Question Posted Thursday February 26 2009, 10:22 pm
16/f.
My boyfriend is a nice guy and can be quite funny at times, but he's so antisocial around other people. When I'm with him it's not as bad because he makes some sort of conversation, but when there are other people he's just so reserved. And I know he does it out of fear and I want to help him because I care about him. But at the same time sometimes I get so confused because I feel like this is the way he is and that I can never be who he needs. When we first started dating I didn't know that he was this way but as we started seeing eachother more often it's become clearer. We talked about it and he says he wants to change and be more open, but I just don't know anymore and I don't want to tell him. I can't tell him that I feel this way because it'll tear him apart for sure. I just don't know. Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
lostbutfound answered Friday February 27 2009, 5:15 am: All you realy can do is try and help him the best you can. Be there for him, be his supporter.If you don't think he wants to change The best thing you could do is just ask him, he will understand if he likes/loves you. I'm sure he'll really appreciate you caring about him so much, and this shows that you care. And at least in the end if things don't work you can say you tried to help. Really though, help him come out of his shell. Help everyone else see how great he is. Maybe even brag about him a little bit. Try and set him up with some friends of yours that you know he'll hit it off with. Maybe go on a group date and just get a conversation started on something that he's interested. Help him feel more confident. Don't let him be brought down by anyone, especially not himself. You are your own worst enemy remember that. I'm sure you two will be great. Just remember communication really is key. No matter how corny, or dumb that sounds, it really is the truth. Another thing is, take it slow. Don't rush him into it, just ease him into it. Don't make him do anything he wouldnt want to do. I wish you luck, and I hope I helped. [ lostbutfound's advice column | Ask lostbutfound A Question ]
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