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Neighbors are Gossipers
I have tried to have cordial relations with my neighbors, but do not have particularly close friendships with any of them.
A little over a year ago, a young man started coming to my home on a regular basis whenever my wife was out of town. After a while, he began spending the night with me when she was away.
Evidently, some of my neighbors noticed these visits and started gossiping about it, spreading the rumor that I am gay and that this young guy is my lover. More recently, however, he has spent the night when my wife is present, so now my neighbors think something kinky is going on.
At times I am puzzled by this. At other times I am angry at their arrogance and gall. The explanation is simple: The young man is my son from a previous relationship. Because we were prevented from having contact when he was a child, we are now trying to establish a relationship -- and we are making progress. My wife and other children have been wonderfully supportive in all this.
I really don't want to tell my neighbors what's going on because it will inevitably lead to a disclosure of some things that are really none of their business. But I am troubled by the rumor that I have a young male lover. What do you think I should do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
You shouldn't care what other people think, There are people all over who will judge others by what they see that is a part of life. Who cares if they think you are gay, Let them think it. After all, It is them who they are making a fool out of not you. This young man is your son, You are his father enjoy it being a parent is the most rewarding thing. Do not let your neighbors anger you and do not tell them what is going on because it is none of their buisness. If you do tell them, It will only give them more of a reason to gossip even more yet alone come up with something eles to spread around. Your buisness is your buisness. I honestly think you should continue being a wonderful dad I am sure you are and just live life to it's fullest. Don't worry about what other people think.
BahaiMa22
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Get over it.
Because really, what else can you do?!
Here is the really scary fact of the matter: People have been talking about you behind your back and leaping to all sorts of crazy conclusions all your life. Ever since you were in diapers this has been happening. The only difference in this case is A.) You know about them doing it and B.) You give a damn.
It’s not evil; it’s just human nature and a bit rude. People should be behaving better, but they often won’t.
Although it still may be difficult, the simplest solution to your problem is to stop giving a damn.
Unless you are willing to drop some comments about him being your son from a previous marriage... then the options you are left with are basically 'Get over it.' or 'Continue to fret and be offended by it.'
I don’t much like fretting and being offended by things outside of my control, so I’d go for the trying to get over it path.
You are an adult and a decent person. Even if you WERE doing something kinky with a young man and your wife, there would be nothing wrong with that! And there certainly isn’t anything wrong with what IS actually going on.
Someday the truth is likely to come out and your neighbors will feel a bit silly and probably have a good chuckle over their own dirty minds. Go ahead and have your good chuckle at them right now. They are being very silly, but not evil, and their idle gossip doesn’t reflect on you as a person, it’s just their own fictionalization. Try to let your anger go, because it can’t do you any good.
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