for the third time and and when i gave birth my bf, says "theres some thing very special about this little girl", at that moment I knew That the life I had to "put on hold" came and was given back to me.
If your religious at all , Pray to your higher power.
And do it till your blue in the face.
You know you made the best choice...Other wise you wouldn't have went through with it. Right?
Look at it like it was a time that you pressed pause.
Good luck to you!
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am sorry for you. I'm a guy so I don't really know completely what you’re going thru but my mom about 6 years ago lost the baby before it was fully developed. For a very long time she was very sad. And it seemed like nothing could help her get over it. But yet she did and we go agenst abortion because of our bible trained conscience because it says at (Ps. 127:3) “Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah; the fruitage of the belly is a reward.” and also at John 16:21. Jesus Christ said: “A woman, when she is giving birth, has grief, because her hour has arrived; but when she has brought forth the young child, she remembers the tribulation no more because of the joy that a man has been born into. the world.” this is what I have come to believe but I also know you were scared you were young and did not completely know what you were doing and you at the time probably did not know these things. Try to find comfort in fact that god forgives. And I hope you can have time to read your bible because this is where I find the answers. Hope I have helped.
Mr-Fix-It
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I have never had an abortion or even been pregnant but my sister has and I know even tho she doesnt really talk about it, it still haunts her. I went with my sister to get her abortion and as much as she tried to act like she was ok I know she wasnt and i still sympathize with her to this day.
You cant concentrate on "what-ifs". Doing that is like a form of self torture. You have to concentrate on what-is. And right now what is is that YOU know you mad the right decision. You know that you loved your unborn baby enough to do the right thing for him or her no matter how much it hurt you. Abortion may not be right for everyone and some people may look down on it but I believe it is a personal choice. If you know yoourself that you didnt have the means to take care of the baby, you did whats best. Yes, theres always adoption people say, but who's to say the baby will go to a good family. I know they dont just hand babies out to anyone but any family can make themselves look good on the surface. But no one truly knows what goes on behind closed doors. And try to think of it this way, if you have any family members or friends or even pets that have passed, your little baby is in heaven growing and playing with them. And you two will meet again some day. And your little baby will thank you for allowing her to spend her life in heaven. In a way, theres no better life to have is there?
I hope I helped some and good luck to you.
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HI there.
I am 18 years old, and I too have had an abortion, it's been about a year and I did it all for the same reasons as you. When I had my abortion I had a lot of support from my family and boyfriend which were the only people who really knew. When I was pregnant I signed up for a website that would send me an e-mail once every week saying, "You're 20 weeks!" and it still sends me e-mails saying, "Your 4 month old, blah blah blah.." I know that it's a form of self-punishment because I regret my decision. Anyways, I joined this website called, www.passboards.org
Everyone on there has either had an abortion or has someone in their immediate family that has had an abortion and is needing to find help in coping with it. Seriously, like when I joined this site I was so amazed to know like, how much every single girl on the site had in common with me and that alone just made me feel like I wasn't by myself. They also have SRG's, which are online recovery groups that will help you out through the recovery process, it doesn't matter if you had your abortion a few years ago or a few decades ago. It makes me feel sad knowing that I've had an abortion, even though it WAS the right decision for myself, I hope that eventually I won't be so sad about it, but yeah, definitely check out that site. It'll make you feel tons better.
Good luck to you
and my e-mail is arichardson2008@yahoo.com
if you ever need to vent or talk, I totally know what you're going through and we can be some kind of support for each other.
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