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payback
so this is a little confusing,...so its gonna be kinda lengthy. bear with me. O.o
soooooo i guess it all started when my boyfriend M said he had a crush on my closest friend when he and i werent going out...the friends name is A. this kind of upset me a bit cuz shes so much prettier and smarter and a lot nicer than me. so it seemed pretty typical to me, but still upset me. and one night a few days before valentines day, we all smoked weed together and such. it was fun, but he looked like he was kind of flirting with her..to me anyways. maybe it was the weed, im not sure. but thats what it seemed like..
so yesterday, my ex, P sold me some weed at M's house, (and P just happens to of been good friends with M since they were really little.) and then we all got high together, and P and i kind of flirted a little, but i didnt know i was until i had started coming down from the high.
and M seemed really upset as soon as i had started to notice. he just laid on his bed and stared at nothing for 2 hours, and then fell asleep. P and i wanted to walk to P's house to get more weed, (i know im mentioning weed a lot, but please do not tell me to stop that. weed has NOTHING to do with my question.) and M said we could go without him. like he didnt even want to be around us. this upset me a bit, and when we got back, M's dad took me home and usually M gets out of the car to hug me and tell me he loves me, but this night he just stayed in the car and said "bye"...but he didnt say it meanly.
anyways, i think P is really cool, and i like smoking with him. but hes not the guy i fell in love with, and i think i was flirting cuz my subconscience was telling me to get back at M for flirting with A. i have no idea. but M usually invites me over everyday, and he hasnt called me yet and its almost lunch time for me. he usually asks at 9. and if, by any chance he DOES ask me over later, what do i say to him?
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I'd tell him exactly what you told me. trust and communication are a big and important factor in every relationship. Its important you always tell each other how you feel and ask each other questions when you have them.
Good luck. i hope that helps.
JP
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I hate to break it to you hun, but weed does have something to do with your question.
Weed affects the way your brain works, your inhibitions and the way you behave, as well as the way you perceive the people around you.
You perceived flirting between your boyfriend and best friend, which might not have even been happening (common side effect of pot: paranoia), and if it was happening, certainly wasn't happen while they were in their right mind. They were both under the effects of a drug that lowers inhibitions and impairs their judgment.
THEN you went out and got your own judgment impaired and did something equally silly in flirting with your ex.
I'm not saying this couldn't have happened without pot, it could have, and I'm not saying pot is a bad, bad thing. What I am saying is you need to be realistic: Pot contributed to this problem. If you are going to regularly smoke pot with people you and your boyfriend have romantic tension with, this is probably going to keep happening, same things goes for regularly getting drunk. Your rational mind should be able to figure that one out.
If anyone has a temptation or a vague idea about behaving badly, smoking pot is going to make it harder to resist those ideas, not easier.
Anyways, as for the position you are in now, just call him and be as completely honest about it as you were here. Say you were jealous, even if he didn’t DO anything, you still felt jealous and you made a mistake. Apologize up front for what you felt you did wrong, and let him share his side of the story. Don’t wait for him to tell you what he thinks your mistakes are, just own up to your own beliefs and feelings, and then ask him to do the same.
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