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mom is (emotionaly) hurting me.
16/F I have a boyfriend (17/m), and he is wonderful. he is sweet, kind, fun, compgassionate, and everything i thought i would never find. Yes i know im young, there for i cant possiably be in love, right. Sorry thats bull. I cant really explain it, i just know you know? I love him. thats not the problem tho. we got in a little trouble together a while back. nothing illeagle or life threatening tho. The first time, i let him in the house when he wasn't supposed to be. Long story but he was covered in scraches and mud, i had to let him use the bathroom to get cleaned up. Poor guy, wouldn't you have helped him? the second time, i skiped a day of school. ya bad i know, but it was during finals, but i had already finished the finals for those classes, and it was a PARTY day. Beasides i DID plan to go back for rehearsal. so anyway, now my mom is soo hateful toward my boyfriend, she keeps telling me how she dosn't trust us, but mostly him, how he is SUCH a bad, stupid guy and she is always dogging him. you have no idea how hurtful it is to have your mom being so hateful toward the man i love. plus there are things i need her support on, things im supposed to be able to trust her on, and i cant. i cant trust or talk to my own mother. i dont know what to do.
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Well, your mom is just being your mother; OVER PROTECTIVE
I see why you're mother doesn't like your boyfriend.
1. Going againts her rules and letting him in the house
2. Skipping school without her primission
She is feeling left out of your life, or maybe she is giving you a chance to prove he isn't a bad influence to you, she wants to be sure her little girl isn't i n bad hands, i mean abusive boyfriends are everywhere, crazy/ murderes and etc...
But don't let her get to you AT ALL, (I mean my parents are divorced, i dont talk or see my father, and i barely see my mother every two weeks or something and i'm used to it, back in the day i used to get pissed and mad but now, i actually starting to depend on myself with my personal life) So you should talk to your mom about your feelings and point of view, if she couldn't take it, i think you should let go, she'll come around when she actually sees how nice your boyfriend is and how he is making you happy, so prove to her your right and maybe then you guys can form a relationship.
Please don't give up on your boyfriend, he might get hurt in a very bad way.
Good Luck
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She is just being a mother. From her point of view, skipping school for him (even if you did finish those classes) isn't exactly going to get him in her good books.
I'm sure if your boyfriend needed help and cleaning up and you ASKED your mother instead of sneaking him in, maybe she would have changed her mind..?
Either way, you may have done a few things wrong in the past, but your mother shouldn't judge him how she is. She sounds a little over protective and just wants the best for her daughter. She may not see the "sweet, fun, compassionate" side just yet, but if you stick together with your boyfriend (and don't do anything else to make your mother dislike him), she may realize that maybe you two ARE good together and she was just being hasty.
You two need to prove yourself to her. Don't moan to her and constantly get on her case as to why she doesn't like him - she obviously doesn't know him well enough..
Is it possible to bring him round for dinner or something? Or any other way so they can communicate a little?
Like I said above, after a bit of time, she will probably get used to the fact that you two are sticking together. and once she sees you are maturing adults who are a good couple, she will change her mind about him.
I know you said you can't really talk to your mother, but if you can find it within yourself, sit her down and have a good chat to clear some things up. Or if you can't, write how you feel in a letter and give it to her.
She just seems a little clueless and doesn't want you to get hurt.
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Sounds like your mom is just being protective.
She wants you to do well in life, and have a great future with someone. Just remember that it's your choice with who you want to be with. And you're mom can't change that. Eventually she's gunna have to accept the fact you're growing up. Life isn't perfect, I had to deal with the same thing. Yes you can be inlove, even at a real young age. I was 14 when I met the guy I'm inlove with now,and I'm still with him ( I'm 16 currently. ) He's unlike any other guy in the world. And once you find someone like that, no matter what you just can't let go. And feels like you're emotionally attached to him for good.
You're mom has to understand that it's you're life. I got in A L O T of trouble dating this guy. But I don't regret it or wanna take back any of the things We've done. Skipping school one day is not a big deal. I skipped 73 days of school in grade 9 with my boyfriend. Everythings fine for me. Just try explaning to you're mom you don't care if she doesn't like him. Because it's not her decission on whether you should be with him or not. If being with him makes you happy. Then she should Understand and accept that no matter what (:
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You know that your mom is just trying to help you. Because you are 16 and you feel like your in love but those romantic things he may do they wont last. And you have to admit that he doesn't have the best influence on you. So I just say you talk to your mom on how you feel. And ask her why she feels the way she does. Because you never know some times your parents can be the best friend you have.
Mr-Fix-It
Okay dude, I'm a teenager too. I am NOT an adult. I was just stating my advice. Sorry if anything I said offended you in any way.
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I totally understand you.
My mom was like that with my ex.She knows what boys in your age do and she's afraid he might hurt you(or do something that would make you feel bad).I'm not saying he would,but that's certainly what she thinks.Give her time to accept him and let her know that even though she acts towards him as she does,you love him and that won't change.But be strong!It sounds like your mom is a sort of a person who won't give up on her opinion so easily.
If you can't get her approval,well,you'll have to live with it.Parents can't live our lives for us,there are things we must do alone.They aren't always right.If you are certain you love this guy,keep him by your side.And it's not true you can't be in love.Those are shallow thoughts of adults who weren't happy in love.The point is-keep the bf,no matter what happens.
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